The Queen Will be Watching

John: Ladies and gentlemen, I am not simply going to say “And now for something completely different,” this week, because I do not think it fit.  This is a particularly auspicious occasion for us, this evening, as we have been told her majesty the Queen will be watching part of this show tonight.  We don’t know exactly when her majesty will be tuning in, we understand that at the moment she is watching “The Virginian.”  We have been promised that we will be informed the moment she changes channel.  He majesty would like everyone to behave quite normally, but her equerry has asked me to request all of you at home to stand when the great moment arrives, although we here in the studio will be carrying on with our humorous vignettes and spoofs in the ordinary manner.  Thank you.  And now, without any more adieu, completely as normal, here are the opening titles.   

(“Normal opening titles” consist of very formal, sedate animations accompanied by a full orchestra playing “Pomp and Circumstance.”  After a little while “the” foot comes down and smashes the animations)