Raymond Luxury Yacht Interview

 

 

 

(Fade in on ordinary interview set. Interviewer sitting with man with large polystyrene nose.)

 

Interviewer (Michael): Good evening. I have with me in the studio tonight one of the country's leading skin specialists - Raymond Luxury Yacht.

 

Raymond (Graham): That's not my name.

 

Interviewer: I'm sorry - Raymond Luxury Yach-t.

 

Raymond: No, no, no - it's spelt Raymond Luxury Yach-t, but it's pronounced 'Throatwarbler Mangrove'.

 

Interviewer: You're a very silly man and I'm not going to interview you.

 

Raymond: Ah, anti-Semitism!

 

Interviewer: Not at all. It's not even a proper nose. (takes it off) It's polystyrene.

 

Raymond: Give me my nose back.

 

Interviewer: You can collect it at reception. Now go away.

 

Raymond: I want to be on the television.

 

Interviewer: Well you can't.