The Man Who is Alternately Rude and Polite

 

 

 

(Animation sketch links us to a butcher's shop. Harmless looking city gent enters.)

 

Gent: Good morning, I'd care to purchase a chicken, please.

 

Butcher: Don't come here with that posh talk you nasty, stuck-up twit.

 

Gent: I beg your pardon?

 

Butcher: A chicken, sir. Certainly.

 

Gent: Thank you. And how much does that work out to per pound, my good fellow?

 

Butcher: Per pound, you slimy trollop, what kind of a ponce are you?

 

Gent: I'm sorry?

 

Butcher: 4/6 a pound, sir, nice and ready for roasting.

 

Gent: I see, and I'd care to purchase some stuffing in addition, please.

 

Butcher: Use your own, you great poofy poonagger!

 

Gent: What?

 

Butcher: Ah, certainly sir, some stuffing.

 

Gent: Oh, thank you.

 

Butcher: 'Oh, thank you' says the great queen like a la-di-dah poofta.

 

Gent: I beg your pardon?

 

Butcher: That's all right, sir, call again.

 

Gent: Excuse me.

 

Butcher: What is it now, you great pillock?

 

Gent: Well, I can't help noticing that you insult me and then you're polite to me alternately.

 

Butcher: I'm terribly sorry to hear that, sir.

 

Gent: That's all right. It doesn't really matter.

 

Butcher: Tough titty if it did, you nasty spotted prancer.