Crelm Toothpaste Sketch (Continued from Job Hunter Sketch)

 

 

Voice Over (Terry G): So Miss Johnson returned to her typing and dreamed her little dreamy dreams, unaware as she was of the cruel trick fate had in store for her. For Miss Johnson was about to fall victim of the dreaded international Chinese Communist Conspiracy. (lots of little yellow men pour into the office) Yes, these fanatical thieves under the leadership of the so-called Mao Tse-tung (who appears in the animation) had caught Miss Johnson off guard for one brief but fatal moment and destroyed her. (Miss Johnson is submerged in a tide of yellow men) Just as they are ready to do anytime free men anywhere waver in their defense of democracy.

 

(Over the “sea of communism” American patriotic music starts and a very extravagant tall ship with American Flags waving sails into the shot)

 

Terry G: Yes, once again American defense proves its effectiveness against international communism.  Using this diagram of a tooth to represent any small country we can see how communism works by eroding away from the inside.  (Animation of a tooth is shown slowly turning brown with decay.  A hammer hits the tooth and it caves in.)  When one country, or tooth, falls victim to international communism its neighbors soon follow.  (Animation of mouth shows one tooth rot and fall out, all the rest then fall over like dominoes.)  In dentistry this is known as the “domino theory,” but with American defense the decay is stopped before it starts.  And that’s why nine out of ten small countries chose American defense.

 

New Voice Over (Eric): Or Crelm Toothpaste with the miracle ingredient, frauduline.  The white car represents Crelm Toothpaste with the miracle ingredient frauduline.  The not-white car represents another toothpaste.  (Animated cars begin driving. The two cars pass a banner that says “30% Protection”) Both toothpastes provide thirty percent protection.  (Cars keep going and pass a “60% Protection” banner.)  At sixty percent protection both toothpastes are doing well.  And now at ninety percent protection the… (Animated cars approach “90% Protection” banner.  The white car passes under, the not-white car suddenly flips onto its back).  Wait! The not-white car is out!  And Crelm Toothpaste goes on to win with 100% protection.  Yes, do like all smart motorists and use Crelm Toothpaste.

 

Different Voice Over (Michael): Or Shrill Petrol with the new additive: GLC942075, after 6pm 9424047.  Using this white card to represent engine deposits (White card covers half of screen) and this black card (black card covers half of screen) to represent Shrill’s new additive GLC9424075, after 6pm 94240 double 7, (black half of screen expands and pushes white section out of existence) we see how the engine deposits are pushed off the face of the earth by the superior forces available to Shrill (Sound of a gunshot).

 

(Cut to Agatha Christie Sketch)