Camp Square-Bashing
(Cut
to interviewer at desk.)
Interviewer:
Next week we'll be showing you how to pick up an architect, how to pull a prime
minister, and how to have fun with a wholesale poulterer. But now the men of
the Derbyshire Light Infantry entertain us with a precision display of bad
temper.
Voice
Over: Attention
(Eight
soldiers in two ranks of four. They halt, and start to chant with precision.)
Soldiers:
My goodness me, I am in a bad temper today all right, two, three, damn, damn,
two, three, I am vexed and ratty. (shake fists) Two, three, and hopping mad.
(stamp feet)
(Cut
to interviewer.)
Interviewer:
And next the men of the Second Armoured Division regale us with their famous
close order swanning about.
(Cut
to sergeant with eight soldiers.)
Sergeant:
Squad. Camp it ... up!
Soldiers:
(mincing in unison) Oooh get her! Whoops! I've got your number ducky. You
couldn't afford me, dear. Two three. I'd scratch your eyes out. Don't come the
brigadier bit with us, dear, we all know where you've been, you military fairy.
Whoops, don't look now girls the major's just minced in with that dolly color
sergeant, two, three, ooh-ho!
(Cut
to interviewer.)
Interviewer:
And finally...
(ANIMATION:
dancing generals, then the story of the killer cars.)