People Falling From Buildings

 

 

(Two people seated opposite each other at a desk. Between them there is a large window. It appears that they are quite high up in a large office building. Every so often a body falls past the window. They are both working busily. After a pause a body drops past the window. First Man talks. Second Man hasn't noticed.)

 

First Man: (Eric Idle) Hey, did you see that?

 

Second Man: (John Cleese) Uhm?

 

First Man: Did you see somebody go past the window?

 

Second Man: What?

 

First Man: Somebody just went past the window. That way. (indicates down)

 

Second Man: (flatly) Oh. Oh.

 

(Second Man returns to his work. First Man looks for a little. As he starts to work again another body goes hurtling past the window.)

 

First Man: Another one.

 

Second Man: Huh?

 

First Man: Another one just went past downwards.

 

Second Man: What?

 

First Man: Two people have just fallen out of that window to their almost certain death.

 

Second Man: Fine, fine. Fine.

 

First Man: Look! Two people (another falls) three people have just fallen past that window.

 

Second Man: Must be a board meeting.

 

First Man: Oh yeah. (another falls past) Hey. That was Wilkins of finance.

 

Second Man: Oh, no, that was Robertson.

 

First Man: Wilkins.

 

Second Man: Robertson.

 

First Man: Wilkins.

 

Second Man: Robertson.

 

(Another falls.)

 

First Man: That was Wilkins.

 

Second Man: That was Wilkins. He was a good, good, er, golfer, Wilkins.

 

First Man: Very good golfer. Very good golfer. Rotten at finance. It'll be Parkinson next.

 

Second Man: Bet you it won't.

 

First Man: How much.

 

Second Man: What?

 

First Man: How much do you bet it won't? Fiver?

 

Second Man: All right.

 

First Man: Done.

 

Second Man: You're on.

 

First Man: Fine. (shakes; they look at the window) Come on Parky.

 

Second Man: Don't do it Parky.

 

First Man: Come on Parky. Jump Parky. Jump.

 

Second Man: Come on now be sensible Parky.

 

(Cut to letter.)

 

Voice Over: Dear Sir, I am writing to complain about that sketch about people failing out of a high building. I have worked all my life in such a building and have never once.... [arrgghhh] [splat]

 

(Cut to film of man falling out of window. Cut back to set. First Man has hands in the air jubilantly.)

 

First Man: Parkinson!

 

Second Man: Johnson!