Llamas

 

 

(On screen we see a caption: 'THE LLAMA')

 

(A Spanish guitarist and a dancer in traditional Spanish costume [Terry J and Eric], followed by a caption on the screen : 'LIVE FROM GOLDERS GREEN'. Man [Jonn] enters and walks up to a life-size photo of a llama. He delivers the following lecture in Spanish, with help from the guitarist and dancer, and superimposed subtitles.')

 

Man: (but in partially real, partially mock Spanish with subtitles in English) The llama is a quadruped which lives in big rivers like the Amazon. It has two ears, a heart, a forehead, and a beak for eating honey. But it is provided with fins for swimming. (Motions of swimming…)

 

Guitarist & Dancer (singing): Llamas are larger than frogs.

 

Man: Llamas are dangerous, so if you see one where people are swimming, you shout... Look out!  There are Llamas!!!

 

Guitarist & Dancer: Look out, look out, look out!  There are llamas!

 

(A Spanish Lady dressed in a spanish frock [Graham], enters on a moped she blows up a paper bag and bursts it. They bow. Cut to exterior Ada's Snack Bar [a small cafe]. Hand-held camera moves round the back to where an announcer is seated at desk with an old-fashioned BBC microphone.)

 

Announcer: And now for something completely different - a man with a tape recorder up his nose.