Weekly Assignment
Week Four: Challenges to My Faith
I have always noticed the challenges we talked about this week, yet never to their full extent. The most obvious for me was the attack from atheism. While I have had arguments over my Faith with atheists before, that never really challenged my Faith because I didn't really listen to their perspective. I do however, always question God's existance in the back of mind. While I don't like questioning my Faith, I think it's necessary to grow. Someone once told my that it's good to question your beliefs, just so long as the questioning doesn't turn to doubt. I don't think I've ever seriously doubted God's existence- that idea makes no sense to me. Sometimes I try and see what my life would amount to if I didn't believe in God, but then I realize that without God there really is no reason to live.
The challenge from science doesnt really strike me as that important yet because I have no knowledge of anything that is scientifically true that really distorts my beliefs. I was shaken a bit last year when I was told that historically and scientifically, Mary probably did not die a virgin and Jesus might have had siblings. Coincidently, I learned this right before the Steubenville retreat last year. In the beginning of the retreat I kept thinking about all of these things that might not be true. Then, during Eucharistic Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament on Saturday night, it just hit me- Jesus didn't want me to spend time being paranoid of all of the little things in His life, He just wanted me to love Him. I realized that, while there is definitely a place for reasoning when it comes to my Faith, I just need to love him.
I had always thought something of the media and its efforts to try and sell happiness, but never gave it a lot of thought. The movies we watched in class made me realize how unrealistic yet believable ads can be. I realized that I often think too highly of my possessions and their means of making me happy. If my house was burnt down and I lost all of my belongings, I don't know if I'd be able to live without certain things at first. I defined myself too much in some of the stuff that I own.
This class has been a real challenge to my Faith, that is, to look at my Faith on a more intellectual level. Discussing Faith from an angle of reason was hard for me because I've always practiced my Faith on a more spiritual level. Although I enjoy the class, I couldn't help thinking... if God doesn't exist then I see where we need all of this logic and reason to support it, but didn't Jesus want us to believe without seeing? Wouldn't He prefer us to follow Him without proof of His existence? Aren't we supposed to enter the kingdom of God like a child? I understand the reasons for looking at my Faith more intelligently, and I realize that that I need to do so in order to grow deeper in my faith and learn more about God, like reading the Bible and finding out what exactly the Catholic Church's teachings are, but isn't Faith supposed to be more a loving trust like we discussed? I realize that that can't really be taught in a classroom. I understand from a secular perpective (or maybe practial atheist) why we have to approach Faith reasonably, but isn't the key part of belief and trust that they're not certain? I'm not saying I dislike the class, because I really do enjoy it a lot, but the type of faith I learn in this class is different than the kind that I am used to in my youth group.