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The One Where All The Bad Stuff Happens (Part IV)
by Jennifer Johnson
The week has been a waking nightmare for Rachel. The
only man she had ever loved, her soulmate, her lobster, as
Phoebe had once so elegantly put it, was gone. Everywhere
she stumbled to, Joey was there to take care of her, but he
wasn't Ross.
Chandler was forced from the apartment he once shared
with Monica. But, where could he go? Joey still treated him
as if he carried the plague, and Phoebe saw him as the man
who stole Joey.
INT. MONICA AND CHANDLER'S - DAY
Once a place of great comfort, Monica's living room is
now suffocating. They all know on some level that Ross'
memorial service is their last chance at reconciliation, but
nobody can find any words, much less the right ones.
Sensing the tension, the other guests -- including Jack
and Judy, and Carol, Susan, and Ben -- keep their
distance.
An eternity passes before Chandler, wearing a sweater
with sleeves that are the perfect length to shield his
arms, finally stands. Instinct automatically pulls Joey back,
and he regrets it immediately. However, he doesn't even
bother Chandler anymore.
CHANDLER
Monica? Can I use your bathroom?
What's she going to say? No?
MONICA
Go right ahead.
The others use that as their excuse to escape.
INT. MONICA AND CHANDLER'S BATHROOM - NIGHT
By the time the other guests finally leave, Monica doesn't
even feel like cleaning up. She just wants to take a nice, long
bubble bath and crawl into bed. Maybe in the morning she'll
be able to wake up from this nightmare and find herself in
Chandler's arms.
Monica flips on the light. Chandler is motionless and cold in
the tub. His arm is bleeding and bruised where the heroin
needle is still stuck in his vein. His lips have a bluish tint to them.
MONICA
Oh my God! Chandler!
Monica runs to Chandler. She turns the shower on and
hops into the tub with him. She holds him beneath the icy
water, and Chandler comes to, gasping for air. He collapses
against Monica.
CHANDLER
You should have let me die. Why didn�t you let me die?
Monica holds him tight.
INT. MONICA AND CHANDLER'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Monica tucks Chandler into bed.
CHANDLER
Mon, I'm fine. Really.
Chandler sits up. Monica puts her hand against his chest and
pushes him back against the pillow harder than she had intended.
CHANDLER
Okay. Ow.
MONICA
Chandler, you almost died. You're staying here
tonight so I can keep an eye on you.
Monica pulls the sheets tight. Chandler makes a choking noise.
MONICA
Good-night, Chandler.
Monica leaves him alone. Chandler lays back on the pillow and
stares at the ceiling. The sheets feel familiar against his skin.
His mind is a thousand places at once. This is where he
belongs -- with Monica.
Monica appears as if from nowhere to sit next to him.
MONICA
Chandler?
Chandler pops up.
MONICA
We're still friends, right?
Chandler smiles and pats her hand.
CHANDLER
The best.
Monica smiles back. She throws her arms around him and
holds him tight.
INT. JOEY AND RACHEL'S - NIGHT
Rachel has been in the bathroom a really long time -- even for
a girl. Uneasy, he knocks on the door.
JOEY
Rach?
No answer. Fear slithers down Joey's spine. He knocks again,
harder this time. Still nothing. Joey throws open the door and
stumbles
INSIDE JOEY AND RACHEL'S BATHROOM
Her bath water runs red with blood. Her head lolls on her neck.
Closer inspection reveals deep slashes crisscrossing her
wrists. Her razor blade is perched precariously on the edge of
the tub.
INT. JOEY AND RACHEL'S - DAY
Rachel's death has given them all another chance. There's
still tension, but this time they can look one another in the eye.
And Monica is letting Chandler put his arm around her.
CHANDLER
Joe...
JOEY
Yeah, I know.
A long silence. Neither know what to say. Finally,
CHANDLER
So, are we cool?
JOEY
Forget about it.
They gaze at each other for a long time. Suddenly, Joey
wraps his arms around Chandler in a hug. Chandler hugs
him back. Chandler feels soft against him, and his smell is
intoxicating. They make room for Monica and Phoebe to join
them in one big group hug.
Chandler has been staying in Monica's spare bedroom
until a bed is available in the rehabilitation clinic. Phoebe is
subletting her apartment to an ex-carnie so that she can stay
with Joey. The tension between the four of them is gone. If
anything, the experience has drawn the four of them closer
together.
INT. CENTRAL PERK - DAY
The four friends sit in a circle on the floor.
PHOEBE
All right, everyone. Release the negative energy--
Phoebe leads them all in a long exhale.
PHOEBE
--bring in the positive energy.
Now she leads them in a long inhale. She opens one eye,
then the other. Monica and Chandler's eyes are closed. Joey
is gazing at Chandler. He catches Phoebe looking at him out
of the corner of his eye, and he quickly looks anywhere else.
Phoebe smiles. She gets up, and gestures for Joey to follow.
Joey casts a sideways glance at Chandler, then goes to Phoebe.
PHOEBE
You really love him, don't you?
JOEY
Yes. No! I don't know. I'm all confused. I miss him. A lot.
Phoebe pats Joey's shoulder.
PHOEBE
It's okay, Joey. It's okay.
Phoebe leans against him. Her voice tickles his ear.
PHOEBE
Go for it.
Joey glances back at Chandler, who is deep in conversation
with Monica. The butterflies are fluttering around his stomach
again.
JOEY
You think?
PHOEBE
Not usually.
Monica laughs at one of Chandler's jokes and touches his
hand. They look up as Gunther joins them.
GUNTHER
Are one of you Chandler?
CHANDLER
I'm Chandler.
GUNTHER
Phone call.
Chandler leaps up and over the coffee table. He scurries to
take the call. Monica comes up behind him. She watches,
nervously chewing her fingernails. Finally, after an agonizing
couple of minutes, Chandler hangs up.
MONICA
So? Did you get in?
Chandler drops his eyes. Monica studies him, but only for a
moment.
MONICA
Wait a minute. Are you doing Joey's thing again?
Chandler's trademark grin returns to his face.
CHANDLER
Yeah I am!
Monica leaps into his arms and gives him a big hug. He
hugs her back. Phoebe and Joey join them.
PHOEBE
What's going on?
Then it comes to her.
PHOEBE
You got into the rehab clinic. That's great!
Phoebe gives him a hug. When they part, Chandler's eyes
lock with Joey's. There is a moment of awkward silence.
JOEY
Chandler.
CHANDLER
Joe.
Suddenly, Joey comes flying at Chandler. He leaps into his
arms, wrapping his legs around Chandler's waist. Chandler
stumbles back, using the wall to help support Joey's weight.
Joey presses his lips against Chandler's. Chandler makes a
surprised little squeak before returning the kiss.
INT. CENTRAL PERK - DAY
The moment she touches it, Phoebe realizes that her guitar
is the thing that's been missing from her hands. Her fingers
tingle with excitement as she forms the 'old lady'.
PHOEBE
This song is for absent friends.
Monica, Chandler, and Joey enjoy her especially soulful
rendition of Smelly Cat.
FADE OUT
Monica and Chandler remained very close. Together, they
raised a son, which Monica adopted as a baby. She named
him Ross, after her brother.
After waiting to see the judge assign Mark twenty years,
Phoebe took Joey's advice and moved to Minsk to be with
David the scientist guy. They returned to the Village a few
years later. They have two kids, Joey and Lily.
The lover thing didn't work out as Joey and Chandler had
hoped, but they were able to work through it and remain
friends.
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