It's cool, man, I don't need the help, I've written a lot of shows alone, I've written the vast majority of what's been going on here all by myself and it's been quite the pleasure to do so. Whatever, that's the way it is when you're involved and at the head of this sort of operation.

Truth of the matter is I'm not really feeling it this week, for whatever reason, maybe it's because I didn't even think anyone was going to show up, but most of you did show up and roleplay and that's wonderful and you've saved this whole thing and unlike some other people who have run feds in the past... I'm not going to fucking postpone this until I feel like doing it. It's 3 AM and what you are about to read is me just straight going through this shit and writing it until it is done.

Enjoy? Meh, it's going to be different and probably less detailed, but we'll get through it.

MATCH ONE
EXHIBITION MATCH

Michael Cannon w/ some bitch vs. Shahid

Alright, I'm going to break kayfabe for a moment here and explain something. Usually, I don't write my own shit. I just don't do it, it's not ethical, but right here? I'm writing it and I'm going to win this match, not because you didn't try hard, Cannon, but hey... let's face it, I got some good reviews and you didn't get any. Let that be a lesson, maybe something needs to change. Maybe fewer cheesy "Cannon" references, but I don't know, I love you man, you been with me for a long time, so let's see what we can do with this.

So yeah, you know I win, but hey, on the television, it wasn't without a damn good fight because it was a pretty impressive display compared to previous outings for Michael Cannon. Cannon did hit some impressive high risk maneuvers such as a sunset flip bomb to the floor on Shahid and nailed a WONDERFUL Twisting Senton Splash into the crowd that most of these people will not forget by the end of the evening. Unfortunately for this cocky little pipsqueak, Shahid came out biting and clawing and did not want to lose this by any means. Instead, Shahid tried to knock his head off with some pretty vicious clotheslines and leg lariats and got near falls very early into this match with both a springboard backflip legdrop and a jumping spike DDT. The end of the match came when Ashley or whatever got up on the apron and Shahid attacked her with his utility knife and cut her open very bad.

This upset Michael Cannon heavily and he wanted to take her to the back to get her checked on and the fans were very upset, but Shahid blind sided Cannon as he was carrying Ashely up the ramp with a chairshot to the back of his fucking skull that knocked him unconscious and Shahid choked the ref until he'd make a pinfall count on the ramp.

WINNER: SHAHID ("PINFALL")

Shahid then further taunted Cannon with some psychobabble and headed backstage.

MATCH TWO
EXHIBITION MATCH

Kenn Xenon vs. Jaycen Starr

Davi Araujo apparently didn't feel like showing up this week. Whatever, we got ourselves a very good looking singles match anyway, so it's cool. Matt went ahead and judged this one, so don't try to blame what happens next on my own narcassism or some shit, it ain't like that.

Starr and Xenon were pretty perfectly matched and did a lot of those flippy little twisting Cruiser reversals that everyone enjoys so much, and then went into a spree of Kung Fu inspired ducking and dodging of kicks and shit that got the fans really hyped as they were set in a deadlock. Highspot on the match went to Starr, as he nailed a sick Phoenix Plancha that crushed Xenon on the outside. Xenon was in control most of this match and really showed his impressive agility and skills with moves like a springboard wheel kick that went pretty much from end to end of the ring and a masterful Cross Arm Prawn Hold/Release X-Plex followed by the Xenomenon for the ending.

WINNER: KENN XENON (PINFALL)

After the match, clearly upset being showed up by a man like Xenon, Starr low blows Xenon during his lengthy celebration with these wild Montreal fans and nails an Ocean Cyclone Suplex that sends quite the message about his demeanor.

MATCH THREE
EXHIBITION MATCH

Homicide w/ Rottwielers vs. Matt Striker

Eh, this match barely gets underway when Sanjay Khan comes in and he and those other dudes at ringside beat up on Matt Striker all gangster like. Boos from the crowd. Gang signs fly. A real 5150 event.

WINNER: NO CONTEST

MATCH FOUR
TAG TEAM MATCH

H8 Club (Nick Gage/Justice Pain) vs. Eddie Kingston/CM Punk

Kingston and Gage started this match and showed a great understanding and liking for the strong style, doing a lot of stiff kicks and chops. Unfortunately for Kingston, this is where he stays in this match, as the lights go out about 3 minutes in and... BOOM! Out comes Kane and James Mitchell from behind the curtain. CM Punk runs at this point, knowing full well what they are coming for, and Kane and Mitchell simply stop at the middle of the ramp and watch Punk flee from danger once more.

Doesn't do anything good for Kingston, as he gets beat down pretty heavily and finished off with at least a little dignity with the Pain Thriller. He put up a good fight, but c'mon, it's two on one and you're in there with some bad motherfuckers. Do the math, kids.

WINNERS: H8 CLUB (PINFALL)

MATCH FIVE
EXHIBITION MATCH

Christian Isis w/ Laney vs. Alex Shelley

These two exchange in some truly tremendous wrestling, probably the best on the entire show. We see some of that beautiful European catch influence with Shelley reversing armbars with some sort of rolly reversals I can't even truly describe. Then we have Isis turning up the heat with some serious spot action, turning a counter from Shelley of a corner Avalanche into sort of a blind jumping rana from the top rope that got the fans all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

Unfortunately for Isis, he didn't have a good supply of insider knowledge, because as he was going for the pinfall after a devastating Triple C, Laney went ahead and grabbed the referee's leg and distracted him. Isis couldn't possibly fathom what was going on, but I think he got the message when he took a ShellShock and got locked up in the Border City Stretch and watched Laney laugh as he writhed in pain.

Isis submitted to this hold with the utmost shame.

WINNER: ALEX SHELLEY (SUBMISSION)

Shelley and Laney leave the ringside area mocking Isis and making fun of his, well, the size of his penis. That's what we in the business call a swerve, ladies and gents.

MATCH SIX
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH

Chris Fallon vs. Razor vs. Blake Straker

Once again, I got outside opinions of this result.

Fallon seemed very hungry in this match and took the fight to both Razor and Straker, but Straker seemed to be holding back most of the match and was trying to get Fallon to slip up and/or wear himself out with his over exhuberance. Razor faught with a lot of pride, but he seemed to be alarmingly outclassed here with two guys who seemed to be taking this match a lot more seriously and seemed to have a lot sounder strategies and were better prepared for battle of this particular night. Fallon had knocked Straker to the outside and thought he would have this thing won by nailing The Tempest and then the Suicide Headbutt on Razor, but Straker was able to rebound in time and get to the top rope and nail his Flying Elbowdrop to the back of Fallon's head and pin Razor himself for the victory.

WINNER: BLAKE STRAKER (PINFALL)

Fallon was pretty upset that his hard work didn't pay off on this night and he and Straker had quite the stare down. This, however, took attention off of Razor, which is something you don't want to do. Razor went to the outside and retrieved a chair and attempted to hit Straker in the back with it, but Fallon pushed Straker out of the way and dodged the chair simultaneously and Razor hit nothing. Fallon then began to attack Razor, but and send him off and up the ramp and Straker chased him off by grabbing a chair of his own.

MATCH SEVEN
EXHIBITION MATCH

AJ Cross vs. Mystery Opponent

AJ Cross and Rohan Malhotra were both instructed to be out there tonight to hear who it is that Cross will be making his debut against. Raven made his way to the ring and announced, in a shocking moment, that it would not be Cross afterall who would be facing anybody on this particular night. Instead, Raven announced that he will not make his debut until Total Devastation.

Raven then announced that it would the whining Rohan, who has everything and still bitches about, well, everything that would be doing battle against...

KANE!!!

MATCH SEVEN
EXHIBITION MATCH

Rohan Malhotra vs. Kane w/ James Mitchell

Cross, who was overjoyed, watched this match with absolute glee as Kane started off completely dominating his opponent, the Triple Crown champion. Rohan would finally dodged a big boot from Kane around the 3 minute point and dropkick the leg to start to mount some sort of advantage. Unfortunately, the advantage didn't last long, as both Mitchell and Cross were both working in Kane's favor.

Kane seemed to be heading towards victory with his throat slashing taunt, when suddenly CM Punk hit the ring to many, many boos and used a pair of brass knuckles to attack James Mitchell. This distracted Kane hugely and Kane went off to chase Punk through the crowd and this time he actually got him by the hair before he could get too far.

WINNER: NO CONTEST

Kane and Punk battle through the crowd at this point.

Cross headed into the ring and measured up the very worn down Rohan Malhotra for attack. Before he can do much of an attack, Blake Straker is in the ring and punching and kicking Cross rapidly and sending him back into the corner. Cross manages to roll out of the ring and try to head for higher ground.

Straker helps up Rohan with a smile of his face, Rohan holding his ribs... and then Blake SPIN KICKS ROHAN RIGHT TO THE FACE! Straker stands with his eyes closed and the fans are just totally mixed up at this point. Straker then picks up Rohan and NAILS HIM with the Spellbinder.

Straker is on one knee, his eyes closed as he hovers over Malhotra, and chanting something very weird as the fans buzz. Cross looks down in complete intrigue of his mysterious former friend and now foe.

Up in the balcony, Kane and CM Punk continue to brawl and Kane is getting the way better end of this. Punk manages to catch Kane with a knee to the gut and slams him face first into the metal railing, but Kane just stands straight up and shakes his head and then kicks Punk and grabs him by the throat.

CHOKESLAM OFF THE BALCONY THROUGH A TABLE ON THE FLOOR!

"Holy Shit" chants ring throughout this arena as the show goes off the air.