"Push It To The Limit" is playing loudly on your screen and in the arena and we can hear the very lively crowd getting into it. Chants for blood and horns and drums and other exotic shit is going on in the background as we head over to Joey and Larry to get the scoop on the events of the evening.

Joey Styles:
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the first broadcast of Machismo Overload and what we have on the card for you tonight is-

Larry Sweeney:
WRESTLING, BABY, AHAHAHA!!! You know what, Joey, you bum, just sit back and shut your lips and watch some action and let the sexy beast of the booth give these millions of fans a little insight, a little TASTE, of what goes on in the mind of a true COMPETITOR!

Joey Styles:
Well, Larry, what do you think about tonight's card and what do you think must be going through the heads of all of these men after the very intense showing at "Call to Arms"?

Larry Sweeney:
"Calls to Arms" was really a WAKE UP CALL for a lot of these bums in the back who maybe thought were, they were, they were just gonna COME IN AND SIT BACK AND CRUISE DOWN MAIN STREET WITH A FAT CONTRACT! No, no, no, what they have come to realize now is they gotta earn their seven figure deals by showing a little God given TALENT, much like his "Sweet'N'Sourness" has always done whether it be in the ring or here at the table carrying your bum keester every broadcast!

Joey Styles:
Well, I can certainly see where you might have a point somewhere in there, but let's just go ahead and get to the ring and watch some great ANWF action!

Larry Sweeney:
Blow me.

And so we head to the ring!

MATCH ONE
EXHIBITION MATCH

"The Big F'N Story" Johnny Reed vs. Justice Pain

Justice Pain is generally regarded as more of a "hardcore" type of wrestling superstar, but at the opening bell these two really went at it with sequences more versed in lucha libre than anything else and these Puerto Rican fans really seemed to appreciate the gesture. Reed really got some heat on Pain after the opening exchange by gauging the eyes and hitting a low blow, then taunting the fans with many profane gestures such as his trademark "Reed between the lines" pose that has never won him any popularity contests.

Pain was able to get this thing to the outside after a short rally of fists and the fans actually grabbed Johnny Reed and held him so that Pain could put a few shots to his rib cage, but the security guards and referees broke it up, but not before Reed was BURNED BY A CIGARETTE by one of the fans, really pissing him off and starting a scirmish between him and the audience. Pain nailed a beautiful Asai moonsault that crushed Reed after all of that and took things back into the ring, but only a two count.

The finaly sequence of the match saw Pain going up top and maybe attempting a high risk move, but Johnny Reed grabbed the referee and distracted him as a man from backstage ran out and pushed Pain off the top rope and down to the apron hard! Reed followed up by picking up Pain and nailing his Press Release to seal the victory!

WINNER: JOHNNY REED (PINFALL)

Nick Gage runs out at this point holding a 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire and chases Reed and this other guy out from ringside, but as they head up the ramp it becomes apparent that this random dude just happens to be Johnny's brother, RYAN REED, and they look very satisfied as they head the ramp... only until Gage runs out of the ring and after them up the ramp and they high tail it!

Joey Styles:
Damn that Johnny Reed, I knew he had to have something up his sleeve to be facing a man the caliber of Justice Pain! He's never faced a fight on his own in his whole damn life!

Larry Sweeney:
You see, Joey, what you need to understand is Reed was smart enough to know it wasn't a matter of a masterpiece performance that would beat Justice Pain, it was a matter of PAINT BY NUMBERS and the numbers game gave him plenty of power! Just because Pain is too stupid to use that to his advantage, don't knock Reed for doing his homework and calling up his posse, baby!

Joey Styles:
It's called ethics and dignity, something neither Reed nor you, apparently, know anything about.

Larry Sweeney:
All I know about it winning and looking good while I do it, and apparently Reed is cut from the same superior cloth, that's all I have to say about that! Any bum who wants to dispute that FACT can come and find me! It won't be hard, because I'm the guy with the big car and all the women!

Joey Styles:
Alright, alright, enough, back to the action!

And so we cut back to the ring now.

MATCH TWO
ELIMINATION FOUR CORNERS MATCH

Alex Shelley vs. Short Dawg vs. Matt Marley vs. Davi Araujo

This match up was as fast paced and spot filled as one might come to expect, but not without it's rather sloppy moments and down right scary moments. Alex Shelley was looking in high form here tonight and really stole the spotlight in this match, using his fancy reversals and crisp and slightly conservative aerial arsenal to really make a big impact in his ANWF debut.

The sloppy and the scary really came from Short Dawg and Matt Marley's camps, as both of these guys tried to do more death defying stunts than anyone else in this match, but Short dawg managed at one point to over shoot a plancha attempt and hit the back of his neck of the guardrail and Matt Marley almost killed himself twice: once trying a springboard move that saw him plant his forehead and the other time attempting an Asai moonsault but slipping on the middle rope and cracking the back of his neck of the apron.... that last one pretty much putting him out of this match.

Shelley made the attempt at nailing a Sliced Bread#2 to end this match on Davi Araujo as the end was near, but Araujo managed to crotch Shelley on the top rope and then nail a springboard roundhouse kick to the back of his head, followed by a handstand on the turnbuckles sort of frontflip corkscrew legdrop and then, after kicking Short Dawg off the apron, Araujo nails the Cyclone Kick to get a pretty convincing victory in a murderous spree.

WINNER: DAVI ARAUJO

MATCH THREE
EXHIBITION MATCH

Christian Isis w/ Laney vs. Michael Simons

Isis and Laney come out to this match very confident, as always, but Laney knows a lot more than Isis and Simons at this point. She gives a playful wink to referee Nick Patrick and Patrick grins and then gets very serious as he looks at Michael Simons.

Before the match starts, Nick Patrick gives Simons a thorough inspection, checking his boots and tights and wrist tape for weapons. He doesn't do the same to Isis, though, and Simons protests, but Patrick tells him he's not going to put up with any of his shenanigans and the match gets started.

These two tie up and have a fine display of chain wrestling to start, but about 30 seconds into the display, Patrick breaks it up and warns Simons rather unwarrantedly about pulling Isis' hair and Isis just shrugs and attacks Simons as he tries to protest once more against this seemingly biased refereeing on Patrick's part. The match goes on and Isis catches Simons with a mule kick as he's attempting a German suplex, but Patrick doesn't seem to notice and Isis gets a two count after a Swinging X-Factor to the Knees. Simons manages to battle back and hit a ferocious Spear, followed by a big time Sit-Out Powerbomb, but Patrick breaks it up and accuses Simons of holding the tights!

Simons explodes and grabs Patrick by the collar and threatens him in the corner, but Isis grabs him and rolls him up with a School Boy and has his feet on the ropes and is holding the tights! Patrick makes the count and the crowd goes insane with booing as Isis gets away with murder in broad daylight!

WINNER: CHRISTIAN ISIS (PINFALL)

Laney jumps up onto the apron and is clapping, Patrick and Christian both go over to greet her, but as Patrick has his back turned, Simons rushes up and nails a VICIOUS BLIND EYE HALO! Simons rushes up and wants to get after Christian, but Isis and Laney have fled the scene and are on their way out. Simons is fucking pissed.

Joey Styles:
This is unbelievable, this place is in complete chaos with all of this cheating and politicing and greed running rampant! Can it get any worse than that corruption?

Larry Sweeney:
Yeah, your wife naked AHAHAHA!

MATCH FOUR
HARDCORE MATCH

Eddie Kingston vs. Nick Gage

While Eddie Kingston mouthed off earlier in the broadcast, Nick Gage was apparently content just lurking in the shadows in silence. Regardless, can he pick up the win? Oh no no no, sorry Timidius, that's not how it works. Oh shit, did I just give away the result?

"For Whom The Bell Tolls" by Metallica hits the arena and Gage walks out to a mostly positive reaction ... and gets blindsided by a trash can wielding-Eddie Kingston. Gage stumbles down to the ring area, as Kingston dents the trash can with another shot to Gage's back. Kingston rests Gage against the steel security railing, rips through his black "Future of Hardcore" shirt, and fires off a series of skin breaking rapid fire chops. Gage drops to a knee while clutching his chest. With Gage vulnerable, Kingston fires off a Yakuza kick to Gage, with an impact that damn near knocks the entire front row out cold. Kingston swipes up the ripped shirt, laughs a smug laugh, wipes his ass with it, spits on it, and rolls Gage into the ring.

Kingston searches the ring area for his weapon of choice and finds himself a lovely lead pipe. Kingston raises the pipe high with homicidal intent, only to be knocked into the steel barricade via a baseball slide from a revitalized Nick Gage. Gage steals Kingston's pipe (lol), hops to the opposite side of the steel barricade, and proceeds to choke the "Last of a Dying Breed" with a psychotic grin upon his face. A blood thirsty fan hands Gage their own chair, hoping to help the probability of bloodshed... and possibly just desperate to get on TV. Whatever the reason, Gage shakes the fan's hand and wallops Kingston with a brutal shot to the tip top of the cranium. Fans pat Gage on the back as he climbs back over the barricade and for the sake of dropping Kingston with a sick DDT. With the momentum on his side, Gage moves the action back into the ring and makes a cover for a one count. Gage goes to continue his offensive input but is interrupted by...

Man's Voice:
BOR-ING! BOR-ING! BOR-ING!

The camera spins revealing CM Punk standing on the stage, a microphone in hand. He's walking down to the ring, speaking as he goes.

Gage turns to the commotion in disbelief, allowing Kingston to send him crashing to the mat with a backdrop driver onto the aforementioned chair.

CM Punk:
Tonight, yours truly is set to go against Kane. The Man O' Fire. The Big Red Retard.

James Mitchell thinks that I'm honestly scared of him. He thinks I'm going to buckle to Kane's power. James, I suggest you take a quick once over yet again at just who you're talking about.

My name is CM Punk. I'm straight edge. It isn't a fad. It isn't a fucking bandwagon. I live my life the way I do because I was born superior to each and every person here.

Gage strikes Kingston with a cookie sheet, as Punk climbs onto the ring apron.

CM Punk:
I've heard you like fire, Kane. What? You're a pyrophiliac? Fire gets you off? Are you sitting in the back watching Rescue 911 spanking it to a house burning down. Hey Kane, look what I've got here!

Punk then pulls a lighter out, and begins to flick it causing the flame to come out. Meanwhile, Kingston drops Gage with a burning lariat and gets a two count.

CM Punk:
I know you've gotta be going crazy at the sight of this, Kane. It's intriguing, isn't it? Getting you excited? Happy? Come on, Kane. Come on out. I know you wanna go after me now. Come on Kane. I fucking dare you.

Kane doesn't emerge from the back, annoying Punk greatly.

Kingston whips Gage into the ropes and catches him with a Capture suplex off the rebound. But Punk quickly turns everyone's attentions back to him.

CM Punk:
What? Are you a coward, Kane? Too scared to face me? I didn't want to have top do this, but you're giving me no choice. You wanna get off? You want some excitement? The boys in the back and I have a really good one for you. Something to really get you go...

The turnbuckles then erupt with fire, scaring the hell out of Punk on the apron and Gage and Kingston in the ring. Punk then looks to the iTron, greatly angered.

CM Punk:
Are you fucking stupid? Are you that damn incompetent? You fuckers were supposed to wait for me. I could've fucking died there? Jesus H. Christ.

The point is, Kane, that tonight, I'm going to destroy you. I am going to beat you down and leave you for dead. And when I'm through, you'll wish you'd just simply burned in the fire. Because with me there is no moment of peace right before you die. There is no shortage of pain. There's only a lifetime of excruciation before you finally slip out of consciousness, and die in terrible, horrible pain. Kane, come out now, and face your judgment. Face your reality. Face the single greatest athlete to ever live. FACE ME!

That tears it! Gage turns to shout some much deserved profanities at Punk, only to allow Kingston to spin him around and hit the Royal Flush. Kingston covers, 1...2...3.

WINNER: EDDIE KINGSTON (PINFALL)

Kingston flips off Punk. Punk shoots off his mouth in retaliation, but before a pre-match fight can break out "Stricken" by Disturbed, accompanied by a loud BOOM! hits the arena, causing Punk to run for cover. James Mitchell leads Kane down to the ring, but Punk is long gone. Kane climbs over the top rope and stares down Kingston as if to say "you better get the hell out of here". Kingston instead tries to knock the "Big Red Machine" down with a burning lariat. Kane, well, merely shrugs of this feeble attempt and drives Kingston to the mat with a Chokeslam, generating quite the pop from the crowd. Punk is in the nosebleeds, laughing his ass off with Kane's utter destruction of Eddie Kingston. But Kane isn't finished, as he grabs the downed Nick Gage by the throat, and sends him ALL THE WAY TO HELL~ with the dreaded Chokeslam. With that, Justice Pain runs out to the ring to aid his brother ... only to run right into a Chokeslam of his own. James Mitchell laughs a devious laugh, as Kane does his trademark fire eliciting taunt. We fade to commercial as Punk stares down the monster all the way from the nosebleeds.

Larry Sweeney:
That bum Kane needs to get his head on straight! Coming out here and causing a ruckus in the middle of the program, what a ridiculous piece of garbage!

Joey Styles:
Are you kidding me??? Kane saves us all from hearing one more word of that disgusting propaganda from Punk and you're complaining about it?

Larry Sweeney:
CM Punk may be a pencil necked pipsqueak, but at least he's got more than one more in his vocabulary...

"Resurrection #9" by Burn the Priest hits the speakers and it seems that it's time for Chris Fallon to head to the broadcast table.

Joey Styles:
Well, fans, here we are joined by the very angry Chris Fallon who wants to ge-

Chris Fallon:
Shut your mouth, Joey, I don't need your introduction and I sure as hell don't need your compliments, so just shove it up your ass and call the damn match.

Sweeney looks over with a huge grin.

Larry Sweeney:
Oh man, Joey, I LIKE THIS GUY HAH-

Chris Fallon:
You shut your dick warmer, Sweeney! If you even look at me one more time, or even BREATHE in my general direction, I'll hit you your big, ridiculous looking head so hard that the little perm you got going on there will straighten out and stand on end, you little faggot!

Now I obviously didn't come out here to make any friends, and I don't care if either of you chair jockeys like it or not! I came out here to get a nice, close look at what's in my future, and that's a match with the Triple Crown champion of the World! That little washed up bitch Razor tries to make a claim to that belt, and so does that talentless, braindead loser Blake Straker... but they had their opportunities and blew them and it's time for somebody else to step up and stake a claim! Hell, even the second rate hack AJ Cross is coming out of the wood work! That son of a bitch is looking to get an easy hand out shot at that belt, but none of them, NONE OF THEM, have worked half as hard as Chris Fallon and none of them will survive my wrath. I'm not going to be waiting around for somebody to give me a shot, I'M GONNA TAKE IT, motherfuckers, pure and simple!

We all know who should really be Triple Crown chaampion right now. And it's not Blake Straker, or AJ Cross, it's me, CHRIS FUCKING FALLON! Remember that name, Rohan, because that is the name of the man who will be taking those title belts from around your waist. Well, that is if Razor doesn't find some way to screw me over again. Seriously, Razor, just stop it. Stop putting on the big "tough boy" act and own up to what you did. You and I both know there is only one reason for it, and that reason is because you knew in your tired, old heart, that had I been in the match, you would not have stood a chance. You know you can't keep up wiht the new breed like me, and that is why you fail. Razor, people like you are the reason I trust nobody in this world, and Call To Arms proved why.

Joey Styles:
Umm, Chris, I hate to be a burden, but could you at least try to stay focussed on the match?

Chris Fallon:
Did I say I was done?

Joey Styles:
Well, no, b-

Chris Fallon:
Then shut the FUCK UP!

Anyway, where was I? Ahh yes, Razor, nobody wants to hear you come on TV, or go on the internet and whine about your problems to everybody else, okay? So you're not Triple Crown champion, if that pisses you off, do what I do: DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! You're not going to get anywhere in life if all you do is hide behind a screen and whine like a pussy! Be a man, take matters into your own hands. That's what I did, and look where I am now! I-

Fallon becomes distracted for a moment, however, as "Lord Give Me A Sign" by DMX hits and Black Jesus makes his way to the ring.

MATCH FIVE
EXHIBITION MATCH

Rohan Malhotra vs. Black Jesus

Black Jesus thinks he's cool, coming in with his dukes up and trying to cold cock Malhotra, but Malhotra dodges the punches coming his way and slaps Black Jesus a few times to the back of the head then takes him down and mounts him and paint brushes his head some more. This is pretty much the theme of this match, as the Triple Crown Champion just pretty much embarrasses Black Jesus on the mat thoroughly.

Black Jesus tries to mount a comeback at like the 5 minute point when Malhotra miscalculates an avalanche in the corner, but Malhotra reverses the seeming attempt at a belly-to-back suplex with a CHICKENWING SUPLEX THAT CRUSHES BLACK JESUS' FUCKING NECK! The fans are impressed by that innovative suplex when all of the sudden...

RAZOR COMES FROM THE CROWD AND ATTACKS CHRIS FALLON AT THE DESK WITH A CHAIR TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! OH, THE HUMANITY!

Razor is really putting it to Fallon at the desk pretty hardcore, blood is coming from his head, when...

A CAR DRIVES FROM THE ENTRANCE WAY AND SPEEDS TOWARDS THE RING! IT APPEARS AS IF SHAHID JUMPS FROM THE DRIVER'S SIDE TO THE FLOOR AND THE FUCKING CAR SMASHES INTO THE RING AND EXPLODES!!!!!!

BLACK JESUS IS BLOWN TO PIECES~!

Uh, well, Rohan and the referee look at each other and neither of them are harmed. Shahid just sort of walks back up the ramp and the fans don't seem to really care. The ring crew hit to try and fix up the mess. Razor is still hitting Fallon with the chair and Sweeney is combing his hair or something, so I mean, meh. Whatever, Black Jesus died.

WINNER: NO CONTEST (R.I.P. BLACK JESUS)

So Rohan walks off with a grin on his face, and just keeps walking as "Blur The Technicolor" by White Zombie hits and out walks "The Lizard King" Blake Straker to the ring, pointing at Razor and making some omenous comments. Razor stops paying attention to Fallon and runs up to Straker and the two come to blows. Razor gets the upper hand and they take it into the ring.

MATCH SIX
EXHIBITION MATCH

Razor vs. Blake Straker

Well, the ring is pretty much put back together... somehow. God's on our side, I guess. This is pretty much a fight from Straker and Razor, here, as both men are just gauging and punching and kicking and aren't really even trying to pretend like they give two shits about technique at this point. Straker was coming out on top pretty handily in the brawl, so Razor had to take things more to his expertise and make this more about ground work. He managed to take Straker down with a drop toe hold after ducking a Bicycle Kick, and started to wear down Blake with a tight looking Ankle Lock. After about 25 seconds of struggle, Blake managed to break free by rolling out, but Razor dropkicked out the basement and went back to work with a half Boston Crab.

Blake managed to make it to the ropes and get things going back his way with some elbows to the gut of Razor. Razor raked the eyes and attempted his Totalschaden kick, but Blake caught that, spun Razor and ran off the ropes and nailed the Sling-Blade! Blake jumped right back up to his feet and waited for Razor to get up... he kicks him... CRAVATE SUPLEX! Blake hooks the leg and tries for the cover, but to no avail.

By this time Chris Fallon has returned to his feet after the brutal beating he took from the hands of Razor. Blake sends Razor off the ropes with an Irish whip and Fallon grabs his leg and trips him! Razor falls face first and Fallon pulls him to the outside and begins to beat him senseless!

The ref has to call for the bell now.

WINNER: NO CONTEST (INTERFERENCE)

Fallon is beating on Razor when Straker runs and baseball slides Fallon and sends him flying into the guardrail and then continues to beat on Razor himself. OUT TO THE RING RUNS AJ CROSS NOW HOLDING A STEEL CHAIR! AJ tries to decapitate Straker with the chair, but Straker ducks and these two start TRADING BLOWS! Straker seems to maybe be getting the upper hand when Razor low blows him!

OUT RUNS ROHAN MALHOTRA! WE GOT OURSELVES A FUCKING BRAWL NOW AND THE FANS ARE GOING NUTS WITH THEIR SOMBRAROS AND WHATEVER THE HELL ELSE THEY DO HERE IN PUERTO RICO! PANDAMONIUM!

Rohan tackles Cross to the ground and begins to punch him wildly, but Fallon is back up and smashes Razor over the head with a chair and then smashes Malhotra to the spine with a chair about three times. Fallon locks on THE DUSKING AND ROHAN IS FEELING THE PAIN NOW! AJ Cross breaks that up with a chair shot to Fallon's head, though, and now it's just Straker and Cross standing now.

Straker is backing up towards Cross, holding his junk after Razor's vicious blow and AJ capitalizes hitting THE DISGRACER TO THE CONCRETE FLOOR! STRAKER IS OUT!

AJ Cross is the last man standing, grinning delivishly over the fallen as we go off the air.