There wasn't much Emily around back before Steven graced my life. I was really struggling with who I was inside. I was deeply scarred by all the horrible things kids can say to you and I got very scared. I caged my feelings, myself in. I denied who I was because if I would go ahead and do what I liked and said what I thought...it wasn't what everyone else liked or thought. I was creative, different, and I didn't see it. I tried to change who I was...and it didn't work so I got very depressed. I was like that for 3 some years. It was a really dark time in my life. I wouldn't talk about it and it eats you away inside. Being unhappy is one of the absolute worst things in life. It scars...but it can make you stronger in the end.
So there was this day, that I sat down to watch the Billboard Music Awards back in 1997. The next band to perform was Aerosmith. I wasn't going to watch because I didn't know who they were, but something stopped me from changing the station. Then the announcer said "Ladies and Gentlemen, Aerosmith!" On the screen came Steven and all his charisma, and the boys went into "Pink". Something...clicked inside. I saw Steven and something happened. I don't know what it was, his voice, his charm, whatever it was, it was right. It all felt sooo right. I saw that dear part of me that was locked away. For those few minutes of "Pink" I was...happy for the first time in a very long time. Steven reached out and captured a piece of my heart with nothing more than exactly who he was...Steven Tyler.
And I realized I had to get out of my cage. He gave me the keys to free myself. I found so much courage, hope, joy and love in the music, in him, that I finally stood up and told myself "Emily, you are who you are. Wild, crazy, loving, creative...there is nothing wrong with that. Why does it matter what others think? It only matters what you think, because if you can't be true to yourself, then life will hold no joy for you because you don't see it for what it really is." And so here I am today. Never again will I try to change myself. NEVER! There are things in life so much more important than a petty thing like that. I am so happy, never have I been happier. I tell everyone I come across how wonderful life is. Today is a beautiful day! You can't get anything in this world without giving it first.
Love is love reflected. And now I'm free.
Steven has touched my soul and given me more than anyone else has. He is with me forever and I know somewhere a little part of me is with him too. I know it is. Maybe someday I can tell him how much he means to me. He is my Angel, my rock star, and the part of me that will always shine.
