My New Hero Timmy!

Hola! Como estas! Sorry, I don't really speak espanol. Just thought I'd trick you. Hey, I'm back!  You can't get rid of me that easily!  I've gpt some things to complain about, but I've got some good stuff to talk about too.

Okay, good stuff first.  I recently caught the Vans Warped Tour and discovered that I love punk rock.  Some of my new favorites are NOFX, MxPx, The Stereo, and some old favorites, Green Day, and the Long Beach Dub All-Stars (The remaning members of Sublime).  Then that same week, I accomplished one of my life long goals.  I saw KISS in concert.  It was the absolute coolest thing I've ever seen.  My ears rang for days!  I also quit my job, which rocks hardcore.

But the best thing that has happened since my last article is I discovered a new hero.  TIMMY!!!!!!  Yes, I now worship the retarded metal god of Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld.  You find someone cooler than him.  You can't do it! Although he can only say one word,  he says it with such power and conviction that you can't help but love him!  I think I'm going to have Joel hit me in the head with a brick so I can be as special as TIMMY!!

TIMMY!!!!!!!!

Okay, now I'm going to bitch and moan.  Once again, I'm attacking another gay ass catch phrase that is the stupidest goddam thing I've ever heard (although wazzup is worse).  My Bad. My fuckin' Bad.  What happened to proper usage of the english language? We have adults talking like mother fucking 3-year-olds!  I'm sorry, just say "my fault" or "I did that".  You say "my bad" and I will seek you out personally and give you an enema with a ten foot tall sharpened stick.  I'm talking all the way through, and with a capsule full of hydrochloric acid that will explode upon entering your ass!!

Now to return to my true hatred.  BOY BANDS MUST DIE!!! I can't say it enough.  It has to happen or our society is going to be destroyed by pimply 11-year-old girls stampeeding to get to the last McDonald's that has the *NSYNC tapes.  That's who I'm attacking this time.  Obviously, all members of boy bands are homosexuals, but this bunch of fags is worse then the rest.  They don't have any talent. None. Nada. Never have, never will.  I could sing better then all of them combined while a squirrel was lodged in my throat and a rabid wolverine was tearing up my balls.  Speaking of balls, they have none.  They're a bunch of eunuchs.  I wish on them a fairly painful death, and moderately slow, because I'm not cruel.  That's why I'm the greatest (well, actually I'm 2nd to TIMMY!!!)

That's all for now.  Catch Y'all later.