GATEWAY TO ETERNITY
1
I hated the rain. I’ve always hated the rain, and sometimes I wonder if Mother Nature always picked the worst times to send her wet messengers to ground below for that very reason. This time it started with a simple sprinkling of raindrops, but within minutes, the rain began falling faster and more frequently. The skies overhead seemed to grow darker and darker with the passing of time, for heavier rains were destined to come.
Slogging across the marshy grass in soaked shoes, I wiped wet, matted hair from my eyes and sighed. Gazing at the clouds through the naked spring branches of leafless trees, I realized there would be no end to this torrential downpour. I was about to sigh again, but I felt a warm hand press itself into mine as raindrops splashed into my eyes. Pulling myself from the sky, I found twin pools of endless blue staring back at me. The rain didn’t seem to bother me anymore. The tears of a thousand angels washed over me as I slowly drowned without care.
“Tell me something, Stephen,” she breathed while staring to the blackened skies, “Why is it that every time we try to spend some time together, something like this happens?” She held up her empty palm to catch some of the falling rain before letting it drain through her fingers to the ground.
I shrugged and remained silent, not sure how to reply.
She playfully ruffled my dampening hair as her smile faded. “Forget it,” she said, shaking her head. “Just forget it. We should just go back anyway, before we both catch a cold,” she added while leading the way.
The cold began seeping into my bones. My teeth began chattering.
She forced a slight smile despite the pouring rain. “Come on,” she breathed with a mischievous smile, “I’ll race you home!”
She took off running, as fast as one might run safely in the rain without falling, and I began to run after her, trying my best to indulge in her little game. Laughing the whole way, she dodged trees and huge puddles of mud while glancing behind her, her long, tangled brown hair trailing in the rainy breeze.
I shook my head and heaved another sigh, following her footprints in the sodden grass. Yet another ruined evening. What else could go wrong?
As if to answer my question, my right foot slipped on a patch of wet grass. Time slowed as I felt my body falling downward over the edge of the small hill. I wanted to yell, but everything happened so fast. I landed face first into a huge puddle of mud and strained for air as the breath was stolen from my lungs. I saw nothing but dark brown as I desperately gasped for air. Wiping mud from my eyes, I found that she was nowhere to be seen.
I yelled as loud as I could to catch her attention. “Jessica!” I fell into a fit of coughing before gasping for air again. “Jessica!” My voice echoed around me, unanswered and unheeded.
Silence followed. The rain continued to pour as I collapsed into the mud puddle, unable to move. My eyes stared in the direction she had gone. I remained there and let the weeping tears of the thousand angels wash over me. She never returned. She never came back.
The angels cried on.
* * *
The rains incessantly pelted the rickety, metal plating overhead. Lying on a threadbare sleeping bag amidst wads of ragged clothes, I closed my eyes once again, but that did nothing to shut out the sounds of the weather. I rolled over, but the rains fell even more rapidly, and the winds blew increasingly harder. Try as I might, sleep would not come. I pulled the covers over my head to drown out the noise, but the thin blanket did nothing to shield my ears from the continual precipitation that was ruining my sleep.
I yawned deeply before rolling over the other way, only to hear another sound being thrown into the mix. A rustling of blankets came from behind. I closed my eyes and rolled back over to face the other direction.
My eyes met a large figure clothed in gray rags, lying atop a thin bedroll no more than a yard from me. His hair was short, gray, unwashed, and balding in places. His face was haggard, worn, and sported a thick, scraggly beard, but his blue eyes held a kind and understanding look about them. Sometimes the elder man reminded me more of a Santa Claus with a few missing marbles than anything else, but at least he was a companion, a body to have around. With his hands laced behind his head as he lay there, he seemed curious.
“Still can’t sleep, huh?” came the gruff whisper in accented English.
“No.”
“Neither can I,” he said. “Rain gets on the nerves sometimes.” He paused, awaiting a response. “Want to talk about anything? Maybe it’ll help settle both of our nerves enough to let us sleep.”
I rolled over. “Not now, Bob,” I breathed through clenched teeth and pulled the blanket over my head.
“Steve, it’s been days,” Bob answered. “I know all that’s gone on these past weeks has been hard on all of us, but something’s really eating at you, my friend.”
He always had the nerve to call me his friend though I barely knew the man. Friend or not, I was in no mood to converse. “Go away,” I mumbled from under the covers.
Thankfully Bob did not want to pursue the matter any further. “Suit yourself, old friend,” he acquiesced, and rolled away from me, attempting to catch some sleep himself.
I sighed as thundering chariots once again rode across the heavens. Maybe… maybe talking with Bob would have made me forget about the rain, just like he said, but then again, talking with Bob might have just made things worse than what they already were. I forced my eyes closed to facilitate the elusive sleep, but my every effort was mocked. The angels lamented as I tried time and again to seek the blessed oblivion.
2
“What?” I shrugged in disbelief. “What on Earth are you talking about?”
She folded her arms and impatiently tapped her foot, all the while regarding me with a disconcerted gaze while composing her thoughts. “Don’t—Stephen, please don’t,” she said. Her hardened eyes lost some of their passion, but she went on nevertheless. “Just let me finish.”
I nodded, desperate to get to the heart of the matter. She was important to me, and anything that concerned her concerned me as well. “Of course.”
She began pacing in front of me on my front porch. Her eyes misted. “Stephen, I don’t know why you’d want to hurt me.”
I shook my head while remaining as calm as possible. “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about out. You know I’d never hurt you on purpose.”
She leaned back against the siding on the porch, giving me a pained look of disapproval. “You say that, but why? How could you do this to me?”
I remained as clueless as ever. “What are you talking about?”
She shook her head. “Why? After all this time… Why my own sister?”
My mouth hung open in shock. ”What? Sharon? Jess, how in heaven’s name could you think such a thing?”
“You’ve always been best friends ever since high school, and the two of you are always being secretive every time she’s home from college.” Her blue eyes welled up as if she would explode into tears at any moment. “How long has this gone on?”
“I can explain—” I began, knowing that no matter how I worded it, my reasons would have the same effect as a single drop of water on a hot griddle.
“Stephen, Sharon's all I've got now, and you know that! How could you do this to me?” She made her way off the porch, ran to the driveway in tears, got in her car and started the engine.
I tried to stop her, but she pulled away from me. I would have explained right then and there, but she couldn’t have heard it over the rumble of her engine. She pulled right off the driveway, intending never to return.
“Of course I can explain,” I whispered to myself, watching her disappear into the darkening evening. I slowly withdrew the small, glittering object I had kept in my pocket and sighed while staring into its flawless, transparent perfection. “Oh, my dear, sweet, beautiful Jessica… Sharon—Sharon has been helping me shop for your engagement ring, and I was going to ask you to marry me tomorrow.”
The sky rumbled overhead as I sat on my porch steps, waiting for her to return.
* * *
The rain was never going to subside. Sleep would never find me. The constant drops from above felt like Chinese water torture, grating on my ears mercilessly without recourse, trying to break my will into submission. From the shattered window in the corner, the sky still held its gray cast. I could not discern whether it was night or day.
Bob did not know either. Every day he sat and stared out that window, hoping for the fabled ray of hope to greet his blue eyes from beyond the horizon. Every day he always said the same thing. "The sun always rises in the east and sets in the west, and nothing can change that except time itself."
But the sun never came. As much as I thought Bob was a little over the rainbow, he kept a very optimistic outlook. Always waiting for the sun. Always sitting by the window at six A.M. every morning waiting for the first burst of light to break through the endless blanket of gray.
The mornings grew exceptionally cold. Even with a blanket wrapped around me, the chill seeped straight into my bones. Our food supply was just about exhausted. We would have to do something soon or else starve to death.
Bob left his usual morning vigil with a grim look on his face. He silently walked over to his personal stash of belongings. Out of a jumble of canvas sacks he produced two long hunting rifles and two green raincoats.
I gulped audibly as he approached with them cradled in his arms.
"The sun's not coming," he declared with a stony gaze, pausing before adding, "We need supplies." He threw me a pack and one of the raincoats. "Here. Put this on."
I pulled the vinyl parka over my head, and as soon as my eyes fell on Bob again, he nonchalantly tossed one of the rifles at me. I stared aghast at the stained wood and metal firearm. "What in the world is this for?" I exclaimed.
Bob pulled his own raincoat on. "Protection," he said simply. "If the sun has left us, then you'll never know what to expect out there."
My eyes never left the rifle resting on my lap. While wondering if I should tell him that I had never used a rifle before in my life, my ears were greeted once again with thunderclaps and the taunting voices of the rain burdened thunderclouds.