smoke3

DISCLAIMER: All hail Joss Whedon, UPN, the WB, FOX , Mutant Enemy and 20th Century Fox Film Corporation. Theirs not mine.

.I think of Drusilla, of the message that she sent me. She knew this would happen. One of her visions, no doubt. She had seen the claiming come to pass, and the affects of it. Most likely, she really did know how to undo it. But what would be her price? �She deserves better than this. It takes too much away from her.� I press a gentle kiss into Buffy�s hair, and stand up. �Tara, I need a smoke break. Can you call me on my cell phone if she wakes up? I�ll be back in a few minutes.�

Tara looks up at me, holding Buffy�s phone. �She�ll probably sleep for a while. She needs her rest. But I will call if anything changes before she gets back.�

Walking through the house, I step out into the bright light of day. The wind rushes around me. It is a beautiful, sunny afternoon, and here I stand. I am surrounded by the glory of a Southern California day. I can�t think of anything I have enjoyed less than this. The price of admission for this moment has come at much too high a cost.

Snapping open my Zippo, I light my cigarette and breathe in deeply. �Spike?� says a small voice.

�Dawn?� I turn and see her peer around a corner. �What are you doing here, love? Xander dropped you at school an hour ago.�

�I couldn�t just sit there not knowing what was happening.� Her long hair blows in the breeze, falling across her trembling lips.

�Niblet, you know that if you ditch school it�s only going to make things harder on Buffy. Give her more things to worry about,� I tell her in my best �parent� voice.

Dawn turns her back to me. Her breath hitches and I realize that I have made her cry. I toss aside my cigarette and wrap her in my arms. �Shh, sweets, its alright,� I say. � I�m a sodding idiot, pay me no mind. I wasn�t trying to make you feel worse. This whole thing�s not your fault.� My throat tightens. �It�s mine.�

�I don�t blame you Spike,� she says earnestly. �I think Xander and Willow are wrong. I know how much you love her. I know you�d never hurt her.�

�But I sure enough did a good job of it.� I kiss her forehead. �Don�t worry, pet. I�ll get this figured out and she�ll be right as rain.�

I lead her into the house. Angel is talking on the kitchen phone. �Yes, we need a California King delivered today. Uh huh. You got any sheet sets? Uh huh? Okay, I�ll make another call for that. Be here by three, I�ll throw in an extra fifty bucks.� He hangs up the phone, making a notation on a large sheet of scribbled notes. �Well, it was handy of Willow to clear out today,� he says. �Cordelia is tired of sleeping on the cot in Dawn�s room and I�m sick of sleeping on the couch. �

�So you�ll be sleeping with Cordy in that nice big bed?� It seems unlikely, but who knows?

He shoots me an exasperated glance. �No, I�ll be sleeping on the other bed that is being delivered. We�re setting up camp down in the basement.� He gives me an appraising look. �It doesn�t look like we�ll be going back to L.A. anytime soon. Which is actually good. With you and Buffy here, it�ll be the last place anyone will look for us. So, Cordy and I are getting comfortable. Buffy had said we could stay as long as we liked. So, we�re going to. Beds, crib, clothes, couch. It�s all coming today.�

Cordelia comes in, carrying Connor�s baby carrier. The baby is wide eyed, sucking happily on a pacifier.

Angel sighs. �I told you, Cordy, I don�t think pacifiers are good for the baby. And he should be in his baby sling. Dr. Sears-�

Cordy holds up her hand. �Stuff Dr. Sears! I�m not buying any of that attachment parenting crap. Dr. Spock was good enough for my parents-�

�What does Star Trek have to do with taking care of a baby?� I honestly don�t see a connection there.

They give me identical glances of infuriation. �Uh, I�d better get back to Buffy,� I mutter.

Dawn and I retreat hastily, leaving Mum and Dad to duke it out downstairs.

Tara is laying crystals around Buffy�s body, waving a smoking stick of sage in the air. A black cauldron next to the bed holds herbs smoldering on the red-hot coals within. �Great mother, hear my plea�� Seeing us, she waves us out of the room.

Dawn looks up at me. �There doesn�t seem to be anything for me to do.� Her face is tight with strain. �I can�t deal with this, Spike. I need things to stay the same. I�m tired of everything being up in the air all the time. I just want something normal.�