old5

He helped Buffy up, as she lurched unsteadily in her heels. �Whee,� she said loudly. �I�m weeble wobbly.� He smiled down at her.

Angel peeled bills off a roll and threw them down on the table. Cordelia sank back her glass of bubbly and grabbed her wrap. Angel placed it gently around her shoulders as the group walked outside.

�It is such a pretty night,� said Tara. �The stars are so clear, and you can smell the ocean from here.� Spike helped her into the truck and then placed Buffy into the passenger seat. Angel helped Cordy step inside the massive vehicle.

�As the designated driver, I am responsible for your welfare,� intoned Spike. �Everybody buckled up?�
As everyone shouted their assent, he took off. �Let�s put the pedal to the metal.� He drove very fast, but in perfect control of the big truck. �I love this thing, Buffy,� he told her. �It�s got a lot of kick to it.� He smiled over at her, grinning wickedly.

�Yeah, that�s true. Enjoy trying to parallel park it, though,� said Buffy.

A short drive later, Spike pulled into the very first space on the end of the lot at the Bronze. �The parking gods have smiled upon me,� he joked.

They went into the club and sat down at their reserved table. �Can I fetch you some drinks, ladies?� the blonde offered.

�More champagne,� said Cordelia. �Keep it coming.�

�Your wish is my command.� Spike went over to the bar.

�Buffy?� said a voice. She turned around and saw Xander.

�I really don�t want to fight any more,� she said unsteadily. �I�m having fun, with friends. People I love, who haven�t stabbed me in the back lately.�

He looked down at her, his eyes earnest. �Please, Buff. I don�t want to fight either. I just want to talk.�

She got up very carefully. �OK, let�s talk.� Wobbling slightly, she followed him upstairs. Angel turned to Cordelia. �Why don�t we go dance?�

�I thought you didn�t dance,� she said. He gave her an appreciative look, admiring her and her strapless dress. �For you, I�ll make an exception.� She placed her hand in his with a smile as they walked to the dance floor. Angel was glad of the slow love song that gave him an excuse to pull her close.

Tara sat alone at the table, looking a little lost. She drummed her fingers on the table, absently looking around. Her face brightened when Spike appeared. He was laden with champagne in a metal bucket of ice, four flutes precariously pressed to his chest. He placed them down on the table, then opened the bottle with a small pop. �Where�s the rest of our little party?� he asked as he poured Tara a glass.

�Angel and Cordy hit the dance floor.� Tara paused slightly. �Bu-bu-buffy went off to talk to Xander.�

He tensed up and scanned the crowd. �Xander is here?�

She grabbed his wrist. He looked down angrily. �They�ve been friends a long time, Spike,� said Tara calmly. �If they can work this out, it would be good for both of them.�

Upstairs, Buffy sat with Xander, Anya and Willow. �We are so worried about you, Buffy,� said Anya. �We just want to make sure you�re okay.�

�Well, I�m not okay,� said Buffy shakily. �My best friends aren�t even talking to me, so how can I be okay?�

Willow looked at her, pain in her eyes. �Buffy, you know that we love you. But we can�t stand seeing you throw your life away on someone who isn�t even alive.�

Buffy pointed a wobbling finger at her friend. �You don�t understand, Willow. Spike is the person who saved my life.� She took a moment as she attempted to find focus. �I died,� she said, �to save all of you. I was in heaven, and I was so happy. I was at peace, content.�

She bit her lip as she held back tears. �When you all made your decision, and yanked me out, I was so lost.� She looked up and made eye contact with each of them. �You all saw how out of it I was when I came back. All I wanted was to die again. Dawn stopped me from ending my life. But it was Spike who made me live it.�

She pressed her shaking hands together, and hid them in her skirt. �When I saw him for the first time, I saw in his eyes how much he loved me. And I felt it too. I knew I loved him, that I�d loved him even before I died. When he looked at me, it was like a magnet to steel. It pulled me in. It kept me here, kept me strong. When I wanted to cut my wrists, or hang myself, or overdose on pills, I went to him. He�s the only reason I�m still alive.� Her voice broke, and she choked back a sob.

Xander�s eyes were full of sorrow and guilt. Willow�s tears ran down her face, unchecked. �I couldn�t tell him that I loved him. I knew it was wrong. I knew you all would hate it. I knew all the reasons why he wasn�t worthy of me.� Buffy smiled bitterly. �I was Saint Buffy, up on my pedestal, keeping the evil vampire in his place.� She paused for a second. �And even when I made love to him, when we became lovers, I stayed on that pedestal. I didn�t give him so much as a grain of affection. It was too close to the truth.�

Buffy looked up into Xander�s eyes. �Anya saw us together. I was horrified, ashamed that you all would learn my little secret. And so I threw Spike away.� She looked at Willow. �He tried to kill himself. He nearly died. That�s why Angel and Tara helped me with the ritual. I begged them to. I told them that if Spike died, I�d kill myself.� She stared at them, her eyes a hard, dark green. �It was the truth.�

Xander leaned forward. �But how can he mean that much to you, Buffy? How can one person mean the difference between life and death?��He�s my heaven,� she said softly. �Being with him, it�s being back in heaven.� Willow�s sobs rang out. Buffy went to her. They rocked together, crying. Xander wrapped his arms around them. Anya placed her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder. The four friends rocked back and forth, moving as one.

Down on the dance floor, Spike and Tara danced, moving gracefully. �I�m really glad that you�re my friend,� he said. She looked up at him, surprised. �You saved my life, healed Buffy. You went toe to toe with the Scoobies, even though I know it hurt you.� He looked down at her, his eyes sparkling. �Plus, now you�ll dance with me. And I can see all the way down your dress.� Taken aback, she looked downward. �You cannot, you creep!� she said with a flush, as he howled with laughter. She smacked him lightly, laughing herself, as they continued their dance.

Across the room, Cordelia and Angel swayed together. Her head rested gently on his shoulder. His hand was splayed widely across her bare back, touching as much of her as possible. They were lost in each other, held in a moment of rare peace.

-TBC-