found4

"Go ahead and say whatever you want then," I replied. "I was never ashamed to tell everyone the truth."

"What the hell is going on?" asked Xander. "Either of you want to fill me in?"

"Spike dumped me for Tara," she said flatly.

"Not quite, Goldilocks. You could at least be truthful about it if you want to come clean."

"I gave you everything I had to give, and you threw me away," she said painfully. "Is it because I never let you drink my blood? Because I never let you use me like that?"

I clenched my fists in frustration. "You know exactly why we broke up, Buffy. Do you want to rehash it in front of your little friends?"

"That was just an excuse," she said angrily. "You made a big deal out of nothing."

"You pummeled my face in," I retorted. "It didn't feel like nothing to me."

"So you use Tara as your rebound girl? Because she's nice and pliant, and lets you screw her and drink her blood?" she said. "One stop shopping: sex toy and tasty treat."

"This is pointless. I'm not going to stand here and argue with you." I leaned in close and stared in her eyes. "Just do me a favor and leave Tara alone. You got a problem with me, you deal with me." I left the club. Clem and Lia stood outside. "Where's Tara?"

"She said that she wanted to be alone," Lia said. "She took the car."

"You guys okay to get home?" I asked.

"We'll walk," she replied. "Call us and let us know when you find her."

****

I walked through Sunnydale, following her scent. I found her in the parking lot behind her dorm. She sat on the hood of the DeSoto, twirling the key chain on her fingers. "Hello, baby," I said softly.

She looked up at me, and she had been crying. "I'm not sure that I can do this anymore, Spike."

My stomach hurt. I swallowed heavily. "Can't do what, Tara?" I asked, my voice coming out nearly normal.

"Go on feeling like I'm a consolation prize, like I'm the runner up," she replied. "Like what we have isn't special." She paused. "I'm nobody. I'm not the Slayer. I'm just a girl."

I sat down next to her and took her hand. "You're not just a girl. You're my girl."

"If Buffy hadn't hurt you, you'd still be with her."

I sighed. "Look pet, we can't go through this thing about Buffy every time we run into her. We live in Sunnydale. We're bound to run into her all the time."

She began to cry. "I'm so afraid. I'm so afraid that one day you'll see me, the real me, and you won't want me any more."

"Tara," I said soothingly. "Why would you think that?"

"I get angry, I get sad, I get bossy. The people that I love get mad. They try to change me, and they can't. So they hurt me."

"I'll never, ever hurt you, love. I'm not your dad, or your brother. I'm not Willow." I kissed her forehead. "And you're everything I ever wanted, everything a woman should be. You're second best to no one."

She looked up at me, and her blue eyes shone bright. "I wish I could believe that."

I lifted her in my arms and carried her to our room. "I'll just have to convince you then."

-TBC-