"What’s that you say?"

I’m useless without you.

Why?

You can’t think of anything positive to say about me, can you? You don’t know why you want to be with me. You just want sex.

No. That’s not true. I love your mind (holds in laugh while feigning concern).

Really… Like what?

Well…like when you say that life is beautiful and has to be lived to the fullest. That’s really…deep. You know what I’m saying, right.

No, I think you’re making fun of me.

Why would I make fun of you? What could I possibly have to gain?

Nothing. But you like to see me feel bad.

Are you crazy? Of course not. I can’t stand to see you feel bad because than I’m trying to find out what I did wrong that made you feel that way. And you’re little comments don’t help the situation.

What little comments?

The little comments that make feel like I’m not pleasing you. That makes me want to take my head off cause I don’t know what’s going on. The one that says "Hey".

You know how little you can feel when you don’t know what the fuck is going on or what, if anything, you did wrong. but you have that power. All women have that power. You intimidate with it. It makes a man feel like he’s an idiot, you know.

Men are idiots. All you think about is sports, and ass and fucking…

All women think about is shopping, and "is my ass too big?" and fucking. Hey you love to fuck!

That’s what you like to think. It’s actually the best way to get you to go to sleep.

So you’re using sex as a weapon.

It’s the best we have. Hard to turn down.

See. That’s what I mean. You manipulate men. You weaken us with your comments, than we don’t know if you’re being pleased…you fake orgasms. .how can we handle that shit…that’s why we wind up not caring, not worrying about pleasing you. When I was young there was nothing more intimidating but at the same time curious than oral sex. I would go down on a girl in sec. Love the taste of it…but now you make me feel like your slave and I can’t stand to go down because I feel I’m being used, that I’m your underling.

And so the truth comes out. Of course you are my underling, nothing you say or do can change that fact. You can’t leave me because you’ll carry me with you everywhere you go and you’ll hear my voice criticizing you. There’s nothing you can do about it. It’s just the way things are. There’s no way out of it.

What about separation, divorce? It hits women just as hard.

Well, that’s more because a link was broken somewhere and we want to know what went wrong. Woman is not obsessed with a particular man per se, just with the fact that he escaped the grasp of her influence. A man like that must be stopped before he shares his secrets, before he becomes aware and intimates on the super powers he may have. We usually reserve our best for men like that. The ones who get it all at separation. And leave a man wagging his tail between his legs afraid of ever approaching another woman specially if she is half his age.

So are you saying that you love me but you don’t love me?

Sure.

Which is it?

Exactly.

C’mon!!!!!

You see. You roll in the web, it’s hard to get untangled.

That’s why you can’t stand sports. Your influence is not felt there.

Well, maybe but at least we know you’re not going out, that you are slaves to the game and to your stupid manly games of up showing each other. Half the men in the world can’t measure up so they fake their manliness with flashy sports and screams. Make believe warriors.

You think that? Really?

Yeah. Why not?. Why wouldn’t I think that?

Because it’s not true.

Yeah right!

Yeah right? Of course you forget about female competition. The biggest diamonds, the best dressed, the best ass.

The best man.

The best man?

Sure. We compete to see who gets the guy with the best job who’s at least good looking. The rest we make-up, you know about your performance.

You tell each other that?

Yeah.

But you swear us to secrecy and you tell each other that?!?

Of course. Like I tell my friends about your size (laughs and snorts) just to see the envy in their eyes and I see them checking you out when they come over trying to see if it’s true. But they can’t tell. Then I’ll look at you and wink at them and do that thing you like that turns you on and makes you twitch a little and …

No. That’s for show.

Of course. Why else would I lower myself like that if not to impress my friends. I don’t want to impress you . I already get what I want from you.

Oh, you’re slick, You are a conniving _!

Bitch. Most women are. You see deep down women know what they want, they also know they can’t get it from men. Before you know it we have kids and they fill up our time and you become jealous. Men are jealous of the attention their own kids receive. That’s why a lot of them hold out or the kids become excuses to save the marriage or ruin it. A lot of men can’t stand the competition with the kids for the woman’s attention.

What about the other woman?

She’s in on it too. It’s a way of keeping you satisfied and thinking you’re on top of the game. Of course if it gets to where she tries to take you away then we intervene and sabotage the situation. We let you know that we knew all along and we bring up that word, Trust. And you feel like shit.

Women can’t really be like that?

Well, I guess you’ll never know will you?

C’mon.

We can’t give you all our secrets. We already have enough dealing with the crap from you guys. Dealing with your insecurities and inadequacies. Being your second mother and a lover at the same time. It takes a lot to do those things. It takes a lot. You guys are babies who want to play tough but love to be pampered and waited about. Frankly you are not worth the time or the trouble. But we can’t go through life alone.

What about lesbians then?

Well, they are women who won’t settle for second best. They need another person just as special and important as them, not inferior. Not second rate. The only one qualified is another woman. There’s no way out of that one.

That’s not true.

Well, I guess you’ll have to go through life wondering about it.