Fear Abuse victims are often afraid, and not only of their abuser. They may be afraid of telling anyone about their abuse. They may be afraid of losing the trust of a friend or relative if they tell them.The fear experienced by a sexual abuse victim is very deep and very real. Fear can be triggered by a wide variety of situations, comments and actions. Innocent comments made by friends or relatives, newspaper articles, television items, a knock at the door, the telephone, a sound, a smell......can all trigger the onset of fear in a victim, sometimes to the point of creating a panic attack. The victim may not know why they are afraid...and fear it self can be a fear. Panic Attacks Picture this, your walking through a crowd of people, at a party, shopping, work, school.....and all of a sudden you feel short of breath, you notice your heart is racing and your sweating. You begin to feel scared and wonder what is happening to you. Are you having a heart attack? Are you going to die? These are questions millions of people ask themselves at one time or another. The biggest question is "what's wrong with me"? The first time you experience a panic attack, you may go to the doctor, only to be told there's nothing physically wrong. So you try to reason with yourself: "if nothing is wrong with me, then i'll just try to stay calm and the panic attacks will go away." But it seems the harder you try, the more frequently they return. You may develop phobias, unreasonable fears of flying or lifts or crossing bridges, work, school, anything. You might even develop the most serious panic disorder, a fear of fear itself otherwise known as agoraphobia. This is the most severe a phobia that keeps you imprisoned in your home, afraid that if you go outside you will have another panic attack. Here are some symptoms of anxiety: 1. Often feeling tired even though You have had a good night's sleep. 2. Your heart seems to race out of control even though the doctor says you dont have a heart problem. 3. Insomnia 4. Bouts of backache that hit for no apparent reason. 5. Indegestion, diarrhea, or headache frequently keeping you from functioning at your best. 6. Hyperventilating 7. Feeling like your falling to pieces 8. Noticing that certain situations make you feel extremely nervous. 9. Feeling like you are going crazy Loneliness Naturally, an abuse victim may feel extremely lonely, even in a crowded room. A victim's friends or close relatives may not be able to see this loneliness, and that can make the loneliness even more difficult to bear. The pain and suffering a sexual abuse victim experiences is not visible to others. It is in their mind and in their heart. For a victim, learning to regain control of themselves can take some time, but it is an integral part of the healing process. Guilt To someone who has not been abused, this may seem difficult to understand, but sexually abused people often feel guilty. An abuser may condition his/her victim into beleiving that what is happening is their own fault. A victim who has been brought up to understand the difference between right and wrong may feel that they should be able to do something to stop the abuse, but because they cannot, thay may feel guilty. If this is how you feel, please understand that although this a natural reaction, you have no need to feel guilty. Your abuser is the only guilty party. You have done nothing wrong! - and your abuser has made you feel guilty in order to protect himself/herself from detection. Worthless Because of the nature of the suffering, a sexual abuse victim may feel worthless and/or dirty. This is quite natural, but not justified. Often these feelings may be encouraged by the abuser because it makes his/her victim weaker and easier to control, but the truth is that it is the abuser who is worthless and dirty. If you are a victim, please believe that you are a valuable member of the human race and you have done nothing to be ashamed of. Believe it, because it is true! Helpless Intimidated by an abuser, a victim may feel helpless, having been told that all kinds of awful things will happen if they tell anyone. If you feel like this, be aware that you have a right to live in safety and without abuse. Often the reactions an abuser has predicted do not materialise, and people will listen to you and believe you. It may be very difficult for you to tell someone, because your abuser has made you believe that it would not help you. If you can not tell someone you know, then tell a stranger. If you feel that you cannot do anything to help yourself, get someone else to help you. You deserve to be free of your abuser, and the power of God is on your side! |
| Whatever your feelings, you are not alone... |