Disclaimer: we don’t own the Teletubbies or Timmorn Yellow Eyes or Elfquest. We just own Jobee, Arie and Jim!
Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to the HappyHouse chibi sisters theatre. Tonight we are watching our two favorite chibi sisters explore and discuss the necessity of stuffed animals. From a safe distance of 20 miles away, we can witness my trustee assistant, Jim, carefully placing the stuffed animals just outside the entrance to the chibi sisters’ home. Now Jim is tiptoe-ing away from the creatures’ habitat.
“Halt! Stop! In the name of puppies and christmas… and stuff!” comes the shrill warcry from the chibi Arie. Jim now begins to run at top speed, aprehended by the chibi Arie’s enormous beartrap. No longer able to escape, poor Jim is in the clutches of the chibis.
Disturbed by her sister’s racket, the chibi Jobee emerges from their humble abode to investigate. She stumbles upon the stuffed animals we forced Jim to place at their doorstep. After getting up and brushing herself off, she ingores the cries for mercy from Jim and pickes up a stuffed animal. “Arie! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaariieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” she calls. Arie laughs evilly as her giant crab binds Jim with mountain-climbing ropes. Her green eyes shimmered with evil (yes, with evil). Jobee shrugged and went back to ignoring her sisters dasterdly deeds. Then she picked up a second stuffed animal and started playing with them.
“Hi, Mister Blue bunny, my name’s Mister Red bunny. What’s your name? Hi Mister Red bunny, I’m Mister Blue bunny. Nice to meet you, Mister Blue bunny!” the chibi Jobee mumbles to herself as Arie straps Jim into a chair in a room full of giant televisions.
“NO!!! Not the tubbies! Anything but the tubbies!” Jim wails helplessly as Arie holds up a TV tape labeled, “Teletubbies Marathon.” Her grin does not last, since she cannot find the VCR. So, she carefully checks under each of the 344 TV screens, looking for the precious machine of doom.
“Joooooobeeeeeeeeeeeee! Where’s the VCR?” the once proud, always loud, now whimpering Arie wails. Behind her, Jim is quivering with fear and pain, because his long, amber braid got caught in the mountain-climbing ropes. His usually normal tan skin is flushed with green at the thought of being subjected to the Teletubbies Marathon. Did I mention his georgous lashes and drop-dead sexy body? Ahem, anyway… where were we? Ah yes! Arie has no VCR. Is Jim saved? It appears not, for Jobee pulls a VCR out of hammerspace and tosses it toward the whining chibi known as Arie.
“OWIEE! Oooooowieee Jobee, you MEENYHEAD!” Arie wails some more as the VCR bounced off her forehead, nose, and to the ground. “IT’S broken!” she yells. The VCR lies on the ground, undamaged. Arie finally looks at it. “Oh dude! It’s not broken. Yay!” she giggles.
“NOOOOOOO!” Jim cries in his saucy tenor voice. Suddenly, the techno-freak sound of a bad singer carrying on about being blue fills the air. Arie gleefully starts singing along in her best imitation of a drowning ferret on caffiene. Enormous speakers appear from hammerspace on either side of Jim’s head, blaring the over-played techno-pop song. To our great surprise, it is at that very moment that Arie notices the gentle, fuzzy stuffed toys at her feet.
“Oh dude! They’re fuzzy,” she grins, dropping the evil video and sitting on the ground next to Jobee. She picks up a cute little furry white dog and hugs it for a minute, than dismantles the thing piece by piece with the use of her teeth and over-grown fingernails. Bits of white fluff float through the air. Arie goes through more of the stuffed animals, looking for another one suitable for destruction, only the cutest will do. Her face lights up in a broad smile as she locates not good enouph for dismemberment, but much better.
“It’s a TIMMORN YELLOW EYES plushie! It’s the only one I couldn’t find!” she jumps for joy and flings open the door to her outdoor closet, revealing her elaborate Elfquest shrine. Down the center is a small stepladder with a stuffed elf on each step. She spins around, changing into her robes and crown, then ceremoniously drapes a silk cloth and candles at the foot of the shrine. She lights the candles and incense, careful not to light her robes in the process. All goes silent as she carefully walks the plushie up each step to it’s rightful place. Everyone watches with baited breath at the rare occasion. Out of the blue, the Arie turns towards the camera. Could she possibly have noticed it? It appears so, for her eyes are turning red and her already too long fingernails grow into ferocious claws. Her fangs drip with venom as she approaches the bush we used to hide the camera. She starts with a low growl, then roars as she pounces on us! I mean, the camera. Good god! She’s frightening! Wait! Wait, no! The screen goes blank. Will we ever see the end of the plushie initiation ceremony? How does chibi Jobee feel about all this? What happened to the techno music? What happened to Jim?!?!?!?!? Find out in our next exciting episode of HappyHouse chibi sisters theatre. ‘till then, ta ta!