Golf Jokes


(1)Hole in One! (2)THE RULES OF BEDROOM GOLF



Hole in One!

A rabbi received a beautiful new set of golf clubs but it was the Sabbath. He decided to sneak out and play anyway.
St. Peter saw this and said to God, "Look at him. He is playing on your day. You should punish him." God said, "Okay, watch."
The Rabbi lined up, hit the golf ball, and made a perfect hole in one!
St. Peter said, "What kind of punishment is that?" To which God replied, "Who is he going to tell?"
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THE RULES OF BEDROOM GOLF


 1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one
    club and two balls.
 
 2. Play on the course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
 
 3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and
     keep the balls out of the hole.
 
 4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course
     owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
 
 5. Course owners have the right to restrict the length of the club to
     avoid damage to the hole.
 
 6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as are
      necessary  until the course owner is satisfied that play is 
      complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission 
      to play the hole again.
 
 7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately
     upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will take time 
     to admire the entire course, with special attention to well formed
     bunkers.
 
 8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have
      played or are currently playing to the owner of the course 
      currently being played.  Upset course owners have been known
      to damage a players equipment for this reason.
 
 9. Players are encouraged to bring appropriate rain gear.
 
 10. Players should assure themselves that their match has been
       properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being
       played for the first time. Previous players have been known to 
       become irate to discover that someone else is playing what they 
       consider to be a private course.
 
 11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all
        times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the hole
        temporarily under repair. Players are cautioned to be extremely
        tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find 
        alternative means of play when this is the case.
 
 12. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission 
       before attempting to play the back nine.
 
 13. Slow play is encouraged, however players should be prepared
       to play at a faster pace at the request of the course owner.
 
 14. It is considered outstanding performance to play the same hole
     several times in one match, time permitting.
 
 15. The course owner shall be the sole judge of who is the best
         player.
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