| Theater Light Bulb Jokes |
| How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? All of them. One to do it, and the rest to talk about how much better they could have done it. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? None. Just complain to the director at notes. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? None. Doesn't the stage manager do that? How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? Nobody knows. They can never find their light. How many stage managers does it take to screw in a... Done. How many stage managers does it take to change a light bulb? I DON'T CARE!!! JUST DO IT!!! How many stage managers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Where's IATSE? How many stage managers does it take to change a light bulb? It's on my list... IT'S ON MY LIST... How many assistant directors does it take to change a light bulb? One, but he/she has to check with the director first to make sure he/she wants it there. How many directors does it take to change a light bulb? Well...um...what do you think? How many lighting techs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Nothing happens on that $#@*ing side of the stage anyway! How many designers does it take to change a light bulb? Does it have to be a light bulb? How many playwrights does it take to change a light bulb? Change? Why does it have to change? No change, it's perfect just the way it is. How many directors does it take to change a light bulb? None. Give a note to the stage manager to fix it! How many stage managers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Pull the technical director off a set installation to deal with it. How many technical directors does it take to change a light bulb? None. Call the master electrician at home to fix it. How many master electricians does it take to change a light bulb? We don't change bulbs, only halogen lamps. It's a Props problem. How many props masters does it take to change a light bulb? Light bulb?! When did they even get a lamp? How many theater critics does it take to change a light bulb? All of them. One to be highly critical of the design elements, one to express contempt for the glow of the lamp, one to lambaste the interpretation of wattage used, one to critique the performance of the bulb itself, one to recall superb light bulbs of past seasons and lament how this one fails to measure up, and all the join in the refrain reflecting on how they could build a better light bulb in their sleep. How many theater students does it take to change a light bulb? Uh, what's the deadline, 'cause i may need an extension. How many audience members does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to do it, one child to cry, and to say loudly, "ROSE, HE'S CHANGING THE LIGHT BULB." How many interns does it take to change a light bulb? Doesn't matter because you'll have to do it again anyway. How many producers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Why do we need another light bulb? How many IATSE guys does it take to change a light bulb? One, once he puts down the donut and coffee. How many IATSE guys does it take to change a light bulb? Twenty-five, and a minimum of four hours... you got a ^$%#ing problem with that? How many lighting designers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Where's my assistant? How many high school theater students does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, if they can find a lamp big enough and figure out how to get inside it. How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? Lamp! It's called a LAMP, you idiot! |