| o | I am notoriously horrible at keeping in touch with people, mostly because of my horrid social skills. For the better part of this, I don’t care. I don’t have any particular desire to keep in touch with most people because I’m simply not a social person. However, there are a few people I want to talk to and I simply don’t because I feel like I have nothing worthwhile to say or because I’m too lazy to say it, some because I’m afraid to talk.
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| o | Some of them are family. Some old friends that once held a deep sense of hate for me and I would like to rectify it. The following people have made the list so far:
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| - | Kristin. My cousin on my dad’s side. She’s always tried to keep in touch with me and I’ve been horrible at putting up like effort. Partly I feel like I have very little in common with her and wouldn’t have anything interesting to say. But I have a feeling she would just like to have an interested third party to listen to some of the things in her life. So we’re going to have to go ahead and chalk this one mostly up to laziness.
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| - | Grandma and Grandpa. My dad’s side. They just like to hear from anyone and it’s ridiculous of me to be satisfied with the three times of year I get to communicate with them because they’re amazingly cool people. Part of me doesn’t believe I have anything intresteing to say—they surely don’t want to hear about my problems with Brian… my parents barely want to hear about that—but again, communication mostly lags because I’ve been lazy and forgetful.
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| - | Grandma. My mom’s side. I know I don’t have anyting worthwhile to say. I see her once, maybe twice a year, so it’s hard to know where to start on what to tell her. I’d be seding her letters ten pages long just to keep her updated on my life. But I still need to be sending birthday and holiday correspondence. There’s no reason I can’t offer that much, because, again, she is a wonderful grandparent and always remembers me on my birthdays and holidays even though she has tons of other grandkids to think about.
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| - | Brent. By god, where do I start with this one? This is my high school and early college ex-boyfriend whose respect and friendship I am apparently obsessed with regaining. I can already tell you that I'll probably fail entirely on this one. We, after nearly four years, are just at the point of distant comments on journals, which is probably entirely fine with him. He's got a wonderful set of friends and he's soon to be married, so he probably doesn't think twice about me. But I suck at making friends and he still stands, in my mind, as one of the best friends I ever had (we've known each other since I was ten)--we could talk endlessly about music, books, tv, movies, philosophy, etc. etc. etc. We had incredibly similar tastes, and I need a friend like that. So what's the problem? I'm scared. I don't want to impinge on his life. I don't want to be that annoying ex you can't get rid of. I'm afraid that I'm only trying to be friends to make up for what happened between us (though I'm pretty sure I'm not). I don't want to piss off Val, though I don't know how I would. I don't want the promise to be friends again to be empty. I really don't want someone who impacted so much of my personal taste in everything to disappear completely from my life... I'm way to dramatic about this. How much more socially stunted can I be. Meh. Anyway, I won't have made any headway with this by 2007 because I'm scared shitless.
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| o | Pretty paltry list at the moment. Hopefully I'll remember some more likely friends to look up, ones that actually want to hear from me. But, until then, these are the four points of focus.
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| o | By December 31, 2006, I will have been in contact with these people at least once a month, every month.
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