Wufei's Existential Blues
(a silly filksong snippet)
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Existential Blues was sorta written by T-Bone Stankus.
The Wizard of OZ movie is the property of MGM studios.
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This is dedicated to all of those who remarked about a Wizard of
OZ/GW fusion. It's not *quite* what you wanted but...
BTW, the song is being sung by Wufei, just to let you know.
"I was on a quest
//(walking down the road all day, doo dah doo dah)//
I was walking down the road, I was looking for the truth of life,
when I came across all these little people (little people little
people little people) all around me.
They looked up at me and said "Hey, Mister, are you tall."
"I said 'Yes' I'm tall who are you weird little wonders?"
They looked up at me with their big, red, bloodshot eyes and
sang:
//We are Relena's fan club, Relena's fan club, Relena's fan club//
//We are Relena's fan club. We wanna welcome you to Peacecraft
Land.//
"I said "Hey, weird little wonders, I'm on a quest
//(walking down the road all day, doo dah doo dah)//
"I'm looking for truth of life, where do I go, who do I see?"
They said, "Slow down, in order to find the truth of life, one must
see the wizard."
"I said the wizard? Where does this wizard live?"
"They said "you see that big green glow and that dark house on the
hill?"
"I said, yes, I see that big green glow and that dark house on the
hill. There's a big dark forest between me and that big green glow
and that dark house on the hill. Some insane pilot in spandex
shorts on a hoover vacuum cleaner going "I'll get you, my pretty! And
your puppy, too!"
"I don't even have a puppy."
Such predicaments... I must forge ahead.
//(walking down the road all day, doo dah doo dah)//
But I said, "look guys, I can handle you see that big green glow and
that dark house on the hill, I can handle the deep dark forest, I can
handle the pilot in spandex. But this is a very strange guy you want
me to follow. I've met guys with braids before but never quite this
long...."
//Duo tries to sing the Wizard of Oz medley appropriate to this
part of the original song but is unable to do so due to the fact that
he has been tied to a chair and gagged by Wufei//
"Well, I get a little bit tired of listening to that braided baka, so
I pull over and lo and behold there's a field of"
-cue echoing witch voice-
(Chibis, chibis, chibis, etc.)
"So decided to just lie down and get some rest, and that old wizard
is gonna have to wait, cause I'm just gonna lie down here in this
field of
(Chibis, chibis, chibis, etc.)
"Just then a man comes driving up to me in a large expensive car. A
tall man with long pale hair tokin' a bottle of cold turkey. I said,
old man don't bother me (Chibis, chibis, chibis, etc.)."
He said "Wufei."
"I said... //wait a minute, he knows my name. he must be the
wizard.//
"I said wizard, oh wise one, I've been on a quest"
//(walking down the road all day, doo dah doo dah)//
"I've been looking for the truth of life...
he said "slow down, cause to tell ya the truth... "
I said that's what I came to find."
He said "No, son, you got me all wrong. I've been in this field of
chibis a long time, myself. And I've come to find that the only truth
in life is in this bottle."
I said "Wizard!"
He said. "No, truly. In fact, I'd rather have this bottle in front of
me than a frontal lobotomy!"
-----Owari-----