Trowa's Darling Shi-ko (formerly "untitled Trowa Fic")

-----part 1-----

Trowa closed his eyes, tears flowing from them as knelt before the four graves of his closest friends.

"I'll never forgive those bastards." He vowed. "Never in a million years."

He wandered the streets for months, not caring if he lived or died. As he walked, he thought back to when it had started.

First the phone calls had come, taunting and cruel. Duo had been the target, though he'd hidden the true nature of the calls behind a veil of feigned happiness which, unfortunately, had worked all too well...

....until Heero had found Duo lying sprawled across his bed with an empty bottle of sleeping pills in his hand. When he'd intercepted the next call, he found out the true nature of the calls. He'd cursed himself for days, for not realizing that Duo was in pain. The caller had then laid a bombshell on him. Until just a week ago, Duo had been pregnant.

"What do you mean he *had been* pregnant?" But Heero knew already.

That's when the caller dropped the fatal strike. Duo had had an abortion.

Heero had felt stunned and hurt at that news. He'd loved Duo and Duo hadn't loved him back enough to keep their baby. As his world shattered around him, Heero got into his car and drove it off a cliff, pausing only to write a suicide note explaining everything so Trowa and Quatre wouldn't blame themselves.

Trowa and Quatre had already known about the abortion. Duo hadn't said anything to Heero because Duo himself was still very upset about it and hadn't gotten over the loss. They hadn't wanted Heero to rush off mad and say something hurtful to Duo.

"Heero, if only you came to us when you found out, we would've told you the truth about it." Trowa told Heero's grave. "Duo didn't have an abortion because he hated you or the baby. The doctors performed an emergency abortion to save his life. He was experiencing an entopic pregnancy." 

With just three of them remaining, Wufei and Quatre had fallen in love. Trowa had been happy for them. It had been both touching and spirit-lifting when Wufei had proposed to Quatre. Quatre had readily accepted and the two had wed in a private ceremony that overlooked the graves of Heero and Duo. The reason for the location was that Wufei and Quatre felt it was the closest they could come to having their two departed friends present at the wedding.

A terrorist bomb on the transport they were taking to their honeymoon destination ended the lives of Chang Wufei and Chang Quatre thirty minutes after they'd exchanged vows.

Now it was only Trowa. As he wandered the streets, looking for a way to die, he began to hear rumors of a time machine. If such a thing existed...

He had to find it. If he did, he could go back and stop the events that had caused the deaths of his closest friends.

It took a while, but he found it. He set the controls and was starting to go back in time when OZ troops and a band of rebels rushed in, each determined to own the machine. The weapon's fire had struck the machine and had caused it to go back to a time other than the one Trowa had set.

The man who'd found him was quite handsome. Trowa found himself bewitched by the man's blue eyes and his sincere warmth.

"Are you all right?"

Trowa nodded.

"I'm glad." the man told him. "It would be sad, indeed, if the world lost anyone as lovely as you."

Trowa had been searching for the proverbial port in a storm at first as he sank himself into this new relationship. But as time passed, it grew more and more serious until Trowa agreed to an experimental male pregnancy.

"But first, my love." his intended told him, "we must be wed. My son or daughter shall not be born out of wedlock."

Trowa had wept tears of joy when he had accepted.

A few days later, after retrieving a used wedding kimono and uchukake in the right size, they were married.

Trowa's outfit had been stunning, including the traditional Japanese bridal headdress and bridal make-up.

A year after the wedding, Trowa gave birth to a stunningly beautiful baby boy. He was in the hospital, recovering, when he learned that his husband had been killed by gay-bashers while on the way to see Trowa.

Trowa had been devastated by the news. But ... he could hear footsteps, the nurse bringing in the baby. The nurse walked in and handed the baby to Trowa.


He took the baby into his arms, letting the nurse show him how, and looked down at his son, seeing him for the very first time.

There was something strangely familiar about the infant's beauty, something he knew he'd seen before. But where?

The baby opened his eyes and as Trowa looked into them his own eyes widened in stunned recognition.

"Duo..." he whispered

-----part 2-----

Trowa held the small child close as he ran through the rain, trying to find someplace for them both to keep dry.

He hurried into an old shrine, not caring what god it had been built for, and sat on the dry floor, glad to have little Duo out of the rain.

"Are you comfortable?"

Trowa turned. "My apologies." he stammered at the shrouded form. "I had believed this shrine to be abandoned."

"Do not be concerned." the form told him. "I merely came to make sure my son was all right."

"You... son?" Trowa blinked.

"You were carrying him even before you met the man you loved and lost." He handed Trowa some food.

"Do you wish to hold him?" Trowa asked.

"Yes, but I cannot. It would mean an end to his life."

"But why me?"

"Because you love him."

-----part 3-----

As time passed, Trowa's fears waned. His host hadn't harmed him. On the contrary, he'd gone out of his way to make sure Trowa and Duo-chan were both comfortable and well taken care of.

Then, Trowa walked into the temple and found the cloaked form standing there, holding the child, who was, by the sound of him, not dead or even afraid. "Um...." Trowa began.

The form turned and pushed back the hood, revealing a beautiful albino woman with a long silken braid down her back.

Trowa put his hand over his heart and staggered a bit, stunned by her beauty.

"Don't you *dare* die." She scolded him. "I'm on vacation."

Trowa smiled and laughed for the first time since his lover, the man he had thought, until recently, was Duo's father, had died.

"You're so beautiful." he told her.

"My dear Trowa," She replied, "you needn't try to seduce me. I already love you. If I did not, I would've chosen another to be the vessel of my offspring."

Trowa drew her close and kissed her, giving her perfectly formed buttocks a playful squeeze as he did so. "I love you, too."

"I know." She replied. "That's why I'm here."

Over the next two weeks, their love grew stronger. It was doomed from the get-go, but at the same time it would not be denied. Finally, Trowa got up the courage and proposed to her.

"I want to say yes, Trowa." She told him. "But I can't."

"Please, my beloved." 

"But that's just it. I'm not."

"I don't understand."

"I realized this afternoon, you've never said my name."

"Darling..." Trowa pleaded.

"See?" She pointed out. "It's always 'honey' or 'sweety-cakes', which I adore, but you don't use my name. It's because you still fear it. And if that's true, then you still fear me, the real me, and therefore I cannot truly be your beloved."

"My love," Trowa realized at that moment that what she was saying was true. But why did he still fear her when he knew her so well? There was no reason, was there? He began to laugh, realizing he'd been holding onto an old fear simply because it was something familiar. He released it and kissed her. "Please, Shi? Please marry me?"

"So, you do love me, then." Shi smiled and returned the kiss. "In that case, I will."

-----Owari-----