The Doctor Skit.
Scene 1: a doctor and a nurse are standing,
waiting for their cue to
begin the TV special on how to give
brain surgeries, there is a conscious
patient lying on a bed in a scared way.
DOCTOR:
Are we on? Ok, welcome to the
broadcast special on..
how to give a brain surgery.
NURSE:
Yes, we will show you
exactly how it is done.
DOCTOR:
(takes out a needle)
First, to numb the patient,
you inject lactic acid right into his wrist.
(he stabs it into his wrist)
Ok, now he's de..
now he can't feel anything.
The Doctor takes out scissors.
DOCTOR:
(not looking at what he's doing)
Now, you cut the patients
head open with these here scissors!
NURSE:
He can't feel anything!
Patient wakes up.
PATIENT:
I've heard of people waking up
during surge.. AHHH!!!
Doctor stabs him in the chest
with the scissors.. Twice.
DOCTOR:
If the patient awakes,
stab him in the chest.
CAMERA MAN:
This is a live brain surgery, folks.
NURSE:
(looking at the doctor cutting
the patient's head open)
He can't feel anythi...
watch out for his eyes, hey, his eyes!
Patient wakes up again.
PATIENT:
AHHHH!!!
Doctor stabs him in the leg,
then the heart.
DOCTOR:
If he wakes again, stab him in the heart,
and inject his leg with poison!
NURSE:
He can't fell anything!
(She starts to sow his heart up)
CAMERA MAN:
You might want to cover your eyes,
ladies and gentlemen.
The Doctor stabs him in the heart again,
for no reason.
CAMERA MAN:
And remember kids, don't try this at home.
DOCTOR:
Let's cut to a commercial,
but we'll be back with more on,
how to give brain surgeries.
CUTTO:
Scene 2: Doctor and Nurse
start talking sexually.
NURSE:
Do you want to give me surgery?
I'll play the patient.
DOCTOR:
I'll play the doctor.
They notice that the camera is rolling.
NURSE:
Uh.. OH!
DOCTOR:
Oh.. welcome back on how to
give brain surgeries.
The Doctor and Nurse bend down
and discuss something without
anyone hearing them, then they run
out of view of the camera,
but the camera follows them,
and they are laying on a couch,
they notice the camera.
NURSE:
Umm, hello!
May you please cut the camera?
Nurse walks out on the Doctor,
the doctor gets mad and stabs the camera man.
CUTTO:
Scene 3: The Nurse and the camera man
are standing hip to hip while the
doctor is laying on the emergency bed.
DOCTOR:
Umm.. what's going on? Who is he?
NURSE:
He's my new boyfriend!
He is a lot better then my other boyfriend.
DOCTOR:
But I was your other.. (He gasps)
But that happens to every one honey!
What am I doing on this bed?
Nurse looks at the camera.
NURSE:
Welcome back to our special on,
Plastic surgery.
DOCTOR:
NOOO!!!
The Nurse and the camera man go into
the other room for a few seconds,
you hear a few sounds, than they come back,
and the nurse is all loose and tired,
while the camera man's hat is off,
his shirt is untucked, and his hair
is messed up.
THE END
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