SKY TRACK 1: THE MOVIE 


Scene 1: Cheap camera shot of the 
ship floating through space.


VOICE OVER:
Space, the first frontier. 
These are the intergalactic 
travels of the earthly sent 
battilian droid ICH,
(Interactive computer human)
his creator Barf, and their leader, 
the fearless Jerk  


CUTTO:


Scene 2: Captain Jerk 
turns to the man running the 
ship's computer, ICH.


JERK:
ICH, take us up to warp 17 
so that we might enter the 
Araxian galaxy at mach 3000 
speed in time for the 
intergalactic space leap 
through 86 receminin light years.


ICH:
Yes sir, finding coordinates.


JERK:
Barf, take the electronic 
insonian up to 36,000 eklectronian 
megadroids on the Faranian computer.


BARF:
Yes sir, I'll boost the engine.


JERK:
We're going to decimate these 
Folkanian minadroids.


BARF:
Yes sir, we'll kill them. 



CUTTO:



Scene 3: Cheap camera shot of the 
ship falling through space.



CUTTO:



Scene 4: Jerk turns to ICH.


JERK:
I told you 86 receminin light years, not 85!



ICH:
Cannot compute 86, sir, 85 maximum.



JERK: 
You insufferable worthless 
piece of megadroidian interspacian 
galactic crap!



BARF:
Sir, I built ICH!


JERK:
Then you're also a ridiculously Barfian 
deer-hunting pool-playing planet 
hopping interglacial monster!


ICH:
Cannot compute.




BARF:
Yea, neither can I.



JERK:
I just called you both idiots!



ICH:
Cannot compute.



JERK:
Seal your bodily opening!



ICH:
Cannot compute.



JERK:
SHUT UP!



CUTTO:



Scene 5: Barf is making corrections 
to ICH's chemical makeup.


BARF:
Two more injections, and you'll be perfect.



 ICH:
I understand perfectly sir, for the 
gigabytes in my head are loose and 
comfortable, although my gigatube 
is inforshably bursting.


BARF:
Nothing we can't fix.



Captain walks in.


JERK:
Why are not the two of you 
galactic cadetion computational 
life forms not manning your positions?



ICH:
Cannot compute.



BARF:
Sir, maybe you shouldn't use 
such big words in front of a 
little educated droid.



JERK:
Better question, first mate Barf: 
Galactically, why is this earthly 
sent battilian droid not computing 
properly the interglacial language 
which I am galactically speaking?



 ICH:
Cannot compute.



BARF:
Because my design wasn't good enough.



JERK:
Your galactic blueprints weren't 
extensive enough? Is that what you 
galactically mean?



ICH:
Cannot ...


BARF:
Yes sir, that's what I mean.



JERK:
Glacially correct this earthly sent 
Batillian droid!



ICH:
Cannot compute.




Barf shuts ICH down.




CUTTO:



Scene 6: ICH and Barf are sitting in 
a room. Barf is injecting a needle 
into ICH's wrist.


BARF:
Ya know, I REALLY think we should get rid 
of this guy.



ICH:
How do you mean?



BARF:
Listen carefully.. Now, you bring 
him into the computer room, 
and I'll be waiting with ... The MACHINE.



ICH:
The machine, sir?



BARF:
Yes, the machine I've been working 
on my entire life! The machine that 
switches a man's brain with a droid's 
intestines and a computer driven mind! 
My machine!



CUTTO:



Scene 7: ICH walks up to captain jerk



JERK:
What is it, you earthly sent batillian droid?


ICH:
Well sir, I would like you to join 
me in the computer room.



JERK:
Why would you wish me to accompany 
you to the computational compartment? 
I am at the present moment attempting 
to verbally work out trade 
negotiations with the maronian government.


ICH:
Cannot compute. 
Just join me in the computer room. 
Please.



ICH and Jerk leave the room.



CUTTO:



Scene 8: ICH and Jerk enter the computer room.



JERK:
Why, galactically, have you accompanied 
me galactically to the 
computational compartment?



ICH:
Cannot compute.



JERK:
In your indulging form of mother-tongue, 
why am I here?



ICH:
To die, sir.



JERK:
What in the galacian name of warrior 
Knights are you speaking your 
mother-tongue about?



ICH:
Cannot compute. DIE!



Barf comes from behind a corner 
and hits the captain on the head with a gun.



JERK:
My galactic brain holding, neck resting, head!



The captain falls to the floor.



CUTTO:



Scene 9: ICH walks out of a room. 
He adjusts his head.


VOICE OVER(BARF):
My machine didn't work, so I had to 
manually remove the intestines and 
brains and manually replace them.




CUTTO:



Scene 10: ICH walks over to the captain.


ICH:
You galactically babbling glacian 
of a misfigured cerebrum with zero 
migratory brain power!



JERK:
Cannot compute.



CUTTO:



Scene 11: A cheap shot of the ship 
traveling through space.







THE END