"Learning to Communicate" by Jason Samsel

 

A couple weeks ago I was thinking of some chores on Columbus Day.  I had the day off, Elaine was at school and Lynn was working on school stuff at the dining table.  I told her I might mow the lawn.  It was a breezy and sunny day.  Just the week before we had gotten a blue spruce tree, about three feet high, and planted it in the middle of the front lawn.  I went out to check the tree and looked up at the house.  I noticed the trim boards on the roof 'dormers' that had peeling paint.  I'd been wanting to sand and paint them for a year. 

 

I happily abondoned thoughts of mowing and went and got the aluminum extension ladder.  I stuffed a rag, screwdriver, sandpaper and brush in my pockets, grabbed the quart of exterior latex and went up to the roof.    I pulled everything out of my pockets and laid them on the shingles.  I had to put the paint can on the rag so it would not blow away.  I began to sand the three inch wide board nearest me while standing on the composite shingles.  Wew!  I thought as I clutched the sandpaper, that was a stiff puff of wind.  And then I heard a scraping sound behind me.  I turned in time to see the top of the ladder disappear as it slid sideways accross the gutter.  I was glad the ladder missed the cars as it clattered on the driveway.

Well, ok, I thought.  I'll just finish the sanding while I wait for Lynn to come out and see what happened.  I finished the board and went on to the one next to it.  No one came out so I went to the other dormer and sanded it.  Still no one.  Ok, I'll paint and then see what to do.  I carefully wiped the dust off of the boards and then painted them.  No one had come out. 

 

What should I do?  I looked around for neighbors.  No one outside.  I looked down at the lawn.  No need to jump.  I looked at the roof.  The skylights!  I'll tap on a skylight to get Lynn's attention.  I went over to one and tapped on it.  Better do it again.  I tapped 'Shave and a haircut', three times.  I went over to the edge of the roof and looked around.  I sat down and waited for someone to appear.  Later I learned that Lynn was on the phone and she had yelled to the house " I'm on the phone!"  

 

I sat for a while thinking that well, it's not so far to the lawn.  And then I thought, it's been a long, long time since I've jumped down from even half that height.  I looked down the street and noticed a neighbor had just come out and gotten in his truck.  I waved in a big arc and yelled "Hey, can you come over!" and saw him smile a friendly smile from inside his cab, wave, turn to look behind him, back out and drive away.  Oh well, is it really that far to jump?

 

I decided to tattoo those skylights first.  You might remember we have three.  I made the rounds from bubble to bubble and beat a good rythm on each one.  I then sat down for twenty minutes at the peak of the roof and admired the view.  Lynn told me later that she had gone to the stairs leading to the basement and had yelled down "what kind of game are you playing!"

 

It wasn't too long after I had seriously contemplated jumping down on the lawn (for the third time scaring myself with visions of twisted ankles or worse) that I saw Lynn come out onto the front lawn.  She looked up and said "I thought you were going to mow the lawn."  Well we haven't been practicing communicating for over twenty years for nothing!