HUMOR Digest - 1 Aug 1997 to 2 Aug 1997

Date: Fri, 1 Aug 1997 03:54:57 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Moore on Dating

As a young man in the Navy, I will confess to not being all that careful about who I dated. This one young thang and I connected, and following dinner and a movie, she agreed to a motel.

After a very pleasant love-making session I noticed the time. I asked her if her Mother didn't pose questions about where she had been.

She replied, "My Mother doesn't care what I do. it's that damned truant officer who keeps asking a lot of silly questions."

Every time I brought a girl home to "meet the folks", my Mother couldn't stand her. She never liked any girl in who I showed any interest; until one nite I brought home a girl who not only looked like my Mother, but kinda sounded like her too.

Wouldn't ya just know it ? My Father couldn't stand her.

A girl went to a computer dating service and said she didn't care about looks, income or background. All she wanted was a man of upright character.

Then a man came in and told them the only thing he was seeking in a woman was intelligence.

The service matched them together at once because they had one thing in common --
they were both pathological liars.

At a party I was attending I was warned in advance to avoid this one desperate girl. Before I knew that happened though, she had me cornered. She asked if I were new to the area as she hadn't met me until that nite.

I replied, "No, I've been away."

"Ohhhhh, how exciting. Where were you, Europe ?"

"No." I said, "I was in jail."

"Oh really ?" And why were you in jail ?"

"Well, I hacked my wife into little bitty pieces with a meat cleaver fifteen years ago."

"Ohhhhh, then that means you're single then, right ?"

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