HUMOR Digest - 4 May 1997 to 5 May 1997

Date: Sun, 4 May 1997 02:54:07 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Religion

At one point in my life I had considered joining the Baptist Church. For those of you who don't know, the Baptists practice total body immersion to baptize a person. Luckily I even knew a minister in that faith, having dated his daughter, and I asked him if he would consider performing the service.

He paused a minute or two, gave me a long thoughtful look and said, "Jimmy, if you're serious about this, a dipping just won't do it for you. We'll have to find a place to anchor you overnite.

The Guru proposed marriage to one of his attractive followers. He had reached a point in his life where he wanted to contemplate someone else's navel.

There's a new sect just the New Agers. It's called "Jehovah's Bystanders".
That's a Witness who doesn't want to get involved.

A visitor to the nunnery asked a sharp, modern young Nun, "Do you think the Pope will ever allow Nuns to marry ?"

The Nun answered, "Someday she might."

A Bishop was approached one morning by a Priest. "Your Eminence," the Priest said, "there's a young lad here who claims to be seeing a vision of our Savior in the chapel. What should I do ?"

The Bishop jumped up saying, "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm gonna look real busy !"

A Priest and a Rabbi are sitting on a park bench. The Priest asks, "Rabbi, have you ever had ham ?"

The Rabbi says, "Yes Father, I have to confess and be totally honest with you. I did indeed try ham. But tell me, have you ever had sex ?"

The Priest said, "Well since you were honest with me, yes, I'm afraid in a moment of weakness, I did indeed have sex."

The Rabbi says, "Beats the hell outta ham, don't it ?"

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