HUMOR Digest - 30 Jan 1997 to 31 Jan 1997

Date: Thu, 30 Jan 1997 05:37:08 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Marriage Quickies

Ain't Marriage Grand ?

* I'll have to admit the first part of my marriage was happy.
   But then, on the way from the ceremony to the reception ...

* I just gotta wake up faster in the morning. I was sitting at the kitchen table having
   a cup of coffee. The wife came downstairs and I kissed her, and said:
   "Good Morning" then said, "Take a letter, please..."

* It's really a wonder my wife and I ever got together in the first place.
   She swore she would never marry me when I was drunk,
   and I wouldn't dream of marrying her when I was sober.

* My wife sez that I'm too extravagant; that if anything ever happens to her,
   I'll have to beg.  I told her I'd be fine.
   I mean look at all the experience I've got.

* I'm not saying my wife talks too much or anything,
   But she uses a special SPF 30 sunblock for her tongue.

* I have a cute pet name for my wife -- "Nag Central".
   She can talk at 160 words per minute, with gusts up to 190.

* At bedtime, when my wife asks "Is everything shut-up for the night ?"
   I always patiently reply, "Everything 'else' is, dear."

* I'm not the kind-of guy who objects to my wife having the last word.
   I'd just wish to hell she'd get to it !

* My wife hasn't been feeling all that well lately.
   Something she agreed with is eating her.

* My wife claims her car is so old that the fenders aren't dented --
   they're wrinkled !

* When I married my wife, she had a real hourglass figure.
   The sands of time have pretty much taken care of that though.

  Return to JimJr's Postings Page

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page