Training. Day one. I love my job. It is totally awesome. It brings the noise and brings the funk. There is no feeling in the world like when a 19 year old is showing you the proper way to roll silverware. I thought to myself, "So this is where 21 years of education gets me?" Sweet.
Though it had been six years since I had set foot in a restaurant as a worker rather than as a customer, the memories came flooding back as I sat next to a five-top (table of five for those of you not in the biz) with children screaming while I filled out the safety quiz in my server training workbook. One way to prevent slips and falls? Walk, don't run. I can already sense that my sociology master's degree will pull me through.
The five hours I was there will pay for my uniform. Fortunately, I don't have to wear a dorky hat or silly shirt like those tools at TGIFridays. We rule at the Ground Round.
Day Two, 6/14/02
Today I learned that at the Ground Round, we don't have any silly clap-and-dance-and-sing routines
for people's birthdays. Instead, we give a weak rendition of "Happy Birthday." If you
saw "American Idol" on FOX this past Tuesday night, you know what i'm talkin about. I also
took my first employee meal today. Perks, baby! The Sethinator cooked up a mighty reuben
sandwich for me. Shippensburg never gave me a free meal every shift! I also learned how to
make the "Ooey Gooey Flower Pot" children's dessert. I will be ordering these at the 50%
employee discount daily.
Part of my intense training regimen is to fill out this training workbook (featured on the pictures page). Today, I learned the rules for responsible beverage service as well as other useful info on all the beer, wine, and liquor that we sell at the G.R. I also read through a section on ways to suggest drinks to your customers. I would tell you what these are, but this is where the code of silence takes effect. I could tell you, but I would have to kill you. The second most fun thing of the day was to stand at the POS (computer ordering station) and enter in fake orders. I particularly had trouble entering in the Smothered Steak Sandwich served plain. I can perform a time-series cross-sectional analysis in order to understand how a demographic transition toward an older population will influence economic development among third world nations, but I couldn't figure out how to substitute American cheese for Swiss on the House Club. But, I'll never have that problem again thanks to Joey, my 21 year old trainer for the day. (Mad props to Lisa and Michelle at the U of A for collaborating on the old people project).
I haven't gotten my nametag yet. Once i do, I will wear it at all times on every shirt no matter where I am or what I am doing. I think it's important that strangers know and feel free to use my name. I don't have to go back in until Tuesday. I hope that the nightmares subside by then.
Day Three, 6/18/02
I now have three days of training under my belt (the belt that I forgot to wear to work today).
I spend the better part of my first half hour filling out another mindless training worksheet
and training quiz. I'm not sure which I'm more embarrassed about, that I had to take a training
quiz on the GR sandwiches or that it took me a half hour to complete. It was tough, okay?
In other training news, I handled my first table, two parents with their teen, all by myself.
The mother ordered a Bloody Mary, so I said sure, fine. Then when entering the drink order,
my trainer asked me if I carded the woman. The woman is obviously over 40, but I had to go
over anyway and say, "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask to see your ID...I'm in training."
Fortunately, she was good-humored about it cuz I guess it wasn't the first time she's been asked
for ID at the GR. So let that be a lesson to the under-age kids out there trying to pull one over--
don't mess with the Round.
I asked my trainer (23 yrs old) if she knows the origin of the name, "Ground Round." She didn't know. I checked out the corporate website, but there is no explanation there. I think that I will go with my own story that in Medieval times, fairs and festivals would be held on the lawn in the center of the town, and the lawn was referred to as the "Ground Round." So, at the Ground Round, we are trying to recapture that festival atmosphere to provide a unique family dining experience. I am hoping that just once a customer asks me the meaning.
Got my employee meal code today, so now I get a meal every shift from the limited employee menu (and who ever said that the restaurant doesn't care about its workers?). I tried the coconut battered shrimp served with a side of pina colada mandarin dipping sauce. Quite tasty, though there are only five shrimp to an order, so I was left a wee bit hungry. I may have to return to the reuben or give the Ground Rounder (1/3 lb. patty) a try.
Upon seeing this site, a friend asked if I really hate my job, or if it is just so ridiculous to
the point where I have to laugh. I'm undecided at this point. But, I'm only on day 3, so
we'll just have to wait and see. Day 4 tomorrow.
Day Four, 6/19/02
Today I actually handled some tables all on my own....Ooh! Exciting! Still making the trainee's
minimum wage, so I don't reap any of the tip rewards. Whatever, it's not like I'm in this whole
thing for the money. It's the experience, man!
Can't say there was anything really outstanding about this shift. The Texas Toothpick appetizer (breaded and fried jalapeno peppers) seems to be particularly popular these days. I'll have to sneak a couple off of the next order I deliver. Just kidding! That would be in violation of health codes and GR rules. And y'all know from my days at IHOP that I'm the enforcer of the code. Speaking of IHOP, I must say that up to this point, my experience has not been nearly as bad as that one. Given the choice between sitting on the couch all day long, watching television and fading in and out of sleep, or working at the GR, I'd probably choose the couch and TV. Unfortunately, that don't pay the bills. But I haven't given up on that idea yet. I know I can find a way.
I woke up at 4:00 in the middle of the night having more dreams about waiting tables. I was freaking out because my orders weren't coming up, or I had forgotten to check on a table, or any number of things. I'm afraid this will continue for some time. I'd really prefer to have my older brother's dreams where I become the new bassist for Metallica, explaining my new talents with, "I've had a lot of time on my hands." I may think twice about having the buffalo chicken tenderloin appetizer platter after 10:30 at night again.
Friday night I work on the line doing expo work, so I'll learn how to garnish all the plates. Basically,
I will be in everyone's way for five hours. I can hardly wait.
Expo Night, 6/21/02
Expooooooooo Niiiiiight! Amazingly enough, I didn't mess up anything at all. All the fried shrimp
platters got their ramekin of cocktail sauce. All the fish got its tartar sauce. And all the
sandwiches got their pickle on the side. All of this reminds me though of how many hands touch
the food on your plate before it actually gets to you. Hmm.
So I'm almost done with my training. It's been a long and hard road, but my transformation from
lay person to Ground Round server is almost finished. Soon, I will complete my journey to the
dark side of the force. Sunday, I will have my own three table section. I'm just giddy in
anticipation. I'm sure that the posts here will get a little more interesting once I have some
customers to complain about. Oh, how i loathe the thought.
Three Table Section, 6/23/02
Money money money money...money. $29.51 in tips off of $170 in sales. So that's roughly 17.4%.
For a slow night, I shouldn't complain. But I will. I was on the clock for 5 hours and 45 minutes,
and that's all I have to show for it (not counting the $2.30 hourly wage which barely covers taxes). Granted, I spent an hour and a half probably on cleaning my
section and doing my sidework, but I need to make more Benjamins than this. Actually, forget the
Benjamins, a couple more Abes would do. Puffy has it all wrong.
No customers to complain about. My wit and charm get me all the two dollar tips. I'm thinking of telling my customers all summer long that I'm new, but only at the end of the meal. That way, they will be amazed by my skillz and leave larger tips. Also up for consideration is telling lies to try and boost tips--casually mention our new three-month-old girl, or better yet, our three-month-old twins. Or maybe I should go for the sympathy tip and be honest, working in somehow that I have a Masters degree, yet I'm waiting tables. Though, I can't say that it is a MA in sociology, because for some people, that would explain things. I'm up for any other suggestions on tip-boosting lies. I'll even post the winning suggestion.
Before going in for my shift, I watched "Restaurants from Hell" on TLC, a documentary on some of the nastiest restaurants in London. I think that after that, and by the end of the summer, I will never again want to go out to eat. The site of mouse and rat droppings (on television, not at the GR) inches away from food and inside serving bowls gave me some wicked flashbacks to 620 South Henry Street in Williamsburg. Whenever I see mouse droppings, which isn't all that often, I'm struck by their likeness to tiny chocolate chips. Yum.
My schedule for the week is to work a double on Tuesday, dinner Wed., lunch Thurs., lunch Sat., and dinner
on Sunday. I'll probably scale back from daily updates to bi-weekly or weekly, depending on
just how exciting it is.
6/25, 6/26, 6/27
Before I get into it with these three days, I will no longer be posting sales and/or earnings.
Based on recommendations from my legal counsel, I shall only speak in vague, general terms that
cannot be used against me by the IRS in a court of law.
Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Three days of my life spent at the Ground Round that I will never get back. Sometimes, life isn't fair. Here's the thing with this job. It wouldn't be half bad if I were making some money. Maybe it will pick up more later in the summer. I made more money during lunch on Thursday than I did during a double-shift on Tuesday or during dinner on Wednesday. How odd. I'm doing well as far as tips go (my wit and charm), I just don't have enough in sales. Now, I know that I said this is a research experience, and believe me, I'm committed to that idea. But I got bills to pay.
Tuesday, it was so slow that we got nailed for standing around, not looking busy. So we were given rags and told to wipe down all the chairs, and the table legs, and all of the drink menus. "Why the drink menus?" you ask? Because customers flip through them with their nasty, barbecue, sour cream, and salsa covered fingers. Now would you go to a friend's home for dinner, pick up a book, flip through it, leaving barbecue residue all over the place? Of course not. Would you let your children make a complete and total mess? Never. But at the GR, it's okay, because suckers like me are there to clean up afterward. Good times.
So far, I haven't had any bad customers (bad=rude+bad tip), only a couple of oblivious ones (oblivious=nice+bad tip). I think "jerk" would describe the ones who are rude but leave good tips. None of them yet. But I'll take oblivious over bad any day. My will is going to be put to the test once I encounter the bad and the jerk. It's not a question of "if", rather only a matter of "when." My training manual tells me that the customer is always right. But my experience tells me otherwise. I've only had two items returned--a Taco Salad Grande with chicken that didn't have the chicken, and a key-lime smoothie. On the taco salad, it was a 71 yr old man who informed me that it was the first time in his life that he ever sent something back. I was proud to be his first. On the smoothie, the woman was lactose-intolerant and somehow missed the connection between "smoothie" and "dairy product." Luckily, both were cool about it, probably because I was such a smooth operator in handling the situation. Most people fail to recognize the difference between kitchen mistakes or their own mistakes and the actions of the server. These are the people who I will scientifically categorize as "idiots" in my coding scheme.
As for the physical conditions at the GR, if anything drives me completely insane, it will be the awful Top-40 music they have pumped in over the speakers. If your idea of good music is Pink, O-Town, Enrique, or Nickelback, then you'd be happy as a clam. However, should you have any real taste in music and don't think that Creed is the best thing since sliced bread but is rather the lamest feature ever for a VH-1 "Behind the Music", then you would be counting the days until the blood comes seeping out of your ears. The worst song is "Complicated," a poppy little diddy that will undoubtedly be featured on VH-1's "One-Hit Wonders" show some years down the road right after the feature on 4-Non-Blonde's "What's goin' on?" (two VH-1 references...my bad). I forced myself to watch the video on MTV so that I could find out the song title and name of the guilty party, Avril Lavigne. And I spelled that right. The song by itself is bad enough, but when coupled with the video, it reaches a whole new level of vomitous ilk. I won't go into all the details, but I'll just say that it involves teens running around an otherwise deserted shopping mall, being crazy, engaging in all sorts of antics that show just how crazy these kids are. There should be a moratorium on shopping mall videos.
I think you get my point.
On the upside, my hands are now incredibly silky smooth as a result of them swimming in salad dressing, sour cream, butter, and other
greases all day long.
Pay Day, 6/28
Picked up my first paycheck today. It's HUGE, HUGE, I say! Apparently, regular minimum wage is $5.15. Also, 10.5 hours of
training time were not included. But I am assured that this will be fixed. Whatever. But more importantly, I've found out
that I have made a terrible mistake. The server's minimum wage is NOT $2.30. It is actually $2.38, therefore making
everything worthwhile.
Saturday, 6/29
When I walked in to the GR and heard the worst song playing, I knew that was an omen that it would be a slow day.
I opened on Saturday, which means that I have to get there before the restaurant opens and set up everything for the day--cut lemons, cut tomatos, fill up the beverage station with ice, and a bunch of other things. Lucky for me, the other opener got there even earlier and had almost everything done already. Fine by me. Before we begin the day, we have "pre-meal" where all the cooks and servers get together and go over any new menu items or any items that we are all out of. The big item for Saturday's pre-meal was the new summer menu insert items--Cobb Salad, Peppercorn Whiskey Sirloin Tips, Chicken Fresco, and some other Italian festival meal containing two canneloni (one veal, one beef) and fried vegetable ravioli served with a medley of fresh summer vegetables. This is something passed on down my the corporate people who oversee the franchise. And to entice us servers into pushing the summer items, there is a contest. WHEE!!! Whoever sells the most items off of the menu will get a gift certificate to Barnes and Nobles or Starbucks or Wal-Mart, or some other big ugly multi-national corporation. Somehow this is supposed to make us forget just how poor the situation is that we are in. And I'm guessing it works. Also, the special summer beverage is daquiris, so we're supposed to try and push those also. And to further sucker us into thinking that the GR is a great place to work, we can now drink daquiris (just not on the clock! ha ha ha). Of course, these run $4.50 or $5.00 a piece, and the first thing *I* want to do after working all day is give the restaurant its money back. My favorite bit from the pre-meal though was when one of the managers gave this morale-boosting speech, "And since this is our last year as a franchise, we want to really go out with a bang and look good for the corporation! Plus, we want to kick Hagerstown's ass!"
I did not know that we had a rivalry with the Hagerstown Ground Round. I didn't even know that there was a Hagerstown Ground Round. I can't imagine that in this section of Maryland there is such a demand for the tasty offerings of the GR. But, I'm hoping that the feud is something like the Springfield-Shelbyville rivalry on "The Simpsons." Maybe I've just been missing out on the weekend TP parties. I'll be jealous if the others have been putting bricks through the store-front windows at the Hagerstown GR with notes attached saying, "Taste our family values."
Things of note for this shift: the Jan-Tana Fitness Competition was being shown on the television in the room I was working. I told another one of the managers (i know...how many managers does it take to run a Ground Round?) that a couple of my customers were disturbed by this and requested the TV be changed to the World Cup match between Turkey and South Korea. Truth is, the customers weren't really disturbed, they just found it odd. And I was the one who wanted to watch the World Cup. And I did, nearly uninterrupted for the next half hour.
One last note on these "free" meals that we get every shift. Turns out, these aren't really "free." A couple dollars is taken
out of every paycheck automatically, whether or not you use your meals. Supposedly, you can have that stopped if you never
take meals, but that probably takes lots of paperwork and lots of time. So, they can take my $5.55 every week. I'm sure that
it still works out to be cheaper than buying those meals at the grocery store, but it's the principle of the matter.
Sunday, 6/30
Everybody smokes at the Ground Round. All the cooks, and I'd estimate 90-95% of the servers. Even the pregnant woman smokes.
I guess she just figures that if her first child survived her smoking during pregnancy, the second will too.
After this shift, I'm reminded that the correlations between type of person and demeanor during the meal, and the tip they leave is a weak one at best. Age as a predictor of tip percentage generally works on a bell-curve. Teen-agers are generally fairly poor tippers. Four kids left me $5 of a $53 dollar check (orginally $58, they had a $5 coupon, but you always tip on the pre-discounted amount). And the elderly tend to tip a bit below the average. But, there are always exceptions, and there is the type of customer that gives you a rough time but leaves a good tip. I believe this is the "jerk" customer according to my typology.
I had a jerk last night. A couple, early to mid-40s, was seated at one of my tables. Since I have another check to drop off
and food to run out to the teen-agers, I tell them that I will be with them in just a minute. After dropping off the check and
running out the food, I go over and apologize for making them wait. The man responds with, "Well, I just want to make sure that
you're aware of the fact that your making a living depends on keeping me happy, and right now at the start, you're already behind
the 8-ball." So, I give you a quiz on how I respond:
1)"I'm sorry, but I'm paid to bring you food and drink, not to ensure any
sort of emotional state."
2)"If you're unhappy, then maybe I can hook you up with some counselling."
3)"Yes, and I just want to make sure that you, sir, are aware of the fact that you getting your food without any bodily fluids being introduced depends on
you keeping me happy."
4)"You talkin to me? You talking to ME? I don't see anyone else here, so I guess you must be talkin to me."
5)"Believe me, I'm completely aware of that, sir, but I have other customers whose food was ready, and I didn't want it to get
cold so as to keep them happy. But, I'll do my best from here out to get from behind the 8-ball."
I'd love to say that I responded with anything other than option 5, but I didn't. I think his wife was embarassed by his antics, and I ended up getting a 30% tip. But I think my pent-up rage spilled into my dreams last night. I dreamt that an annoying child was tugging on my watch, eventually breaking it. Another customer says something about the broken watch, to which I yell, "The problem isn't my stupid watch...the problem is that I have a Bachelors degree and a Masters degree, and I'm having to grovel to you just so that I can get a two-dollar tip...THAT's my problem!" I then travel down to a gorilla and monkey preserve in Mexico to find the parents of this child, but the monkeys get out of control and go berserk, so I have to jump the fence and end up riding horses out of there with Indiana Jones, then I have a peg-leg and am attempting to drive a schoolbus.
So, I passed the first test of my will to deal with the jerk customer. Luckily, I have today (Monday) off to recover.
7/2,7/3,7/4
Not too much of note for Tuesday or Wednesday. Same old same old. Lunch on July 4th was good for money. I think that people
realized that others were waiting on them during a holiday, so the tips were a little more generous than usual. And that's the
way it should be. There are always people who have to work on the days that everyone else has off. In fact, I should probably
have been getting time-and-a-half pay for working a holiday. But, I'm sure that won't happen. At least they finally put my
training hours on my paycheck (though they still shortchanged me a half hour...whatever though). I only worked lunch on the 4th,
so I got to go out and watch the Frederick fireworks extravaganza. Woohoo.
I had more complaints about food though on the 4th than all my other time at the GR combined. Food was too cold, food was too
hot (flavor, not temperature), food was too spicy. If you order something, and you simply don't like the way it tastes, then
that's your own fault, and it should not be made my problem. Any time the words "Buffalo" appear with an item, that should be
a sign of flavor. If it's bland, tasteless food that you want, go to McDonalds. Sending food back because there is a problem
with it (i.e. a large bug hidden under a bed of lettuce) is completely understandable. But sending food back because you just
don't like it is ridiculous. It's not a buffet we're running here. At a buffet, if you don't like something, chuck the plate
and get another. But at a sit-down restaurant, that's not the way it works. If you don't know the basic rules for eating at
a restaurant, then don't, i say.
Again, there are two kinds of people in this world: those who have waited tables, and those who have not. People who have waited
tables before always leave the table nice and tidy. People who have not will bring in their children, let them destroy the area,
not make an effort to clean up (you're paying me to serve you food, not to clean up after your kids), and then not factor in the
fact that kids' drinks are free when figuring out how much to tip. People who have waited tables also will tip better. People
who have not live under the illusion that they are the only people you have to take care of. In Germany, mandatory military
service still exists. In my world, we would have mandatory restaurant service. Heal the world. Make it a better place.
Saturday, 7/6
Saturday lunch. 15 servers on the floor. 3 tables a piece. Not a recipe for making money. 'Nuff said.
Dinner, Sunday, 7/7
Nothing very spectacular about this shift. Two things stand out---a customer sent back a half rack of ribs because they were,
"cold as ice." Apparently, she ascertained this by digging her fingers into the ribs at several crucial points. To see whether
or not the ribs were truly "cold as ice," I too dug a finger down into the barbecue glazed pork (back in the kitchen, not right
there in front of the table). And while I would disagree with the "cold as ice" description, they certainly were closer to
room temperature than they were to sizzling hot. However, because of my graceful handling of the situation and my smooth smooth
ways, I still got a good tip.
And secondly, the last table I had of the night got their food quickly, ate promptly, paid their bill, and then sat there. And
sat there. And sat some more. And some more. Until finally, after midnight, I was told that I could leave and didn't have to
worry about cleaning up the table. I made several trips through the area tidying up all the other empty tables, attempting to
convey that I was simply waiting on them before I myself could leave. We tried turning off the music. They stayed. I took
off my GR shirt and tidied up some more in my t-shirt. But they still didn't get the hint. Why people do this, I do not know.
No, wait...I do know. Some people are simply oblivious to any sort of situational context in which they are acting. Simply put,
some people are idiots. I can safely say this because I am a sociologist as well as a waiter at the Ground Round.
Double-Shift, Tuesday, 7/9
I do not like working a double on Tuesday. One, because Tuesdays are typically slow. Two, because double-shift workers are the
first to get cut off the floor, effectively putting a stop to the money train. Today was what I like to call a "Video Store Day." Meaning, I could have made more money
working in a video store than I did waiting tables. Quite sad really. When I'm making money, I don't being at the GR. When I don't
make money, that is when I truly and deeply despise my job...er, my research experience. Fortunately, my sidework was desserts,
probably one of the easier sidework assignments, the main perk being getting the leftovers from the apple crisp pan. Little things.
My main rant for the day is that one of the potentially worst parties to have is one parent with several children. Why? I'll tell you why. Kiddie drinks are free. Yet, kiddies still manage to spill the drink despite the lid on the cup. Second, parents think that it's cute to get Shirley Temples for the kids, thus adding to the amount of work, but adding nothing to the amount of the bill. And kids' meals tend to be cheap, again doing nothing for the bill total. When it comes time to pay, nobody ever accounts for the fact that the bill is lower because of the free drinks. So rather than reflecting the total amount of work required for the table, the tip simply reflects the bill. Case in point: a party of a mother, two daughters, and a friend of one of the daughters. Water for the mother (free), three kiddie Shirley temples (free). Two kids' pizzas, a kiddie macaroni and cheese, and a junior ranch burger for the mother. Plus, it's one of the kids' birthday. So, there is a round of Slider Sundaes (served in a plastic mini baseball helmet). Since it's a birthday, a bunch of us have to give yet another weak rendition of "Happy Birthday," interrupting whatever other work we might have been doing, PLUS one of the sundaes is comped off the check. Total bill? $21.50. Tip? $3.50. On top of that, apparently there was a coupon in the paper recently for $5 off any meal over $15. So people had those all day long, yet tipped on the discounted bill rather than the original. Just wrong.
In addition to circling and writing the total on the bill along with "Thanks! James" at the top of the bill, I think I might start adding other things such as, "Thanks! I make $2.38 an hour with no benefits! James" or "Remember, I have your credit card number! James." Or perhaps "For an extra $1 tip, I'll tell you what was in your food. For $5 I'll lie."
On the bright side, I don't have a sharp stick in my eye. And it sounds like there is a new music mix being pumped into the
restaurant. Goodbye Pink, Nickelback, and Creed...Hello John Mayer (poor man's Dave Matthews), The Coors w/ Bono, and...Creed!
'Cause you can just never get enough Creed!
The fun has only just begun.
Read on in Part 2 of my G.R. diary.
