Then after the Ninja squad fiasco Zartan finally hit rock bottom.

His sister Zaranna explains "I 'member saying to im 'Oy! Bizzare! Zartan, Wot's iz?' an' 'e just looked at me an' asked fer another grape soda an' some jelly dounuts."

But the worst was yet to come. Because of his rapidly expanding waistline, he'd moved from impersonating active duty Joes to posing as low-rate rent-a-cop security guards. On a raid on the Joe HQ Zartan led point and got himself stuck in the air vents. A ten-man Night-Viper squad behind him was forced to find another path, right into the arms of GIJOE.

Cobra Commander fired him that very night when he finally made it back to base. "He once was a man... now... useless... all useless."

So now Cobra and the mercinary business he had helped form were no longer there for him. He packed what little belongings he had and moved in with Raptor and Crystal Ball. He sold his Hog for a hog-cooker. His once great eye for archery led him to the local bowling ally where he would drown his sorrows with beer and peanuts.

A long time friend and team-mate FireFly tried to keep in touch "It's not that he couldn't still pull off amazing disguises, he could be Elvis then walk around the corner and you'd see Santa Claus in his place. But the exertion was just too much, running across long barren fields, climbing over tall fences, you could hear him panting, trying to keep up."

But then a glimmer of hope in Zartan's life. A daughter is born, when the =C= True Cobra Mercinary Story continues...