Jamie Says
This is my Story...
(and I'm stickin' to it)
I was raised in one of the finest families one could wish for. My parents were awesome. We went to church every Sunday. I went to a Catholic grade school. I was the oldest brother of a family of eight. I lived in Burgundy Village until age 12 and then we moved to Hayfield Farms where I eventually attended Hayfield High School. I�ve lived in Alexandria, VA most of my life. In spite of my good home life, by the time I was in 4th grade I had been caught shoplifting, caught with a switchblade in school, caught breaking and entering, caught the woods on fire with a match, smoked cigarettes, hit a boy over the head with a soda bottle, and was a member of a bicycle stealing gang. By the time I was a sophomore in high school I had smoked pot, dropped acid, shot-up cocaine, and assisted friends in stealing anything from guns to cars (it�s scary to think that I was one of the more conservative members in my crowd!). At some point in my adolescent quest for adventure I began to seek for the answer to that transcendent question, "Why are we here?" I started reading about psychic phenomena through Edgar Cayce�s books on clairvoyance. Since childhood I�d always held a fascination for psychic power and the occult and these books seemed to provide a kind of modern day answer to many of my questions. I became involved in yoga, miracle metaphysics and oriental occultism, and eventually so-called white witchcraft and even sorcery. The latter interest was sparked by a series of books entitled, A Separate Reality, by Carlos Castenada. This led me into experimentation with such things as acquiring an ally, astral projection, casting spells, levitation, divination and mind control. As I got more deeply involved I experienced what seemed like more and more control over my destiny. I had power over some people and I enjoyed increasing popularity as I would actually read their minds. What I failed to notice was that my mind was slipping further and further into a spellbound darkness from which there was no escape. After breaking up with my girlfriend (for her "lack of spiritual vision") I became obsessed with jealousy over her new lovers. So much so, in fact, that I was tempted to use my occult powers to put curses on her boyfriends and use spells to bring her back to me. But I held back because I knew what that meant: I would be entering into the practice of "black magic" which to me meant selling out to evil. At this time I began to see another change, the powers that I once wielded weren�t working for me like before. I did not know what went wrong. All the positive energy was gone. It was as though something dark and ominous had been released inside of me. I was filled with negative, dark, depression and I began to experience unbelievable terrors. My psychic vision revealed that I had been cursed by my ex-girlfriend, now the temptation to retaliate was stronger than ever, and my mind just got blacker. I knew I had to leave town. I had to get away from my family and friends. I could not let them see me this way--and I had to leave these demons behind! So off to Florida I drove. With my occult books and artist supplies. I was going to start all over again. A new life! Fun in the sun! A fresh start! Much to my surprise my demons did not stay behind in Alexandria. In fact it seemed as if they picked up a few hitch-hikers along the way. Many times late at night I could not get to sleep because of the torment I was experiencing. My neck felt as if it were being choked, a dull ache would come over the back of my head and my forehead would sting (as though I had an infectious wound in what psychics call the third eye). I knew my problem was spiritual but didn�t want to admit it. I tried to deny the separate reality lorded over by demonic beings which I had opened myself up to. I cried out to God for help but every time I tried to pray I would hear curse words (directed at God) in my head. I believed it was me thinking those evil thoughts, that I had released some evil force from within me, that I was paying for all the evil I had done, and it tormented me. At night I would see my face as though it were the devil himself looking in and laughing at me. I hated myself and wanted to die. I felt it was too late for me. If it were not for the knowledge of what it would do to my family I would have taken my life just to escape the torture of living. One day I finally got around to paying a visit to my cousin�s store. I had been in town for a month or so, but I had been avoiding him because my cousin was what we called a "Jesus Freak" and I was kind of afraid of him, I knew he was a fanatic! The very first thing he said to me after greeting me was, "Jamie, What�s wrong?" It rattled me that he could see there was something wrong because I was very self-conscious about it. Soon we were getting together regularly to argue the validity of the Bible. Even though I did not agree with him I felt genuine love from him and I wanted to have the evident joy and peace that he had, and really, I wanted to believe the way he did but I felt I needed something more sophisticated than his simple-minded religion to achieve the same psychological bliss. I sincerely believed that his state of mind was self-induced and that I was beyond that. I even witnessed some things which I could not explain but I attributed them to the power of the mind to believe and achieve, etc. Following that summer of �78 I joined the Navy. I wanted to see the world and rehabilitate myself but more important in my mind was to have good health care in case I was in need of a lobotomy or something! I know it sounds crazy but I thought I was crazy. Many times I prayed to God for help in the following year. But one day I met a fellow sailor who spoke to me about my need for Jesus. He would not give up on me and he got me to go to church with him. It was there in October of 1979 that I went to the front of a large Baptist Church to receive Christ in front of everyone. I had prayed to receive Him before but this time I really meant it, no matter what it cost me in reputation, or friendships, or fun, thrills and excitement I was ready to give it all up for Him. As I prayed I felt a tremendous weight come off of me, then something warm and pure came pouring into me. I knew at that moment I was brand new on the inside and I would never be the same. "If any man be in Christ, he is a newly created being, old things are passed away, behold all things are become new." (II Corinthians 5:17) Today I am a new person. You can be too! Don�t believe the lie that you are beyond hope, there is a way out of any situation. I�m living proof! ______________________________________________________________________ If you would like to know more about my story feel free to email me anytime.
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