Eggnog's Web Page
The fight against Boredom must go on!
Here is a link to Modern Pirate's Webpage
Modern Pirate Page
Modern Pirate is a raging homosexual so lock up your children.
If you want to send me any comments about my page or just some advice my email is [email protected]
You can also talk to me at MyspaceI have a group called the (Anti-Haylie)group and am a member of a few others, my Myspace username is Eggnog.
If you want to look up shows or jokes from comedy central instead of waiting for me to post someClick Here To Go To Comedy Central
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Sweet smeel of Freedom
Important Disclaimer
Behold the face of the enemy "Haylie"
Good to see our president staying vigilant.
Im sorry citizens, we have lost Modern Pirate aka "Josh" to the Arch, he is now an official employee of McDonalds. I guess he really needs the money.
No, im really not, McDonald's propagands disgusts me. Down with the communist Josh.
Down with the clown
One step closer to victory
We have managed to capture one of there leaders
McDonald's the enemy, you tell me
Little by little we are winning
I knew it
Here is a memorial dedicated to the loss of Josh, he served his country in the battle against Haylie "Viva la Eggnog", and then he served well...fast food.
A funny, yet gross, monkey joke.
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some
olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs one of the billiard balls. To everyone's amazement, he sticks it in his mouth, and somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.
Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first."
A funny joke from comedy central
B-Day Sex
Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stuck."
His friend said, "I have an idea! Why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled." Adam decided to to his friend's advice.
The next day at the bar his friend said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?"
"Yes, I did," Adam replied.
"Did she like it?"
"Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling "I'll be back in an hour!!"
Here is a cool Mind Trick
The Difficult English Language
English has to be one of the hardest languages to understand. Read the paragraph below and try to understand the meaning.
Two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic
protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical
structure; Subsequently the second member of the team performed a self
rotational translation oriented in the same direction taken by the first team member.
In plain English what does this translate to?
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after!
Here is a link to to a page of ways to annoy people
Tips to Annoy
Owned,etc.
Here is some riddles I will update from time to time,if you think of any riddles you would like me to post, post it in my guestbook and if its any good I will put it up.
Take away my first letter and I am unchanged;Take away my second letter and I am unchanged;Take away all my remaining letters and I am still unchanged!
What am I?
Answer!=A postman or mailbox
A "Wise King" devised a contest to see who would receive the Princess hand in marriage.
The Princess was put in a 50x50 foot carpeted room. Each of her four suitors were put in one corner of the room with a small box to stand on. The first one to touch the Princess hand would be the winner and become the new King.
The rules of the test were that the contestants could not walk over the carpet, cross the plane of the carpet, or hang from anything; nor could they use anything but their body and wits (i.e. no magic or telepathy, nor any items such as ladders, block and tackles, etc.).
One suitor figured out a way and married the Princess and became the new King.
How did he figure it out?
Answer!=The successful suitor simply asked the Princess to walk over to where he stood, and to touch his hand!
A beggar's brother died, but the man who died had no brother.
How could this be?
Answer!=The beggar was a woman.
A headless man had a letter to write;
It was read by a man who had lost his sight.
The dumb repeated it word for word;
And deaf was he who listened and heard.
Solve this riddle.
Answer!=The letter in question is the letter "O".
It is zero. The man had nothing to write.
The blind could read nothing.
The person who was dumb could repeat nothing.
The deaf man listened and heard nothing.
Though liquid in nature, don't push me too far; for then I will break, and the damage may scar.
What am I?
Answer!=Glass
I am the beginning of sorrow,
and the end of sickness.
You cannot express happiness without me,
yet I am in the midst of crosses.
I am always in risk,
yet never in danger.
You may find me in the sun,
but I am never out of darkness.
Answer!=The letter S
Here is a good riddle for someone who likes solving mysteries
A man was found murdered one Sunday morning.
His wife immediately called the police.
The police questioned the wife and staff and was given these alibis:
The Wife said she was in bed reading a book.
The Cook claimed she cooking breakfast.
The Gardener claimed he was planting seeds.
The Maid claimed she was getting the mail.
The Butler claimed he polishing the silver.
Does the Moslem religion allow a man to marry his widow�s sister?
Answer!=A dead man cant marry nomatter what his religion.
Simon Simpleton was born in London, England.
His mother was Welsh and his father Scottish.
When Simon was eight his mother died.
When Simon was ten his father married an Irish women and suddenly Simon had an Irish sister.
When Simon was twenty four he graduated as a lawyer and took a job in Edinburgh, Scotland.
He is now sixty six.
Why can he not be buried on the banks of Loch Lomond in his favourite village of Luss, in Bonnie Scotland .
A horse is tied to a 15 ft. rope and there is a bail of hay 25 ft. away from him. Yet the horse is able to eat from the bail of hay. How is this possible
Answer!=The rope isnt tied down.
I have streets but no pavement.
I have cities but no buildings.
I have forests yet no trees.
I have rivers yet no water.
What am I?
Answer!=A map
If you think you got it write it in my guestbook.
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