Day 1
ME: "Holy shit! What the hell happened to you?!!?"
FATSO: "Man I fell out of that tree trying
to get some coconuts."
ME: "You stupid, fat, piece of shit! You couldn't
make it up that tree! I'll bet you money I can make it up there and get
some coconuts!"
Up the tree I went,
it had to be an easy 25ft tall but not too difficult to climb. I got to
the top and started to pull on this coconut. The stupid thing wouldn't
budge so I started twisting, tugging, and then finally just yanked on it.
POP! One down. the next nine or so came down with out much of a fight.
People on the ground were going nuts! They were chanting "Monkeyboy! Monkeyboy!"
By this time though I was starting to get tired and feeling like I may
fall so I began to climb down. If you've ever see how sailors go down ladders
like in Crimson Tide that's about how I managed to get out of that tree.
Don't do that it hurts like crazy when you rip all that skin off your forearm
and leg.
As soon as my feet hit
the ground someone grabbed my left arm and shoulder. I turned around to
see the damn security guard just sorta shaking his head as he led my out
of the club. I thought, that's cool he'll just kick me out and I can sneak
back in. Well he didn't let go of me at the door and we kept walking towards
the hotel and street. The entire time he kept sayong something about "coconus"
and "senior" I don't speak a damn bit of spanish so I had no clue. I thought
about running because I was afraid he might arrest me but decided against
it because he would more than likely just take me to the street. And there
it was, the street and freedom but wait! We weren't heading for the street
but for the security guard shack where undoubtedly the ploicia would come
and get me. Hell why not light a cigarette?
Inside the shack
the sat me down and threw my cigarette on the floor. They mentioned the
"senior" and "coconus" again but now there was something new... "80 pesos!"
Basically I had to pay this guy off or goto jail, I felt prety smart for
figuring this out since I understood all of 4 words he said to me. I paid
the pesos (aprox. $10USD), gave the guy a hug saying "gracias Senior" and
walked out of the shack. But then I went back to get my cigarette, I mean
they can take my money but not my smokes! At this point the guard started
speaking english (they all can down there) and told me his friend took
it. I argued with hime for a while until he let my back into the shack
to check it out. Sure enough it was gone, so back to the club I went. Day
2 ends.