embracing the loss
i want to lie down and sleep forever
and dream a dream where you are my true love
it's so hard to accept that you're really gone
even breathing seems to take an effort
life on a timeline is such a sad thing
it kept you from giving yourself to me,
created an artificial distance
while i stood begging you to let me in
i wanted to spend a lifetime with you,
have a wedding and raise a family
it was my dream; it was so real to me
but you slipped farther and farther away
to all appearances, i'm having fun
going out dancing and dating women
but my heart is like a dry, withered rose
that once grew bright and vibrant in the sun
no one sees that I'm embracing the pain
doing things that remind me of our love
dating just makes me want to be with you
swing dancing sears my heart like a hot blade
i'm doing these things not to run away,
but to turn the volume up on my pain
till it deadens my every other sense
and I hurt as deep as my love for you
i hope that i feel this pain forever
i don't ever want to lose that feeling
so that each day of my life that passes
does honor to the mem'ry of our love