A Stroll with milk maid


Sometimes in life, you get to meet a person who is as genuine on-line as they are in real life. And if you're VERY lucky, you'll have spent part of your childhood with them. Such is the way it is with milk maid and me. We've been friends since the days of Brownies and Rangers (a part of Girl Guides of Canada). She is one of those people who always leaves a lasting impression on me. It's difficult for me to keep this intro down to these few words -- her friendship means that much to me. When we were kids, I just wanted to hang out with her. As teenagers, she seemed to exude confidence and stand her ground. And now, as a grown woman, I admire her strength and beliefs. And the fact that she has 3 kids!

So, here's milk maid -- without skimming any cream off the top. Oh, and ask her someday why her Dad calls her Sam. I could never understand it either...


Question: Is there anything you'd like to reveal about yourself?
milk maid: I guess this gives a little background on who I am... I went to university and obtained a biology degree, and once I realized that the real world was nipping at my heels, I returned to school. I subsequently trained for 2 years to become a medical laboratory technologist, and was able to obtain a job in my field, which helped to put my husband through his training, and helped to keep food on the table. I have a keen interest in the medical sciences, and love the knowledge base that I have to draw from. I have been married for 5 years, and have 3 children. I am fortunate enough to be at home with my children, and am trying to hold together our family unit. I am extremely interested in people, and how they think and how they respond. I love kids, and camping, travelling (although not sure about that after this summer..), and am trying to hone my domestic skills.

Question: What's the story behind your handle?
milk maid: I chose my handle mainly to make you laugh!! I thought your name showed great ingenuity, and also told something about who you really were. While thinking of what I should call myself, my husband offered the suggestion of "Dairy Bar". He made me laugh, but I chose the name "milk maid" as a reflection of this. When I chose the name, I was still nursing my youngest child, Sam. It seemed that was how I spent most of my day, and often defined who I was. I was a mother..first and foremost! I have also been able to help several friends, and encouraging their breast-feeding. It is a challenging, and natural part of life, yet, in our culture, it has become a lost art, and I am proud to pass on any knowledge and tips that I have gained.

Question: We've been friends a very long time, in real life. And now we meet in Hotel Chat. Why do you visit the Hotel so much, and do you visit other chat rooms?
milk maid: I started visiting the Hotel Chat after you gave me the address and told me how much fun it was. Bless your heart for introducing me to these chat lines..! I then had to switch servers to obtain more internet access time! I began visiting the hotel to search for you..and because my name caught the eyes of others..I began to chat. It is a fascinating sub-culture all it's own. I began to learn the terms..and the language. I then tried Hawaii Chat, and then PowWow, which you also recommended. While looking for you, I made 2 remarkable friends in PowWow who have become integral parts of my life, and who are people that I hope with all my heart I can meet in real life. I still return to the Hotel to find you, and I think I prefer the anonymity of it best of all. It is the most protected medium to chat in..and I am able to control who learns my true identity. It is fun to be able to chat regularly with you, and give you tidbits of news from home. I like the friends I have made there. I have also tried Parents Place, and chatted with other parents, who had similar life experiences to mine. Finally, I have tried FreeTel, which was recommended by another friend. It was amazing to hear his voice over the internet, but I am reluctant to try to use it to talk to other strangers. Overall, I am thrilled with the contact with others, and I am often amazed at the personal details that people will share with others under the guise of anonymity. It is wondeful to find other grown-ups to talk to, and the friends I have made and maintained have given a deeper quality to my life.

Question: What one song seems to be your personal theme? Explain.
milk maid: I have always loved music. I spent nearly all of the money I made during high school on music. I loved to listen to the favourites of others because I thought it told so much about them. It is hard to limit my choice to only one song, but to choose one song for a personal theme, I think it would be "With or Without You" by U2. I began listening to the song, as an old flame was far away..and continued listening as the flame died out, and subsequently I gained strength from the song as I learned to stand on my own again. Through that song, I rediscovered my self-worth, and then U2 music became a very large part of my life.

Question: What's your view on cyber relationships, and the hot topic, cyber-sex?
milk maid: Cyber relationships still fascinate me. There are so many extraordinary people who are willing to share parts of their lives. I prefer the people who are genuine and honest about themselves, and not pretending to be something they aren't. The internet allows people to become anyone they want to be..but those who are comfortable and stable enough to be themselves are the most appealing to me. It is almost a backwards way of meeting people, because I meet them from the inside first..and the outside appearances become incidental.
The cyber-sex that goes on is amusing to watch, and often makes me laugh.. but I am not comfortable with the setting. I don't play the game very well, so I choose to avoid the situation. I have learned to quickly tell others that I am mom to 3, and that ruins the mood instantly. I find it far more stimulating to touch the mind and heart of another. Cyber-sex to me seems empty and lonely.

Question: If you had the chance to go back in time and change the outcome of a single event, what would it be, what would you do differently to change it, and what impact would it have on your life today?
milk maid: There are things that I regret doing, and situations I regret being in, but given the chance to do things right..I'm not sure that I would. I have learned from all of these things, and some lessons were necessary to learn the hard way. All events have shaped my life, and have made me who I am today. I only hope I can use the knowlege I have aquired, and any inner strength I have developed, and share it with the other people in my life. I want to help my friends, loved ones, and family to be the best that they can be, and I want them all to be happy. I will be careful to pass on as much as I can to my children, and I will always try to protect them from the same kinds of lessons.. but realistically, I know I can't protect them from everything. I hope to pass on to them the right skills to deal with the situation, and be the kind of parent that they can comfortably discuss issues with.

Question: What would you rather be doing right now?
milk maid: I would rather be swimming.. :-) Care to join me??

Question: What was your single most embarrassing moment of your life?
milk maid: The most embarrassing moment was when I told my parents that I was pregnant with my first child,and because I fell from grace in their eyes. I allowed my wedding to happen as planned, and only told them one month afterwards. Pre-marital sex was not an issue that was easy for them to accept.

Question: What's it like to be a parent?
milk maid: It has been the wildest roller-coaster ride I have ever been on. At first, I lost many friends as a result of our parenthood. It was as if we had a horrible disease that no one else wanted to catch. Then, we became models fro friends who were catching up..and they learned from our mistakes. It has been incredibly rewarding, and has offered so many cherished experiences. I value the time with my children, and wouldn't trade them for anything. They have shown me new ways to look at life.. and the unconditional love is incredibly satifsying!

Question: What's the single most most powerful force that exists? Why is it the most powerful?
milk maid: I think the most powerful force that exists is love. My life is defined by the love that I give and receive from others, and by the love of God, as well. With love comes fulfillment..and satisfaction of spirit.

Question: Got any good ideas for supper? Explain.
milk maid: Hmm.. best suggestion is always pasta. Spaghetti sauce is my only way to sneak veggies past the kids, without someone picking them out. I like to make a tomato sauce with pepperoni.. cheap, yet spicy.. and served with garlic bread. Nothing like fresh garlic to keep germs at bay!


I've Had All The Calcium I Need Today...

Umm... Can I Be Next?

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