Title: Return to Me

 

Author: Jessica   ( [email protected] )

 

Rating: PG

 

Category: MSR/RST

 

Spoiler: Redux II, Triangle and X-files the movie

 

Summary: Mulder and Scully together…

 

Disclaimer: The X-files, Mulder and Scully belong to FOX and they are not mine.

 

Note: English is not my first language so spelling/ grammar mistake may occur.

 

 

He had left her alone in this world. She had screamed, begged and prayed to god to bring Mulder back; safe and unharmed. She had cried out his name. She wanted him back. Just for a moment. To hold him close just for a while, touch his beautiful face and kiss his soft lips. But her prayers remained unheard.

 

That day angels cried for Fox Mulder.

This was her private hell. Dana Scully stood by his grave and every piece of her was aching. She wanted to scream; this is not right! It wasn’t supposed to end like this! She wanted to run and hide herself away from the world. But she stood there calm. She was so cold and nothing could make her warm again. Beside her stood her mother holding a close eye on her. When Dana had been young it was her mother she had turned to when a boy had broken her heart. But she couldn’t do that this time. She hadn’t the strength to but words to her feelings. She wanted to be alone. She wanted this pain. She wanted to spend time with her memories. She wanted….

As they lowered his coffin into that black hole that would be his final rest something inside of her broke. Scully felt it so strong that she almost cried out. This was goodbye.  She was alone again. Tears caressed slowly her cheeks. She kneeled down beside his grave in a final attempt of being close to him and screamed his name to the heavens. She couldn’t take this! She couldn’t survive this! She couldn’t breath!

And rain kept on falling.

 

 

 

Two week earlier.

 

It was daybreak. She could hear him breathing. She loved watching him sleep. His beautiful face was so calm then. She looked at his lips and remembered how soft they could be. She wanted to touch him. But she didn’t want to wake him. Not yet. Dana Scully walked slowly to her kitchen and made herself a cup of coffee. She went up to the kitchen window and smiled at the morning sun.

-         There you are.

His voice woke her from her daydreaming. He came up behind her and but his strong arms around her. She loved when he did that. She felt so safe when he was near. Like nothing in the world come harm her if he was close.

She smelled wonderful. She always did. She was his angel. Fox Mulder closed his eyes. He loved being so close to her. He would never regret that day when they took their relationship to this level. He had found his heaven and he fallen more in love with her then ever before. It that was possible.

-         Come back to bed, he pleaded.

-         It’s morning.

She laughed and turned around. She smiled and put her arms around his waste. He smiled back and said:

-         Come back to bed. It’s still early. He kissed her nose and whispered her name.

-         You’ll make me late to dinner with mother.

-         O, she can wait a while. She knows that you’re in good hands.

Then he kissed her. His lips were soft as silk but yet demanding. He lifted her up in his arms and carried of to bed. His passion was so strong that it sometimes scared her. His hands had the power to break down all her defensives. With just one touch he owned her. She gave herself completely to desire.

 She tasted like heaven. Mulder had never felt such passion as he did when she was close. Sometimes it felt like the blood that was running through his veins were on fire. When she touched his skin it felt like he would burst. Her touch was a touch of an angel. She traced his lips with her fingers. Slowly, without saying a word. Then she kissed him. They fell into each other. She offered herself totally and opened herself up to him as a flower. Slowly he filled her. In that moment when they came together he saw something in her eyes that not yet had been spoken; a love that he had longed for, a love he needed to survive. He pressed deeper and deeper into her until they both went over the edge to heaven.

 

Mulder slipped from her bed without waking her. She was so beautiful that almost caused him physical pain. Just to hold her close was the peace his soul needed. She alone had chased away the nightmares and brought light to his life again. She kept him sane. He tried so hard to show her in every way that he would never leave her. But something held him back from telling her what was in his heart. Maybe that was his weakness. He was afraid to chase her away, to crush this wonderful world they had created together. In every breath he took he showed her how much he loved her.

He had already left when she woke up. She wasn’t mad. She cherished every moment the spent together. Many people had said that he wasn’t worth fighting for. That he only would cause her pain. Maybe she should have run as far away as possible. She didn’t run. She fell in love. But it took several years for her to admit what was in her heart. She had been afraid of what it would do to their relationship but most of all she had been afraid of getting her heart broken again. Even though she knew that he would never hurt her willingly she still feared for her heart. He was so much apart of her these days that losing him would be like losing apart of herself.

 

It had been two months since that day when he decided that he had had enough of those stolen kisses. He wanted all of her. He had been so scared that day that he almost couldn’t move. But somehow he had taken the step and asked her out. Mulder smiled when he remembered the look on her face when he had asked her that. But she had given him the most beautiful smile he had ever seen and said yes. From that day his life changed. Being with her was blessing from god.

  He remembered how it felt when she told him she had cancer. He could walk through fire for her. But when she stood there with such sorrow in her eyes telling him that she might die he had felt so powerless. His legs felt like Jell-O and it felt like someone had stabbed him in the heart. He couldn’t believe that he might lose her. Not again. Not after he had found her. He wanted to kiss her and hold her close. But he had been scared that she might push him away and that she didn’t need him. In that moment he couldn’t remember his life before her. He was never alive until that day he was blessed with her.

When she was in the hospital and faced death he felt like dying. He didn’t know what to do. It took all his strength to not break down and cry in front of her. She looked so small and fragile that he almost was afraid of kissing her cheek. When she told him that she was willing to take the fall for him his heart ached. He just wanted to cry. He couldn’t let her do that. She was so strong even when she was facing death.

  That night was the longest night in his life. It felt like something was slowly pulling his soul apart. He was lost. He was fumbling in darkness. He had been willing to sell his soul to the devil to save her life. When he had gotten the news that her cancer had gone into remission he thanked god for giving him another chance.

Since then he had vowed that he would never let her slip away.

When she stood in his apartment telling him that she was leaving he was so hurt. He wanted to fight for her. So he had followed her; trying to convince her that she was someone special. He wanted to tell right then and there what was in his heart. But he couldn’t bring himself to say those three small words. When she stood in front of him crying he almost couldn’t take it. He wanted to kiss away her tears. But yet again fear got in the way. But he had been so close to kissing her that he almost could feel the warmth of her lips.   

Mulder smiled when he remembered the chock upon Scully’s face when he had told her that he loved her. It had been the truth. He had never been clear . They hadn’t mentioned that since then. But it was still there lingering between them.

He took the roses he just had paid for and ran out of the store. People would later say that it looked like he had stares in his eyes. It was such a beautiful day. He wanted to hurry home to her. He smiled when he crossed the street. He never saw the car and the driver never saw him until it was to late. The car hit him in the hip and he went flying. He hit the windscreen of the car at such velocity that he broke his neck. He died instantly.

 

It felt like a lightning struck her right in heart when the phone rang. It was Walter Skinner.

-         Scully, I have bad news.

She couldn’t breath. Her heart went racing.

-         It’s Mulder. You should come down to the hospital.

She drove like maniac through the streets of the city. Fear took a hold of her heart as she entered the hospital and saw Skinner and her mother waiting there.

-         Where is he?

-         Scully, calm down. Skinner took her by the shoulders and shook her slowly.

-         I don’t want to calm down. Tell me what’s wrong! Where’s Mulder?

-         It has been an accident…the driver never saw him…

Pain struck her heart and she stumbled backwards.

-         I want to see him!

-         Darling, I think it….

-         Mum, I want to see him! She screamed.

Scully felt dizzy, as she was lead in to a room where they had prepared his body. Still in death he was so beautiful. She ran to his side and took his hand. It was so cold. She whispered his name and she kept expecting him to open his beautiful eyes, smile and say that this was joke.

- He broke his neck…He died instantly, Walter Skinner voice brought her back to reality.

Her eyes was filled with tears as she turned around and said:

-         Please, let me be alone for a while.

Skinner nodded and reached out his big hand.

-         A nurse found this in his jacket.

It was a ring. The most beautiful ring she ever saw.

-         You shouldn’t be alone now, darling. Maggie Scully wanted to run and take her daughter into her arms.

-         Please, mum. Go with Skinner.

Scully took the ring. Her hands were shaking. Skinner and Maggie Scully exited the room quietly. She was crying now. She kneeled down beside his bed.  The pain that struck her heart when she read the rings inscription was so massive that she stopped breathing for a while. It read: You have my heart – Yours forever  - Mulder.  She screamed in pain and buried her face in her hands. He had phoned her earlier and said he had a surprise for her. She had never thought, never believed that…

She slipped the ring on to her finger. It fitted perfectly. She couldn’t breath. She leaned forward and kissed his cold lips. She wanted to stay by his side forever. She belonged there. God had given him to her to love and cherish. But she had let him slip through her fingers. She had failed. She crawled up beside him in the bed and took him into her arms. She pressed him close to her heart as she whispered those words she been too afraid of telling him:

- I love you, Mulder.

And outside the window the moon came out to play.

 

 

Two weeks later

 

Dana Scully stood by her window and watched the rain pouring down outside. She had told her mother that she needed to be alone and her mother and accepted that.

Her apartment was filled with memories. His scent was in every corner. She kept on imagining that last night together. If she just closed her eyes she could feel his lips on her. Her body ached. She remembered his face so clearly that she almost could imagine him in front of her. She knew his touch by heart. 

  What was the point of going on? He wasn’t there beside her to fight the fight against evil. He was the part that made her hole. He was her soul mate, her lover and best friend. She had lost him. He was gone. She hadn’t the strength to go one without him. She didn’t want go on without him. She loved him. She needed him.

She fell down crying beside her bed. Inside her head voices whispered that he had died without knowing what she felt. She screamed out in pain, as it felt like her whole chest would explode. She had never feared loneliness as she did now.  She was so tired of feeling like this. She hadn’t the strength to fight back the pain and sorrow that filled her mind and body. She couldn’t survive this. She wanted to be close to him again. She wanted to hold him and kiss his beautiful face again. Her place was by his side.

  She wasn’t afraid as she opened the drawer of her night table and took out the gun. She saw clearer than ever before. She placed the gun to her head. She closed her eyes and prayed to god to deliver her to him. Then she fired.

 

 

      

 

It was snowing that day they laid her down to rest beside him. Maggie Scully stood by her daughter’s grave and prayed that she had found what she was looking for. Beside her stood Walter Skinner. His face was gray and he looked older than he really was.

-         I never thought it would end like this.

His voice was almost a whisper.

Maggie Scully looked him straight into his eyes. Her eyes were filled with tears.

-         I hope they both have found peace.

-         I hope so.

-         I like to think they are sitting up in heaven smiling down on us.

Mrs. Scully lifted her face towards heaven, smiled and said:

-         I will miss you, darling….

Then she took Walter Skinners hand and they started walk towards the car.

 

 

 

 

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