Title: Moving mountains Author: Jessica Email: j_rothen@yahoo.se Distribution: Wherever...just let me know where Spoilers: None Rating: PG Feedback: YES please....j_rothen@yahoo.se Pairing: Lorelai/Luke Disclaimer:I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS. Summary: Follows "Falling apart". Will Lorelai admit what she is feeling? AUTHORS NOTE: English is not my first language so spelling/ grammar mistakes may occur. I'm strong enough to mend my heart. I have done it before. I'll do it again. This is not the end for me. I will rise again. I just wish that I could find a way to drive her out of my heart. It's a matter of survival. _____________________ Days pass by so slowly. I have found myself walking by the diner several times. I have wanted to go in. To explain. To talk to him. But not even his coffee could make me face him. So I stand outside watching him. Longing for him. But I leave before he notice me, to go back to the life I cling to. _____________________ I know she is near. I have never seen her but I can feel her. I go about my day like nothing has happened. The diner is my all. I put my heart and soul into the task of driving her out of my head and heart. I will not miss her. The days pass by so slowly. I serve my customers. I quarrel with Taylor. Life is back to normal. I will not miss her. ________________________ I went to her to try to heal a broken heart. I wanted to be saved. Sookie was sitting on her coach with a cup of coffee in one hand. I was sitting by her side her feeling lost. "He said that he loved me..." "Oh. Honey!" I turned away from her. I could still hear his words ringing in my ear. "That is wonderful. Or not?" "Oh, I don't know. He wanted me. He wanted me despite all my faults. But I hesitated..." "Oh, honey. You shouldn't blame yourself." "But you don't understand. I was afraid." "Afraid of what?" I rose from the coach and walked up to the window. It felt like someone was slowly ripping out my heart. "That this would just be another one of those failed relationships." "It's Luke. He has loved you for as long as I can remember." I turned to her. Tears made my sight blurry. "What if I make a mistake? What if he isn't the one? I couldn't take him hating me." Sookie put down the cup on the coffee table and rose. She walked up to me and took my hand. "What does your heart tell you?" I was crying now. "I don't know.....I love him." "Then go to him and tell him that." "But I thought I was in love with Max. I loved him. And look how that turned out." "This is Luke. Your friend. He knows you by heart. And you know him." "I know...." "Go to him. Take a chance." "I can't. I can't do that to him and not to Rory." "But what if he's the ONE. How will you know?" "He kissed me..." "Yeah..I saw that..." I was smiling when I let myself remember. "When he touched me....I felt like I was ready to explode." "Sparks was flying that night..." "God, Sookie.. He has this power over me. When he touch me I want to surrender and forget the world for a while." "You love him. You want him. Admit it!" "Admit what!? That he's my friend. That I value his opinion...That he makes me smile..." "You love him...Why can't you just tell him that?" "Because this is not high school, Sookie. What if things doesn't work out? Rory would be crushed... and I....dead.." "Don't say that. You have to take a chance." "I'm too old for chances...I can't take another heartbreak." "You can't go into a relationship expecting your heart to be broken.." "But..." "It's Luke...He would never willingly hurt you...He loves you." "It's too late now. He hates me." "He could never hate you." "I could never take him hating me.." "Go to him and tell him the truth." "I'm afraid." "Your the bravest person I know. You can do this." "But what if he doesn't want me anymore?" "Believe me, he wants you. You can see it in his eyes. It's written across his face. He misses you. He wants you." I smiled and brushed away the tears with the back of my hand. "He better..." Sookie smiled and gave me a hug. I would go to him and try to win his heart again. _________________ I had a hard time breathing as I walked the path to the diner. It was close to closing time. He was standing behind the counter when I walked through the door. He looked up and our eyes met. "I was just about to close. I'm all out of coffee." It was time to win his heart. "I want to talk." He walked past me and turned the opening-sign to closed. His arm brushes mine and I tremble. He continued to clean the tables and put away the dishes. "So talk." I reached out my hand and took his hand in mine. "Luke, please stop." He turned to me. "What?!" He had this wall around his heart. I could see it rising before my eyes. "I want to explain." "You don't have to." He broke free from my grasp and walked over to the counter. "Please, Luke. This isn't easy for me." He turned to me. Anger painted his eyes in dark colours. "You think it was easy for me telling you that I loved you.!? I opened myself up totally and you just...." "I came to tell you the truth..." I was so tired of all smart remarks. It was time to tell him what was in my heart. No more hiding. "What truth?" I couldn't speak the words I had come to say. I saw disappointment in his eyes. He turned away from me. "Oh, just get out of here. I never thought I might say that to you. But I don't want to see you. You have played this game one time too many.." "What game?" "This! You come in here every day, smiling, laughing, flirting. You weal them in. But then when you have them on the hook you smash their hearts and you expect them to rise and say thank you. Do you enjoy it, Lorelai? Do you enjoy breaking peoples hearts? I bet you do!" He walked towards me. Anger. Pride. Hurt. Sorrow. Longing. All those emotions painted his face. "Don't say that" He was so close now. My heart was racing in my chest. "It's the truth, isn't?! You didn't love Max. Did you love Rory's dad? Or was is it just a game for you?" The pain ate at my heart and I tried to back away. But there was no way to run now. My past came back to haunt me all at once. "Stop it! Stop it!!!" "You talk about truth. You don't know what the word is!" "Damn you, Luke. Damn you!" I pushed him away from me. He stumbled backwards. His voice sounded hoarse as he spoke. "Why did you come here, Lorelai? To make amends? But it's too late now. We can't go back.." "Luke, I.." "No. I don't want to hear it! Look at me! Look at me, Lorelai." He walked up to me and looked into my eyes. I trembled as he took my hand and placed it over his heart. Tears filled my eyes as he spoke: "Can you feel it? Can you feel it, Lorelai? My heart is shattered. You did it. You're the reason." He let go of my hand and backed away from me. "Luke, I love you." His face turned to stone in a second. "Don't ever say that again." I moved towards him. Needed to touch him. I needed to make him understand. "It's the truth." "No. You lie." I reached out my hand but he avoided my touch. "I have never felt like this before." He looked at me. Pride glowed in his eyes. "That night in the diner.. When you told me... I was so scared. I froze. I have had so many bad relationship that I feared that this might be just one of them." Tears marked my face as I continued: "But I never realized...That I was in love with you. I never thought.. it could happen. When I was a kid I dreamt about the perfect love. I dreamt about my prince. But I never thought it might take me so long to find it. But I found it. I found you..." I moved towards him. I refused to surrender. I would not lose this fight. I would never let him go. Not again. Not ever. "I love you, Luke Danes. I was too blind to see it before. I was too scared to see what was right in front of me. But if you let me I will love you as long as I..." "Stop. Stop it!" "Please, Luke..." "No." I could see tears in his eyes. It felt like I was ready to explode. "Luke.." "You broke my heart, Lorelai. I never thought you could hurt me the way you did." "I'm sorry." He moved towards me. His hands trembled as he reached out and wiped away my tears with his thumb. His touch made my heart tremble in my chest. "I vowed that I would stay away from you, Lorelai. I thought that I could push you out of my head and heart. I failed. You're in my system. You are the only one I see." "I love you, Luke. Please, forgive me." He smiled and said: "Always. I love you." Then he kissed me. I surrendered under his touch. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled my closer. Falling. Longing. He ran his tongue against my lips inviting me to let me in. I surrendered with a sigh. Tasting. Meeting. Touching. Loving. We melted together. I knew that we belonged together. We parted. I rested my head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me. I felt so safe, like nothing could ever harm me. "Don't you ever leave me." "Never." I will never let him go. I will hold on to him that not even death can part us. He is mine. I smiled and looked up at him. "Take me to bed or lose me forever." He laughed. He lifted me up on strong arms and carried me upstairs to his apartment. _______________________ FEEDBACK...j_rothen@yahoo.se PLEASE REVIEW!!!! * I'm looking for a beta-reader. Interested? Please e-mail me!