Title: Cry (4/4) - The end of the road Author: Jessica ( j_rothen@yahoo.se ) Rating: PG Category: Doggett/Scully, V Feedback: Yes please, j_rothen@yahoo.se Spoiler: Release Archive: Wherever, just let me know where Website: www.geocities.com/jlovesxfiles Summary: Doggett writes a letter to his son to say goodbye. Disclaimer: The X-files, Mulder and Scully belong to FOX and they are not mine. Note: English is not my first language so spelling/grammar mistake may occur. "Through the darkness I can see your light And you will always shine And I can feel your heart in mine Your face I've memorized I idolize just you." (From "You're still you" sung by Josh Groban) --------------------------------------------------------- Cry ( 4/4) - The end of the road The sun makes its presence known in my room as I write the words I have to say. "This is a letter of goodbye. But I don't know how to say goodbye to you. I fear sometimes that I will forget your face, how your hand felt in mine and how your laughter always made me crumble. Maybe I shouldn't fear. You will always live in my heart. You are a part of me now. Don't forget that, wherever you are. Sometimes I fall back into my old habits and I weep for you. I weep for the years we will not have. I will never see your smile again, never see your lovely face. I will never see you graduate from collage and I will never see you married. You took my heart when you left. You ribbed it out of my chest. I don't blame you for leaving. It was never your choice. I blame god. Why does he spare some and let others parish too soon? What is the lesson to be learned? I have chased ghost since the day you were taken from me. I have followed leads that lead nowhere and I have followed leads that lead to only more questions. But I never got any answers to my questions. Maybe I'll never will. Maybe god, if there is a god, will keep that answer for himself. Maybe you were never mine in the fist place. Maybe you were just meant to grace us with your presence for a little while to teach us about the love in the world. I believe so. I used to be so angry at the world. I'm that no longer. The passing of time has made the hole in my heart smaller but I think it will never ever be completely closed. But the people that I have met during my wander through life has helped me to see the love I'm capable of giving. They taught me about the strength in loving and that nothing can hold love back, not even death. So don't worry my son. I will be just fine. For the first time in a long time I'm looking forward to the future. I have learned how to smile. I know that you are safe. Angels are guarding you. Is it beautiful where you are? Do you fly high above the clouds? If you do, don't think you can't visit. I would love to have you. I would love to hold again. But I know one thing. We'll meet again. Until than, believe me when I say that I love you. You have my heart. When my time on this earth is up I will go with no regrets. No shackles will hold me down when I finally enter the sweet release that is heaven. I have just one question; will you wait for me? But for now. Goodbye, my son. I love you, Daddy." I rise from my chair and walk up to the window. It's morning. A new day is born. I vowed that I one day would find his killer and make him pay for what he did. I will break that promise here and now. I will not let evil pull me down. I will not let anyone hold me back from living life to the fullest. I know that he will pay one day, but not by my hand. I will not let hate cloud my heart any longer. I have a great life. I have reached my goals. I'm a FBI- agent. I'm free to live the life that I want to live. Goodbye, sorrow. Goodbye, pain. You were never my friends. I have just one more think to say, only one promise to give. Someday I will show her all the love I have inside and I swear that I will love her until the day I die. Feedback------please-----j_rothen@yahoo.se