Mr. George Costanza
George Louis Costanza, what a character. If you are a fan of his
Then you love him. But like so many I personally love to hate him.
But then again I do respect and follow some of his commandments. Like for example
he will not date anyone smarter than he is (Like it is possible for someone to be smarter
than he is) He is a short, stocky, cheap man that lives with his parents.
I love the fact that he is a compulsive liar, and I love the fact that his seems
to get deeper and deeper into those lies till he actually starts to believe them.
Here are George's 10 commandments for Working Hard
Never walk without a document in your hands People with
documents in their hands look like hardworking employees
heading for important meetings. People with nothing in
their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria.
People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're
heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry
loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false
impression that you work longer hours than you do.
Use computers to look busy Any time you use a computer,
it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive
personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything
remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that
the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but
they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you will
get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to
use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.
Messy desk Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest
of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents
around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's
work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming
to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and
rummage for it when he/she arrives.
Voice Mail Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call
you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because
they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls
through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds
like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it
looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.
Looking Impatient and Annoyed According to George Costanza, one should also always
try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always
busy.
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could
read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until
late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important
emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.
Creative Sighing for Effect Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving
the impression that you are under extreme pressure.
Stacking Strategy It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put
lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).
Build Vocabulary Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon
and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They
don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.
MOST IMPORTANT: DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!! Words to live by!
(TGIF!!!)
Videos of George
George becomes a marine biologist
George is lord of the idiots
George and his mom are out there
Sounds of Geroge
Costanza wants details from Jerry
Georges answering machine