Little Rock, Arkansas educators, after learning that Oakland, California educators have started classes teaching ethnic slang, have decided there is also a need to designate southern slang as a geographic language. Ergo, "Hickphonics"
Here is a sampling from the new Arkansas Hickphonics dictionary now being compiled:
HEIDI - noun. greeting.
HIRE YEW - complete sentence. remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?"
BARD - verb. past tense of "to borrow". Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - noun. a state just north of Florida. Capital is Lanna. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
BAMMER - noun. state just west of Jawjuh. Usage: "A tornader went thru bammer 'n left $20 million in improvements."
MUNTS - noun. a calendar division. Usage: "My brother from
Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and I ain't herd from him in munts."
THANK - verb. ability to cognitively process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
BARE - noun. an alcoholic beverage. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
IGNERT - adjective. not smart. see "Arkansas native". Usage: "Some of those Bammer boys sure are ignert."
RANCH - noun. a tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "I
thank I left my ranch in the back of my pickup truck that my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL - noun. a petroleum-based product. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - noun. a conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in the pickup truck he bard, that thangs gonna catch far."
TAR - noun. a rubber wheel. Usage: "I hope my brother from Jawjuh don' git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
TARRED - adverb. Exhausted. Usage: "I just flew in from Lanna, and boy are my arms tarred."
FARN - adjective. not from here. Usage: "I can't unnerstant a wurd he sed. He must be from sum farn cuntry."
DID - adjective. not alive. Usage: "He ain't breathin.' Must be did."
EAR - noun. a colorless gas (except in LA.) Usage: "I'm gonna go outside fer some fresh ear!"
BOB WAR - noun. a sharp twisted cable. Usage: "Stay away from that bob war fence."
JEW HERE - noun and verb contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence company?"