I contacted the TTTS Foundation as soon as we got home. I received a large booklet all about TTTS and its therapies the following morning. That day, Friday, we went back up see Dr. Pryde to discuss our plan of action. I had a list of about a dozen questions for him. When all was said and done, we had scheduled a cord ligation with a Dr. Tony Johnson in Detroit, Michigan. He would terminate Joelle by tying a suture, like a knot, in her umbilical cord. Once she passed away, this procedure would spare Jordan since it would thus prevent her from bleeding into her deceased twin.
Although Dr. DeLia, who pioneered the laser surgery and operates close by in Milwaukee, was an option, because of the orientation of my placenta (anterior - on the abdomen wall), he would have to make a very large incision and actually take out my uterus since he is not able to work endoscopically. The idea of virtually being gutted and my uterus being manipulated like that made Jamie especially nervous, yet he was very much against the cord ligation. And although the thought of the cord ligation made me sick to my stomach, my feelings were I'd rather have one angel here on earth than two in Heaven. But I was haunted by thoughts...how long will it take for Joelle to die? I was thinking too, whenever she kicks, will that be her last?
Having scheduled a cord ligation with Dr. Johnson in Detroit for the coming Monday, we left Friday's appointment distraught beyond words. Jamie was quiet, and I couldn't stop crying. I sobbed all day. It was the most grievous day of my life. Tears flood my eyes to even think back to that day.
That night I was racked with horrible nightmares. In particular, I dreamt I heard Joelle crying, and when I found her I couldn't untie this huge knot that was in her umbilical cord. In my dream I picked Joelle up and ran up to doctor after doctor pleading with him to untie the knot, but no one would. I woke up crying. I was overwhelmed by feelings of sadness and helplessness.
It was now very early Sabbath morning. Careful not to wake up Jamie, I took my Bible and crept into the nursery where the two matching fully furnished cribs sat. I slumped to the floor in tears and prayed. I came across the Bible passage Ecclesiastes 3. It talked about how there is "a time to be born, and a time to die." I instantly realized why this all felt so wrong. It is God that should determine when someone dies, not man. This cord ligation would have actively ended the life of one of our daugthers. There had to be a way to at least try and save both of them!
While Jamie was at church, I called several people around the country, including a lady in Florida who had been a patient of Dr. Ruben Quintero, a doctor who specializes in the life saving endoscopic fetal laser surgery. It was after talking with her that I felt a huge burden lift from my shoulders. I knew we had to go to Tampa, Florida and see Dr. Qunitero.
The following day, Sunday, a pastor friend afforded us round-trip plane tickets to Tampa for Tuesday. It affirmed that this was indeed God's will for us because it normally takes months in advance to get flights like ours. It was a miracle that we were able to get these last minute flights especially during such a busy season. We purchased the non-refundable $3000 tickets on faith since it was not yet confirmed if Dr. Qunitero would even be able to perform surgery on me that week.
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