I saw today. So many years, so many years on this Earth, and today I finally began to see. I have lived my entire life blind. What is it like to be blind? Why do you ask me, you already know.

I have long considered myself a sort of intellectual. Perhaps it is my pride, but I believed that in my contemplations I understood concepts that most could not. I now see that I am correct, but it is without pride; that has long since left.

After finishing my dinner, I sat with a cup of tea as I read a book of essays. As was custom, I began to slip into my contemplations. I examined various beliefs and social quirks. I was aware that this particular session was proving to be especially productive. In an almost fervent manner, I continued to pursue my thinking. I delved deeper and deeper, discovering concepts that I had never before imagined, beginning to see more clearly. Then suddenly, everything came together. I spoke aloud one sentence, and that sentence contained all. I never would have thought that society, life, the entire universe, could be explained in a single sentence. I never imagined that one sentence could change my life. One sentence, only one sentence.

The implications slowly seeped into me. As I sat in the chair I could feel myself change, so many beliefs that only half-explained the truth were tossed aside, while others were significantly strengthened. After some amount of time, I became aware that my surroundings had also changed. At first, I could not place what had changed. As I had said, I had finished eating dinner, meaning that the time was early evening. Outside should have begun to grow dark, but I realized that it was no darker than before I had eaten. The difference was not huge, my clock being one-hour ahead could have accounted for the light outside. However, something more seemed out of place, but I could not find it. It was as though everything in my room had changed, not a large amount, but simply a small, noticeable amount. Slightly perplexed, and still on an almost mental high from my experience, I decided to take a walk.

I opened the front door and stepped outside into the city, and the sight nearly drove me to my knees. People walked along the sidewalk in front of me, people I recognized, going through their normal routine, nothing amiss to them. How could they simply walk along when the world looked like this? Could they not see?

As I stood on the stoop, I tried to take in my surroundings without vomiting, without fainting, and slowly realization began to dawn on me. The one sentence� I had felt myself changed, but I had not realized how much so. Everything began to make sense when I looked at my current situation with my previous experience in mind. I now saw the world as it is, as it truly is. I was finally seeing reality, I was finally seeing.

How could I describe reality to you? It is most definitely beyond my vocabulary, and I would assume that it is beyond your comprehension. No, I could not possibly explain this; describe your world to you. I could only describe it to one who has also seen it, and then of course I would have no need to do so. Besides, you would not believe me, I know you would not, and perhaps it is better that way.

As I stood on the stoop, two main discrepancies stood out to me that I could explain. The first is that I was correct; the sky should have been dark. The street lamps were glowing, and all the drivers had their headlights on. Yet, the sky was as bright as midday, in fact, the sun stood nearly overhead. I checked my watch, and when I was still in disbelief, I asked a man the time as he passed by me. I had gone out this same time yesterday to buy groceries at a local store. I remember the sky was clear yesterday, and I remember that it was dark.

As you know, we are in the season of winter. I come from a place where they have a real winter, but this city still has a decent one. The temperature is by no means extremely cold, but nevertheless still cold, and snow stands on every corner. All those I saw wore jackets, and many wore boots and a hat. Yet I was positive that should I take off the jacket that I had put on for my walk, I would feel no discomfort. I heard a scraping noise and looked to my left to find a man shoveling the walk. What he was shoveling I could not say, for no snow covered the walk. In fact, I could not see snow anywhere, not even when the snowplow passed by in a shower of sparks.

Still in shock from my experience, I retired to my home. Eventually, I covered the window in my bedroom in order to fall asleep. When I awoke this morning, not knowing what else to do, I went to work.

I have long believed that everything in society is arbitrary, that society is an artificial construction designed to keep people in check. Today did nothing to refute this. I could tell you my occupation, but it would make no difference; they are all the same.

My eight hours at work proved very difficult for me. I tried to act as though nothing was wrong, as though I was normal. I restrained myself from leaving the building screaming; I almost felt as though I was going crazy. No, no, I was not going crazy; I was going sane in a crazy world. I could not accomplish anything today, though now I wonder if I had ever truly accomplished anything in my years of work.

Throughout the day, as others worked or talked to one another, to me, I wanted to yell, to ask, to plead, �Don�t you ever look around? Can�t you see?� Yet, I know the answer. If they could see what I can, they would be somewhere else and most definitely they would not worry about that which they do.

Do you remember when you were a child and you would play in the sandbox? Something little happened and you became extremely upset, maybe you even destroyed your friend�s sandcastle in your fit of childish anger. You look back on that now, as you do your years in high school, or even college. You shake your head and laugh, thinking that you worried about the littlest things back then, but now you have grown up, now you know. You do not see that you are wrong. You never grew, you only changed; you never moved vertically, only horizontally. You are too blind to see that you never left the sandbox. Worse yet, is that because you think that you have left, that you have grown, you will not try to do so, and you will remain forever a child in a sandbox. You are too blind to see, too blind to leave.

I am not patronizing you. I now see that only a day ago I still lived in the sandbox. Then that one sentence and I could see. I could see that I was a child in a sandbox and I stepped out. An entire world exists beyond and it is scary and ugly, but it is the truth, it is real. No, I am not speaking out of pride; I have none. I once did, most definitely I had pride. But I left it behind in the sandbox, it has no use, it never did, it is only one more wall that people place between themselves and others, between themselves and the truth. Pride and vanity have no purpose, if people could really see themselves and the things of which they are proud, they would realize how pathetic and childish they are. I know I did when I could finally see myself. I was once a blind child, now I am simply a child. Nothing more, maybe less. It never ends.

I once read that seeing was a learned process. As you may expect, I agree with that now more than ever. However, I wonder where did this deception begin and how can it be so complete? As I walked home from work, I saw a mother telling her child to come into the house and put on a hat and gloves lest they catch a cold while playing in the snow. Thus, the answers to my questions were quite clear. I do not blame the parents; they are simply doing as they were raised, as were their parents, and those before them. Had I children, I know that I too would have raised them in a similar fashion, raised them blind. We are a product of our environment, and not only the real one. Furthermore, not only the parents contribute to this deception; your family, your friends, your coworkers, the man on the corner that sells you a hot dog. Everyone you ever meet contributes to your blindness, as you likewise contribute to theirs. The system is self-preserving, maintaining itself indefinitely. One man can do nothing. All that I have written is true, but everyone that you know will tell you otherwise. I can do nothing. I cannot save you, I do not even know if I can save myself.

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. That is not true; in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man cannot conform, cannot be happy, and cannot live. Even if he were to remove his eye, he would not alleviate himself of his affliction. For he knows; he has seen the world and he can never erase that image from his mind. Ignorance may be bliss, but once you know, you can never go back. I do not even know that a lobotomy would save me of the impending insanity, or is it impending sanity? No, only one thing can do that. In all my years, I never thought that it would come to this.

How could all of this have happened from one sentence, only once sentence? Do you wonder what that sentence is; do you want that I would tell you? Do not give me a superficial yes. Ask yourself the question and think about it, honestly think about it. After what little I have described to you, and hinted at all the things that I cannot, would you really want to know? Imagine yourself standing alone in a dark room and you are content. Imagine that I could turn on the light and show you the floor was covered. Covered with that which you find most upsetting, most frightening, be it snakes, spiders, or rats. In the light you can do nothing to prevent it, you cannot leave the room, but you can see. In the dark you are content, you will never know, you are blind. Tell me truly, would you want me to turn on the light? I think not, I think that none can honestly answer yes. Perhaps in the dark, in their pride, in their self-proclaimed search for the truth, but in the light, when they can see, none could want it. If you would ask for the light, it is because you do not fully understand the question. I could not tell you, I could not condemn you to that fate. If you still want to know, perhaps you can discover it on your own for I managed to do so. I can only hope that you never succeed.

Why do I write this if I am to tell you nothing and you cannot understand? After all my years of isolation and self-reliance, I now want someone with whom I can talk, someone who can help me. The irony; when I could have found someone, I did not want to do so, and now that no one exists whom can help me, I would give anything for someone who could understand me. I do not mean that in the clich� sense, I honestly mean what I say. I would give absolutely anything in my power for a moment with someone who knows of what I was speaking, simply to see in their eyes an understanding. To know that I am not alone. However, I cannot have that, so I write to you. Who are you? How many days has my residence been quiet before someone investigated? Are you my neighbor, a colleague, or a coworker? What will you do once you finish reading this? Will you show it to a friend, or simply throw it into the wastebasket? I am reminded of The Planet of the Apes, not the movie, but the book. Will the newspaper write that I suffered from a nervous breakdown, or perhaps I went through a midlife crisis?

I do not know why I ask you so many questions; I shall never know the answers, nor would they help me if I did know.

I saw today. So many years, so many years on this Earth, and yesterday I finally began to see. I have lived my entire life blind. What is it like to be blind? Look around.

This story is what eventually resulted from a previous and much different idea for a story. That idea was inspired in part by "Thanks a Lot" a song from Third Eye Blind's self-titled, debut album:

It's all in your mind,
She said the darkness and the light.