First off I just wanted to thank Mike from corner room for providing us with the Bowling party last Saturday. I'm sure all 14 of us which attended had a relaxing time.

Second and lastly I wanted to present the idea of changing how the cell block house government could work in the future. If you haven't already heard my ideas, you might be able to guess that I am referring to having one position serve the position as Dictator of Cell Block. If one person was in charge of everything just imagine how easy making decisions and organizing hall events would be. One person would be completely knowledgeable of our finances, the upcoming social events, and the current happenings of MHA because our Dictator would still be forced to attend those highly anticipated bi-weekly meetings.
I think moving toward this format of hall government could see that more things get done. The Dictator could always appoint cooperative individuals to perform tasks as he sees fit to spread the burden of responsibility when necessary. Fulfilling a demanding position such as a dictator ship defiantly requires more responsibility and leadership skills than any puppet government president, so this would not be an easy role for just any one. And what are the rewards for those who may feel up to the challenge you ask, well just imagine the pride you could walk away with when you have earned the right to include Dictator of Cell Block Residence House on your resume.
It has been a dream of mine to see the Dictatorship of Cell Block come to life during the past four years of my residence, and I would like to strongly encourage our current President, Mr. Steve Malek, to grab the wheel and steer our residence house into the 2004-2005 academic year with a governmental system unlike any other in MHA, a governing system far superior to everything associated with MHA. These are my parting thoughts, please encourage Mr. Malek to become the father of Dictatorship, and provide all returning students a better life in the Cell Block residence house. Thanks you.
This message has not yet been approved by Steve Malek.

Howie Smith
Cell Block Vice President
12 more days till graduation

Viva la revoluc�on!
Viva el presidente Steve-o!
Down with the Bourgeoisie!
Peace, Land and Bread.
Viva, Viva!

(I'm on board)
Zitzer

It has come to my attention now that after one year of using this email provider, nobody can figure out that replying to the cellblock list is stupid. If I wanted everyones opinion I would ask for it. This is not an open forum to tell me and everybody that the party would work good on saturday or sunday. Most people don't care. If you don't know how to reply to the person that is asking the question get off your ass and talk to them face to face.

Thank you all for your oh so precious time,
Party Bitch

Well I would like to agree with you Pete, I am aware that this reply is going to the entire list and I certainly do understand that some people may not be interested in the contents of this message one bit. I too understand what it is like to get a pile of messages that I do not desire to receive every day, and I solve my problem with selectively deleting messages with irrelevant subject matter to me. I would guess everyone living in this hall, including me, gets probably 20 spam mails a day which usually include advertisements for natural viagra, medicine for toe nail fungus, scholarship and job spams, and my favorite the people who want to provide me with a mortgage for my 156 West McNair property. So if the world was a perfect place there might be no spam and everyone could be happy.

To defend the other side of this issue, since I get twenty spam messages a day, what is the harm in receiving another message a few times a week which can simply be ignored like the rest. But if you choose to read them they just might be informative or entertaining. I'm glad I chose to read Pete's email because I enjoyed his point of view. Sometimes this little old email list is one of the only ways everyone in the hall can communicate, and I don't see any harm in that. Based on yesterdays little email I now that this guy down the hall, named Tom Ziter whom I barley know or hardly ever see, shares the same views on communism as I do. We might have to collaborate sometime, but messages like this allow residents like to me and you to get involved in activities and interact with our artificial society we refer to as dorm life. You all have a good day.

Howie Smith
Cell Block Vice President
11 days till graduation, only 1 more day that I have any commitments up here at Michigan Tech

I would like to say that I am glad that Howie sent this e-mail out to the list, for had he only replied to pete, I would have been unaware of it's very relevant contents. But instead Howie was astute enough to realize that though I had not explicitly expressed my desire to hear his opinion, I may yet be interested in hearing what he has to say. For if we say that if we wanted another's opinion we would ask for it, we find ourselves in a paradox. How can we ask for another's relevant opinion on a subject if we are unaware that they have one, and if we were already aware we would need not ask. La oscuridad cr�a la oscuridad.

I have been receiving e-mails concerning mortgages for my 156 W property. Unaware that these messages were indeed spam, I believed that I indeed had "been selected for a limited time for one of [their] best packages." I began looking into this package, and after receiving the fifth e-mail from them in two days, I planned on going through with the deal. Because of Howie's busy class schedule, I almost never see him, and I would never have thought to ask if he also received mortgage e-mails. But thanks to his sending his message to the whole list, I realized that these e-mails were actually spam. Howie's e-mail saved me from making a decision that would not only have been economically devastating, but also, quite frankly, embarrassing.

As Howie also pointed out, this list allows us to share our interests with those whom with we would otherwise not talk. I had always assumed that Zizter was a Lebonase radical. However, I now realize that he is a Spanish-speaking, Marxist-leaning radical and that he is also searching for "Peace, Land and Bread" in this life.

I would furthermore like to express my support for Steve-o as Dictator of Cell Block. With a 25% return next year, I think Steve-o is just the evil genius that this hall needs in order to work together and become the dominant hall on campus. I think Steve-o has the ability to manipulate the masses like none other, one of the most important abilities for a successful dictator these days. Him being omnipotent and omnipresent only further qualifies him.

I would like to encourage everyone to support Steve-o in the upcoming academic year.

In the words of our favorite radical:

Viva la revoluc�on!
Viva el presidente Steve-o!
Down with the Bourgeoisie!
Peace, Land and Bread.
Viva, Viva!

Andy
Cell Block Treasurary

Hey Everyone

I just want to remind everyone that the hall list is to be used for hall business only. Discussions, chain letters, spam, etc. are not appropriate. Remember that every time you send an email 37 people will read it. If you guys want to have a separate list for discussions and any other random stuff then I�d be happy to set one up.

Austen Smith
Mechanical Engineering Undergraduate
Resident Assistant
Michigan Technological University
159 West McNair Hall

...just as a sidebar, and just because I'm graduating and there's not much you can do... :P Hey Austin! Did you realize that you're the second person in as many days to tell people not to spam the list? Which makes it kind of a redundant spamming in and of itself? Bwa-ha-ha! Next time you need to address a spammer who you see three times a day in the hall, do it there, not on the list. As an added bonus, you can wack him on the heel with a Maglite. :P Oh, and just for the record, Howie, I think you stink. You stink like butt. :P And yes, I'm intentionally spamming the list with absolutely nothing of importance to say and you can all jump off a cliff! Business? Business?!?! We don' neeeeed no steenkin' business! 12 more days! Woo-hoo! Just kidding, it's been a really great year, and best of luck to you all! Shalom, Iceman

Austen, I just wanted to acknowledge your wonderful idea to have a separate email list for casual discussion. And I just wanted to reiterate over the list that what you proposed could be used freely for possibly sharing interesting webpages, jokes, and information about happenings here on campus. Had it not been so late in the year I would insist the casual list be implemented for our enjoyment, but the future residents of the communist house of Cell Block will benefit from your brilliant idea next year. Having the casual list might seem to solve some of the communication problems we are currently have wouldn't you agree. So once again this is a great idea and I am sure there would be plenty of support to make it worth while.

Iceman, I couldn't decide which way to take your comment, so after a while I decided that if I stink like butt then you probably stink like butt too. Congratulations on your graduation as well, I'm very happy to hear you will be moving on as well. As for encouraging people to jump off cliffs, well it is all fun and games until somebody gets mangled at the bottom. This would be stupid, and stupidity is not the answer. Neither is violence, but communism is certainly the answer. Steve Malek rise to power. Peace, land, and bread.

Just a reminder our bulletin board claims there is a free advanced movie screening tomorrow night of some movie with girls and no plot. Sounds like a real must see right Zitzer. Have a good day everyone.

Howard Smith
Cell Block Vice President
10 days until graduation
9 days until I will be forced to run and hide from the Michigan Tech Fund people for the rest of my life because they will still be trying to get my money.

Cellblockers
Is second that motion, Howie, It should be a good movie in Fisher. Here's a quick write up I found somewhere.

After being home schooled in Africa for most of her life, Cady (Lindsay Lohan, `Freaky Friday') is making a fresh start in a suburban Illinois high school. Trying to fit into her treacherous surroundings, Cady makes friends with two `art geeks' (Daniel Franzese and Lizzy Caplan), as well as three of the most popular girls in the school, known as `The Plastics' (Rachel McAdams, Lacey Chabert, and Amanda Seyfried).

Torn between the friends she respects and the popularity that will bring her attention, boys, and pretty clothes, Cady is pushed to the brink when The Plastics begin to betray her. Employing the rules of the jungle to help achieve revenge, Cady attempts to keep her self-respect as she sorts out the mess she's in.

What's really exciting about `Mean Girls' is that it was written by current `Saturday Night Live' savior, Tina Fey. In her first feature film screenplay, hopes were high that Fey could translate her razor wit and crack timing to the big screen, especially in the excruciatingly flooded genre of the high school clique comedy.

`Mean Girls' is a nice idea for a film, based on the novel by Rosalind Wiseman. `Girls' opens as a satire of high school life, complete with broad student stereotypes and requisite weenie teachers (played by Fey and Tim Meadows). The defining material of the film is how Wiseman juxtaposes the backstabbing, ferocious high school relationships with similar ones found in the animal life of Africa, and director Mark Waters (`Freaky Friday') covers this material exactly for the first 45 minutes. But much like Cady herself, Waters begins to fall a little too much in love with his movie, and he doesn't know when to stop. `Mean Girls' is only a genuinely smart, wonderful film for about a 1/3 of its running time. The rest is devoted to stale gags (the film contains another entry for the `2004: Year of the Fart Joke' awards) and material so depressingly familiar that it sucks all the energy out of the production by the time it reaches the hour mark, where it just simply shrivels up and dies.

Most of the fault for the failure of `Mean Girls' can be placed on Waters's shoulders, as he is just the wrong man for this job. Fey's script is peppered with biting jabs at overindulging parents, sexualized pre-teens (a ripe topic if I ever saw one), and the awkwardness of being in high school without a defining identity. Waters directs the film as a slapsticky carbon copy of the one million other films featuring teen girls this past year (yeah, it includes another slo-mo shot of the cool girls walking down a school hallway while the loser crowd parts), neglecting to come up with any fresh ideas of his own, and ignoring Fey's lead in indulging the weirder side of the material. Fey doesn't come away from this completely clean, as ten lashes are in order for writing an extra sensory joke that actually includes the punch line, `ESPN.' It's also too bad that she opted for such an unimaginative, played-out canvas for her first produced script. But under the direction of a Todd Phillips-style fearless yuckster, the dangerous side of `Girls' would be allowed to come out and play more. Waters can't quite sell anything that isn't completely obvious, and he's a wet blanket on the evident fun the cast is having.

`Mean Girls' has a lot of laughs, provided by Fey's unblinking eye towards the silly and the absurd (watch as the gay, flamboyant drama nerd sings `Beautiful` for the winter variety show), but she needs to find a director who can let her freak flag fly with total commitment. Waters isn't that man, and high school is far too dried up a target to be tackling anymore. `Mean Girls' wears out its welcome fast, which is frustrating considering the ability of the writer and the performers. ---- 5/10

Your Cellblock Movie analyist, Zitzer

We will be grilling at Hancock Beach today at 5. The food was purchased with hall funds and funds from the bathroom can box, so everything is free and ALL residents of cell block are invited.

If you need a ride, talk to Steve in room 167 or Howie in room 156. Rides will probably leave from the hall around 4:30-4:45. Several people need to return before 7 so there will be rides available if you need to get back early.

We have enough food for everyone to attend so take a break from studying and enjoy a good meal.

-Steve
Cell Block President

The steak social was good, thanks for the good turn out (no thanks to SAM) and thanks to the people whome helped organize stuff. During our social I reailized that not everyone (business, room 169) was aware of Andy's webpage full of funny stuff said from people in our hall. Here is the link to this web page which will only be avalible for about a week while he's still at school. Hope you find some of the quotes funny, go under the "school" heading for our local stuff.

http://andy.resnet.mtu.edu/Quotes/index.htm

Howie Smith
Cell Block V.P.

The eagle is in motion red rooster...stop

The swallows have returned to Capastrami, and a walrus is massaging the whale with cheese. Blue leader out!

Don't let the walrus leave, or the Octopi will revolt east of the Moose Ear.

The Miller Man

If the Moose Ear is full of rotting pickles, the platypus will sing awkward rhymes falsetto to the swine food.

-The yellow fart of business

Since we're all spamming our own list, I figured I'd end the year with a little bible message, since no one else is willing to do it. It's one of my favorites from Ezekiel chapter 25, verse 17. Have a good summer all.

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish, and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down on thee with great vengence and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers, and you will know my name is the LORD when I lay my vengence upon thee."

While Mr. Zitzer's quote does bear slight resemblance to Ezekiel 25:17, it is in fact a quote not from the Bible, but from Pulp Fiction. I realize these two spiritually inspiring works are close rivals, and easily confused, but really I'm surprised by Mr. Zitzer's mistake. Perhaps it is explained by the fact that a character in the movie Pulp Fiction *claims* that the quote is from Ezekiel 25:17. At any rate, observe:

The Bible:
Thus says the Lord God: Because with unending hostilities the Philistines acted in vengeance, and with malice of heart took revenge in destruction; therefore thus says the Lord God, I will stretch out my hand against the Philistines, cut off the Cherethites, and destroy the rest of the seacoast. I will execute great vengeance on them with wrathful punishments. Then they shall know that I am the Lord, when I lay my vengeance on them."
--Ezekiel 25:15-17 (NRSV)

Pulp Fiction:
"You read the Bible? There's a passage I got memorized, Ezekiel 25:17... 'The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children... And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you'... Now, I been sayin' that sh** for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a mother-f***** 'fore you popped a cap in his ass.

But I saw some sh** this mornin' made me think twice... Now, I'm thinkin', it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mister .45 here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or, it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that sh** ain't the truth. The truth is: you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd."
--Final speech of Jules (Samuel L.. Jackson) in the original shooting script for Pulp Fiction, written by Quentin Tarantino, taken from
http://hometown.aol.com/jamesarey/quotes6.html

Really, Zitzer, you should know better than to guide the morals of our impressionable hall with hollywood.

Guardian of the Truth:
Eric

--
An oracle is within my heart
concerning the sinfulness of the wicked:
There is no fear of God
before his eyes.
For in his own eyes he flatters himself
too much to detect or hate his sin.

Psalm 36:1-2 (NIV)

Amen Eric

-Kevin
MTU 4-wheelers
'88 Cherokee 3" lift, 235/75/R15 4.0L
'85 CJ-7 32x11.5xR15 258 cu in

A message from your President:

As the year comes to a close, marking the end to my first term in office as president, I would like to thank all of the residents who mumbled unenthusiastically "yeah" to elect me as President during the first hall meeting way back in August. For those 25% of you returning next year, I'll throw in a little campaign slogan for you:

"Mumble unenthusiastically Steve-o for President in '04"

I'd also like to thank my senior staff, Vice President Howie and Treasurary Andy for their hard work and advice.

For those of you who are not returning to MTU next year (incuding football players), good luck. For those of you not returning until Spring- I have no message for you, Sam. For those of you moving off campus or to a new hall- Cell Block rules!

Congradulations to our Cell Block graduates: Howie, Nate (Iceman), and Josh. If you guys don't know what to do with all of the money from your big fat paychecks from work, you could give it to me.

Have a good summer and drive safe,

-Steve-o
Cell Block President

"I would never put quotations below my signature on emails...never."
-Me

I would have to say that I agree with Eric on this one, the quote is definitely not the Bible, and should not have been represented as such. Bad form Zitzer. :P

However, I must point a few things in your rebuttal that are in err. First, to say you defend the truth means you must know the truth. Now, I do have all faith that God will and does show me the truth, but I must actively seek it out, and test it, and not take it for granted that what is said word for word by someone is true. And I know that I am only human, and cannot know perfect truth, and all that I understand is a mere shadow of what truth God has revealed to me because I cannot fully comprehend what that truth is. To say that I know or defend truth is to say that I fully comprehend God, which, I cannot. To defend something, you must hold it, and I do not hold God's truth. Only God is Truth. I believe in Truth. Truth defends itself. Second, to say that the minds of the people in our hall will be shaped by a passing reference to the Bible is counting them as highly weak and impressionable. I can only speak for myself, but my best guess from what I have learned from living with these men is that we have a very independent, very strong-minded group, that each individual has come to his own conclusions through their own paths, that many have landed upon the Rock and will not be shaken from it. They may not percieve God in the same manner as you or I; certainly, they cannot if God is infinte. And God has created each of these minds do chose as they will, to say what they will, to live as they will, and each soul and mind is precious to Her, and She will take care of them, even when they do not percieve it or believe it. And they may chose to reject Her, and while it saddens Her, She let's them go their sinful way so that man may see that he is no better than the beasts. Ecclesiastes. Find it for yourself folks, it's a short book that contains MUCH wisdom, and well worth the read. It may be God's purpose for you here is to help others along the way to Her with you by Her grace, but to imply that you know what is in the minds of the others in this hall seems to me to be leaning a bit toward pride. I know it is one of my own principal sins, one of the easiest ways I am snared by Satan. I do want to say that I deeply respect you, I know that your heart is in the right place, you only want to help those around you, and only have love in your heart as Jesus does for all mankind. But please, be careful when you love. It may make the difference between life and death.

All things, Insha Allah.
Shalom,
Iceman
p.s. Mmmmmmm....spam...it's good for you...20 essential vitamins and nutrients!! Don't quote me on that. :P
p.p.s. I'm just gonna say that any further questions/comments along this line of reasoning, I plan on discussing in person. See me in Room 153. I'm not Paul, and Paul is not me. Paul is my roommate. :)

Greetings all Cell Blockers, I just wanted to say thanks for the good year and the good times had once again living in the dorms. This year was the best of my four years livin in this same location. I appreciate the humor found in our last two weeks of sending email to everyone, it was classic. I forgot until it was too late but I was hoping we could have gotten a hall photo a few weeks ago to put into the trophy case but it's too late now.

Despite my very free schedule this week I was not around to see many of you leave. So I had a few things to say to some of you whom left with out me seeing.

Business Rob - Thanks for letting me play your guitar and taking the abuse some freshmen deserve, but you didn't. Come back when you decide to go for a real degree like engineering ha ha, good luck down where ever eh
Sam the JERK - Thanks for the pop corn Jerk, hope your co-op is good shit and try enjoy the rest of your college eh, and don't ever leave somewhere again without giving your friends one last chance to call you stupid.
Zitzer - You left in such a hurry I figured I would get back from lunch before you were gone. But I would've given you hand shake and hope you have a good time in the hall next year. If you keep gaming with andy why don't you just start kicking his ass so maybe he gets discouraged and stops playing because playing games from what I've seen can be addictive and probably harmful to your health in some way.
Kevin - As a freshman you really knew how to handle college which was not to seriously. I would have liked to have gone along on more of your adventures in the UP. Keep having fun because it makes this college bearable. Hope to see you next year and if houghton continues to not carry the beast ice I'll bring you some.
Peter Pantsless - I miss your frequent anal and pubic humor already.

The rest of you have fun in college next year because it's only fun when your young. If I had to do college over again..well first off I would never want to be a freshmen again but other than that I may have planned to be a five year student taking light credit loads each year so I would've had tons of time to do extra shit like I did this semester. I would recommend getting involved with some organizations because chances are you won't have time to shit later on after college life. I would try to hunt and fish and play in the snow more than I did. I probably would have taken a few more classes here also that looked interesting but never did because of the additional cost. I recommend to anyone staying in the dorms to go with the 10 meal plan, it worked well for me and I enjoyed the times I had to scrounge for good food elsewhere. I would recommend sleeping in the closet because it's quiet and dark. I would recommend big rear wheel drive vehicles because then hold the road better and don't get hung up on the snow very often. Go to class, screw the university every chance you get. That's some of the stuff I can recommend, hopefully I can say good bye in person to everyone else I know that hasn't left yet.

I just wanted to state that I will be working for MSA Professional Services in Duluth Minnesota and living at home in Barnum for the next few years of my life. Any of you that feel like contacting me ever should be able to get me at [email protected] if my mtu email account stop working. Also my AIM and Yahoomessanger screen names are "barnumsfisherman" as well. I intend to visit next fall and winter but I can not plan that with certainty. Hope to see you then.

Howie Smith
Cell Block Vice President
Graduating Senior
(email terrorist)

Dear Cell Block,

As West End Girls President, I would like to officially thank you for being such wonderful neighbors to the West End Girls(and 2 guys). It has been my pleasure being right next door over the past two years. I am happy to see that you are a very active and social hall (except for Sam cuz he skipped the steak social), which girls aren't afraid to walk through in fear of getting some strange disease. I enjoyed making your hall smell pretty with raspberry body spray. I know it was Rob's favorite smell. I think you should make your hall into a dictatorship with Steve-o Malek in charge. Steve M has a pet rock that likes windows. Furthermore, I would like all of you to continue calling andy by his nickname of "princess" because there are too many andys. Zitzer also has a nickname-and it is pinky, and he LOVES being called that. I would like to give zitzer the ability to keep a roommate for a whole year, and not end up with a french fry craving G-Mac.

Also, someone needs to make sure Steve Baiter gets his daily supply of blue jelly beans. And Nate-be good to jessica, shes a nice girl!! Matt and BLock- stay out of trouble. ANd Jon, speak like Smeagol a LOT!. heheh. OH, and Austen ...GOOD LUCK keeping them all in line next year. If I were you, I'd hide under my bed and cry. But with Sam gone, there should be less riots and visits from the cops, so you are lucky there. Also, you should exercise better control over the cell block list. How bout those twins? I hope you have a coed broomball team next year, I want to play on it! I SCORED this year!! Malek is an all star.

As a parting thought, I would like to give a SHOUT OUT to the short bus (iceman) who tried to catch a softball in his cafeteria hat, and to kevin "HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLO..LA LA LA" .. ANd I hope a big spider attack's Sam's spoon. your mom.

To have a fun year, and to the rest of you I recommend driving a big rear wheel drive car, eating a cheeseburger for lunch EVERY day, getting a gnome and taking odd pictures of it, and staying up late playing euchre. Also, the gnome around campus website should be up soon. I'll keep you all posted.

May the force be with you.

bugs n fishes,
emily
*west end president*
AIM: greengoat25

P.S. Beer is Bad for You
P.S.S. I hope some hotties move into my room for austen.

"If you were an animal, what would you be?" -me
"i'd be a tomato" -steve
See, he would be a great dictator!! Dictator Tomato!!