Hey All, Plz send feedback for this. I don't know how many parts it is going 2 be, cause I haven't finished it yet. Plz, send feedback. *REL *********************************************************************** A One Passenger Boat (Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Blue Heelers characters. They all belong to Hal McElroy and Southern Star) 'Jack is very quiet. He is usually quiet these days,' thought Jo, 'but today even more so. I wonder what's wrong with him.' When Ben brought the lunches in. Jo motioned to Jack to come outside, onto the veranda with her. Once they were outside he looked at her, "So, what is it??" He asked, "Why'd you drag me out here." "You just seemed very quiet today," said Jo, "Just wanted to check that everything is okay." "Nothing's okay any more," said Jack angrily, "How can you expect things to be okay when I can barely do anything??" "That's not true, Jack," Jo was almost in tears, "You can do plenty." "Don't you tell me what I can and can't do, Jo. You don't have any idea," Jack swung his wheelchair around and went back into the station. Jo stared after him. She hadn't wanted to hurt his feelings. Something was really wrong. If only she could find out what. That evening Jack sat on the couch at the police residence. It had been nice of Ben to let him come and live with him, he thought. Jack sighed, he felt awful about what he had said to Jo. He wanted to apologise to her, but he didn't know how. All he wanted was for her to love him. Was that too much to ask?? At the Imperial Jo lay face down on her bed. Her head swarmed with memories. **Flashback** "Look at her shoulder," one girl said. "Isn't it strange," said another. "Are you talking about me??" asked Jo. "Oh . . ." said the first girl. "We didn't think you could hear," said the second. **End of Flashback** She wanted Jack to know that she knew some of what it felt like. But she didn't have the courage to tell him. She hadn't told anyone in Mount Thomas, because she didn't want anything to change. She had the chance here to introduce herself as who she really was, not someone that was different to the others. **Flashback** "If you have this operation," the doctor said, "Then your shoulder will look normal." "I'll have it," Jo said, "Anything to make me look like the others." End of Flashback** Jo dragged herself off the bed and went downstairs to join her friends. "Hey Jack," said Ben, "I'm going down to the Imperial. You want to come??" "Yeah, whatever," said Jack, shifting himself back into the wheelchair, "Let's go." At the Imperial Jo watched as Ben and Jack entered and wandered over to them. "Hello," said Ben. The others greeted him, but Jo didn't. She watched Jack. He manoeuvred his wheelchair under the table and then just sat there, looking around him. "Hey Jo," said Ben, "I said hello. It would be nice of you to answer." "Oh yeah, hi," answered Jo, the others stared at her. All except for Jack. He didn't seem to realise what was happening. He didn't seem to realise that Jo was looking at him lovingly. Chris walked over to them, "Can I trust you lot to give me truthful answer?" she asked but didn't wait for anyone to reply, "I am trying out a new waitress. I am going to send her over to this table. Please tell me what you think." She walked off again, before anyone had said a word to her. A young woman walked over. "Hi," she said, "I'm Mary-Anne. Mrs. Riley is trying me out to see if I can be a waitress here. Can I take your orders??" Jo had a fleeting thought that she was a very polite person, but that idea was quickly bashed to the ground. Mary-Anne looked at Jack for a moment and then turned to the Boss. "What would he like??" she asked Tom. "Why don't you ask him??" the Boss said raising his eyebrows, "Why would I know??" "Well, I just thought that . . . oh well, what would you like?" she said turning to Jack. "Chicken thanks," Jack's voice was cold. **Flashback** The waitress was looking at her shoulder. "What would she like??" her voice was overly soft and gentle. "Why don't you ask her??" Dylan Parrish had said, "I am sure my sister can tell you for herself." "Okay. What would you like, dear??" the waitress asked Jo. "Spaghetti thanks," Jo replied softly. "Don't you think," said the waitress turning back to Dylan, "That spaghetti might be a bit hard for her to eat, with her shoulder and all. I might be hard for her to twist it up onto the fork." "I think," said Dylan angrily, "That you should just get us our food and stop being rude." **End of Flashback** Jo was pale as the waitress went back to the counter. She was shaking inside. How dare she?? What right did that Mary-Anne person think she had to come in and make Jack feel like that?? When Mary-Anne returned with their food, she gave Jack's plate to the Boss as well as his own. "I didn't order any chicken," said the Boss, "This is Jack's." "Well, yes," said Mary-Anne, "But I thought that it would just be easier this way." "Give Jack's food to him and then leave thank you," said the Boss. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Jack stiffen. Mary-Anne gave Jack his food and the turned around to leave. But suddenly Jo got up. "Mary-Anne," Jo's voice was so calm it scared her friends, "Do you know what it feels like when someone treats you like that?" Mary-Anne stared at Jo blankly. "It makes you feel unsatisfactory . . . and that is the worst feeling in the world. How would you like it if someone walked over to you and made you feel as though you weren't even good enough to order you own food, to take a plate from someone who is giving it to you, to be treated like a normal human being," Jo's voice had gone from deadly calm to an angry shout, "The only person who isn't a normal human being in this room is you. You. Because you can't even treat people with any decent respect." Jo shakily turned then and ran up the stairs to her room. As she did so Chris came over. "What the hell is going on here??" she asked, "I couldn't hear what was being said, but I could hear your shouting all the way over the other side." "Let's just say," said PJ, "That Mary-Anne here, doesn't pass her waitress test. If she can't treat people with a little respect then why should she be able to work anywhere??" "I trust these people," said Chris turning to Mary-Anne, "So I'm afraid that you can't have the job. You may finish tonight and then not come back." "No," said Jo, she had come back down the stairs and now walked over to her friends and Mary-Anne, "I would rather do the waitressing shift myself than have that . . . that . . . thing, do any more. I'll do the shift, Chris, tell her to leave." Chris stared at Jo, "I've always trust your judgement Jo, Mary-Anne, my friends seem to have a pretty good reason for disliking you, even if I don't know what it is yet. I think you had better leave." Mary-Anne stared at Chris in disbelief. "Go," said Chris, handing her a ten dollar note to pay for the few hours that she had been there, "Now." Mary-Anne turned and left the Imperial. "You'd better have a very good reason for that," said Chris, "Now what is it??" No one answered. Finally Jack spoke up, "She didn't seem to understand that it was my legs that didn't work and not my head. She was treating me like a five year old. But I could handle that. It was Jo that exploded." Everyone turned to look at Jo. "Well, it's true, okay?" said Jo, "When people treat you like that it does make you feel unsatisfactory and that is the worst feeling in the world. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to do that idiot's shift. I have already told you far more than I ever planned to, so just don't ask me any more . . . Chris, what do you want me to do??" Later that night Jo had finished Mary-Anne's shift. She was tired. Angry. Upset. She wanted to talk to Jack, but he has already gone home. Before she knew where she was she drove into the drive way of the police residence. The light was still on in the front room. She got out of her car and knocked on the front door. Ben answered it about a minute later. He was wearing an old T-shirt and shorts, but Jo was too upset to notice. "Is Jack still up??" she asked, forgetting once again to greet Ben. "Yeah, sure, come in, I'll get him," said Ben, he didn't notice the plastic bag she was holding in her hand. Jo sat on the edge of one of the chairs in the lounge room. She was nervous. Would she break down when she told Jack?? Was she doing the right thing?? Or was she making a mistake?? Before long Jack came into the room. "Jo," he said simply, "How did you know?? You got it spot on. Unsatisfactory and all that. But how did you know??" Jo had been planning on telling Jack herself and then letting him read her journals. But somehow now, she couldn't make her mouth form the words. She handed him the plastic bag silently. He took it and looked at it for a moment. "What is it??" he asked finally. Jo finally found her voice, "I . . . tonight I did something that I had promised myself that I would never do. I promised myself that I would never let anyone in Mount Thomas know even the slightest clue. But I told myself that before you got shot." There was an uncomfortable pause, "When that happened I had to rethink everything. More than anything I wanted you to know what you were in for. When you told me that you couldn't move your legs I was scared Jack. That was why I cried. I know what it bloody well feels like. Unsatisfactory, that's only one of them. Humiliated. Frustrated. Annoyed. Some days you want it all to end. It's worse when your a kids. Most adults can understand somewhat. But kids are just evil sometimes, they don't know how much what they say can hurt. I . . . have never let anyone see those things that are in that bag," she motioned to the one on his lap, "But I trust you Jack. I want you to read them, to see what happened. I can't tell you. My mouth won't let me say the words. As soon as I finish talking I am going to leave, Jack, because if I don't then I will cry . . . and I don't want you to see me cry again. It's hard Jack. I am not going to lie to you. All I am going to say is that the boat you are in now Jack is only made for one passenger. I was that passenger once, long ago. Now you are. I am going to hang on to the tail board of the boat, Jack. I'm going to let you drag me through the sea. I'm going to follow you and help you through his Jack, because going through it alone is worse." Jo got up and left the room. She went home. Jack looked down at the plastic bag on his lap. He opened it carefully. Inside he found a old, torn and shabby spiral bound journal. He opened the front cover. Across the first page was a sticker, on it was written: If you want to stare at something, stare at yourself in the mirror, not at me. As Jack turned the page there were journal articles, stickers with similar slogans written on them, addresses and definitions. The definitions were all of terms to do with disability. Paraplegic, quadriplegic, Cerebral Palsy, Spina Bifita and the list went on. On the last page there were two pictures. They were both of Jo, Jack realised. The second one showed her pretty much as she was now, except maybe a bit younger. But in the first one there was something wrong with her shoulder. It didn't look right. It sort of sloped down. But there was a smile on the miniature Jo's face. The same smile that she had now. The next day Jack couldn't bring himself to look at Jo. He knew that if he did he would find himself looking at her shoulder and he hated it when people stared at his legs so he figured it was just part of the same thing. "Jack," said Tess, "I want you and Jo to go through the property cage and get the book up to date with what is in there." "Can't you get Ben or someone to do it with me . . . or can't you??" Jack still couldn't look at Jo. "Why??" asked Tess, "What's wrong with Jo??" "Just . . . Tess, please," Jack looked her in the eye. "Oh all right," agreed Tess, "But this is nonsense." It went on like that all day. Jack found a way not to do anything with Jo all day. But it was very obvious to the others that something was going down. At the end of the day, Tom called Jack and Jo into his office. "Now," he said, looking sternly at his Junior Constables, "I want a truthful answer. What is going on here??" "What do you mean, Boss??" asked Jack. "You know what I mean, Lawson." "Nothing, Boss," said Jo, "Nothing at all." But she didn't look at him. "It hasn't got anything to do with that Mary-Anne person at the Imperial last night has it??" asked the Boss, "Because, if you are mad at Jo for sticking up for you, Jack, then you have got some serious thinking to do. That's what friends are for. Sticking up for their friends." "Friends are for hanging on to the tail board of the boat, Boss," said Jo, "And that is what I am doing. I'm not mad at Jack and I don't think he is mad at me. We are just learning a little more about each other's thoughts and feelings. I can understand it if Jack finds it more comfortable for him not to look at me for a while." "How did you know it was that?" asked Jack. "I was in the passenger seat, holding the telescope once, Jack. That is all that I am going to say," she smiled at him, "Boss, if you don't mind, my shift is over and I have got some photo albums to sort through at home. I'm sure Jack has stuff to do. Have you finished??" "Yes, sure, go on then," the Boss looked very confused. It was about half an hour later when Jo reached the police residence. As she pulled her car up in the drive Ben walked in behind her from the station. "Hello," he said, "What are you doing here??" Jo grinned at him, "Come to put things straight with Stretch, not that there was ever anything wrong of course." "Could have fooled me," said Ben as he opened the door, "You two were avoiding each other all day." "Things aren't always what they appear to be, Ben," Jo looked down at the two fat photo albums she was carrying. "What's that supposed to mean??" asked Ben. "Doesn't matter," answered Jo. "What's in the photo albums??" asked Ben, to change the subject. "You just answered your own question, Silly . . . photos," said Jo smiling. "No . . . I know there are photos in there, I meant photos of what??" Ben put his bag down in the hall, straightened up and looked at her. "Me when I was a kid and my family and all that," answered Jo. "Can I see ??" asked Ben. "No," Jo didn't look at him. "Why not?? You are obviously going to show Jack," Ben looked offended. "All right," said Jo, "But later . . . and not all of them, only the ones I take out." Ben shrugged, "Okay," then he shouted down the hall, "Jack, come and see who I found in the drive way." Jack came into the room and grinned slightly when he saw Jo. But she noticed that he still didn't look at her in the face. "I told the Boss I had photo albums to sort through. At that stage it was a small white lie," said Jo, grinning at her mate, "But now I do have to sort through them . . . to see which ones I can show Ben and which ones I can't." Jack smiled, "There were two photos at the back of the scrap book," he said. "Yeah," answered Jo, "But they weren't the best ones, they were just the ones that showed the most change. Ben," said Jo, turning to him, "I will show you some of the photos, but you have to promise me not to come into the room when Jack and I are looking at them." "What??" said Ben, "You're kicking me out of a room in my own house??" "No," said Jack, "Of course not. We'll use my room. Come on Jo." He led the way down the hall way. Once in Jack's room, Jack hoisted himself out of the wheelchair and onto the bed. Jo sat down next to him and put one of the photo albums on his lap. "This one has all the photos of me with the stuffed shoulder," she said, "The other one is more recent . . . it's even got some photos of you." Jack smiled at her, "Are you sure you want me to see these??" he asked. "When I do something, Jack," said Jo, looking at him earnestly, "I do it the full way through. I don't do things in halves Jack." "Okay then," he said as he opened the cover. He was greeted by two smiling faces. "Who's the boy??" he asked Jo. "My brother," she replied, "Dylan." "I didn't know you had a brother," said Jack. "I must have mentioned him," said Jo. "Maybe I wasn't listening," said Jack chuckling softly as her looked at a photo of Jo and another girl having a pillow fight. "That was my best friend in primary school, Lexie. The photos aren't in any particular order," said Jo. "Gathered that," said Jack, "Since the first one had you as a teenager and the second as a eight year old or something like that." As the two of them turned the pages Jack started to feel comfortable with it all. Jo didn't seem to worry about him seeing, so he didn't worry about it. As they finished all the photos in the first book, Jo looked at him, "Jack will you do me a favour??" she asked. "Anything," replied Jack, "Just name it." "The scrap book there is one blank page in there. Will you write me a message??" Jo handed it to him, just as he had handed it back to her earlier. "Sure thing. What about??" he asked. "Anything." "Okay," Jack smiled at her, "But not now. I'll write it later, when you have gone. Then I'll give it back to you in the plastic bag tomorrow. Okay??" "Okay," Jo stared up into his eyes. He was so handsome, sitting there, talking to her. Maybe just once she should . . . A knock at the door interrupted them. Jack closed the photo album as Jo told the person outside to come in. Ben stuck his head around the door. "Are you staying for dinner, Jo??" he asked. "Only if I am invited," she said with a grin. "Yeah, you're invited. "Then I'd love to. Oh and Ben??" Jo said as he started to retreat out of the room again. "Yes??" he answered, sticking his head in again. "Here," Jo handed Ben the second photo album, "Even Jack hasn't seen this one yet." When Jack and Jo came into the kitchen for dinner, Ben looked at Jo. He opened up the photo album. "Dylan Parrish," he said pointing to a picture of Jo and her brother. "Do you know my brother??" asked Jo in suprise. "Yes," Ben was looking at her strangely. Jo couldn't put her finger on why. It was Jack who spoke up a moment later. "It's not polite to stare, Ben. If you have something to say then say it." "Dylan Parrish only had one sister," said Ben, "And that sister used to be in and out of hospital all the time. There was something wrong with her shoulder. I met her once. She was a very shy kid. Very embarrassed of her shoulder . . . I see that you got it fixed." There was a deafening silence in the room. "How long . . . have you known for??" asked Jo. "Only today," replied Ben, "I never remembered Dylan's sister's name before. But he was in the photo." "You can't tell anyone, Ben," suddenly Jo's voice was desperate, "Please. Don't tell anyone or they'll treat me different, don't you treat me different either. Please??" "I wouldn't dream of telling soul," said Ben, "I like the out going Jo that I know now, much better than the little shy kid I met once. So it's our secret, me, you and Jack. I take it Jack already knew??" "Yeah, he did." "Come on, lets eat," said Jack, breaking up the difficult conversation. The next day as soon as Jack got to work he handed Jo back her scrap book. "Here," he said, "Read it in private." As soon as Jo got the chance she slipped into the locker room and leaning against the lockers she opened the scrap book to the page that had been blank, but now would be filled. Her eyes filled with tears as she read Jack's words. I'll Hang On To The Tail Board By Jack Lawson I'll hang on to the tail board I'll be with you all the way through I'll pull you up When you're feeling down I'll always be there for you The wind in the tree tops was whistling The sky was the deepest blue I saw you in the distance Standing there I could only look at you I'd never felt that way before What would you say if I love you If we could pass by the life before us Just you and me Would you love me back too?? I'll hang on to the tail board I'll be with you all the way through I'll pull you up When you're feeling down I'll always be there for you All isn't lost cause now I have you Like a diamond in my crown A sparkling diamond A shining diamond All in Mount Thomas, my town If I wanted to thank you I wouldn't know what to say I thought I was out of the race But you proved to me I wasn't I'll always thank you in my own way I'll hang onto the tail board I'll be with you all the way through I'll pull you up When you're feeling down I'll always be there for you