-All wood in the shop
-Fixing shit
-Children
-Crappy radio
-Whining
-Being a bastard
-Mullet patrol
-Gas
-Brunt of bitchy customers' fury
-Stealing Scott's disgruntled employee of the day status
-Mapmaster
-Talking to himself
-Turning in to Scott while he is not in the shop
-Head of the Space Program
-Curtain bitch
-Dodging semis
-Running like a girl
-Part time, non-commission sales man
-Cross dressing
-Dairy department
-Porcelain King
-Master of being fucked by the company for 10 years
-Microwave safety
-Plant bitch
-Flooding
-Air guitar master
-Bad singing apprentice
-Freezer patrol
-Creepy man boobs
-Mr. Clean
-Hitler
-Oustmaster
-Throwing like a girl
SCOTT (Poor attitude department)
-Disgruntled Employee of the Year 2004
-Complaining/bitching
-Fixing shit
-Spelling queen
-Spite/voodoo
-Making Dave look bad
-Smart ass comments
-Wal-Mart bitch
-Artillery
-Produce inspection
-Grammar police
-Arson
-Hanging up on people
-Scott noises
-Cupmaster
-Lamp technician
-Chief of security
-The Lord Sir Ass-Grabber III, Esquire
-Fixing the tape dispenser
-Honking nose blowing
-Bad singing master
-Pharmacist
JAMIE (a.k.a. complaint department)
-Phone bitch
-Stand assembly
-Fun internet sites
-Dodging Dave's creditors
-Dealing with angry customers
-Being hung up on
-Food bitch
-Stamping on garbage in dumpster
-Plumbing
-Human dictionary
-Dilly Bar patrol
-Taco Bell Queen
-Prowler patrol
-Repairing the internet
-Making Lou look like an ass
-Garbage bitch
-Weather reports
-Window wench
-Brunt of Luke's fury
-Can Constable
-Paper bitch
-Flymaster
LUKE
-Throwing shit
-Getting porn for Fat Bastard
-Putting off calls
-Yelling
-Daddy day care
-Scapegoat
-Father of all fast food restaurants
-Fathering kids at KFC
-Chicken choking master
-Master of changing other people's job description
-Assmaster
VYDAS
-Taking up space
-Standing in the way
-Stealing normal people's air
-Getting lost while he sleeps
-Cell phone incompetence
-Loading everything on the left side of the truck
-Chewing cud
-Impregnating farm animals
-Dumbass of the Year 2004
-William Shatner phone calls
ADAM
-Finishing things Luke starts/doesn't want to do
-Hiding Dave's porn
-Slave labor
-Contracting rare tropical diseases
-Cyclops
LOU
-Eating
-Sleeping on the job
-Brown nosing
-Being fat
-Creepy touching
-Stealing babies
-Eating enough to feed an impoverished village
-Superior fashion sense
-Invading personal space
-King of free range grazing
-All in all being a creepy fucker
-Encyclopedia Britanica
DAVE, THE MASTER OF STUPIDITY
-Excuse Master
-Blame Game
-Fucking up the schedule
-Avoiding phone calls
-Checking for internet porn/rating sites
-Fucking with time cards
-Not paying vendors
-Not paying overtime
-Making himself look like an ass
-Lying to customers
-Saying bye to the road crew
-Stealing certificates
-Fucking up when he sleeps
-Master of food hide and go smell
-Master of inefficiency
-Fucking over employees
-Porn king
-Not paying people what they are worth
-Buttfucking
-Treating employees like shit