Jizz Quizzes & Competitions

BEST BIRD IN LARKSIDE!!!
If she came round here now...invented by Al in 1993, this popular feature has been kept alive for some time due to the diligence of Jizz Readers in the town's taverns. Vote for your favourite local stunners in this exciting competition!

WHITE HORSE QUIZ!!!
True or false - ten things that may or may not have happened at the White Horse.

1. Freeway helped to detain a burglar one night.
2. Chris Garnett has played there once or twice.
3. Nobby was once threatened with a water pistol.
4. Generation Gap kicked Chris Burchill's brother out the door.
5. The Old Speckled Hen is okay.
6. Nobby is a grade eight pool cue player.
7. Johnny Stanton does forward rolls at Freeway gigs.
8. Marie was once an extra on Prisoner Cell Block H.
9. Phil Cross is barred for saying 'give us a double or I'll blow your head off'
10. Flo once said 'steady on there lads, what's the rush'

fun test results!!!
Forget those AS Levels and GNVQs, take the fun test to find out how corrupt you are. Mr Garnett is now immune from prosecution following the emergence of a far more sinister deviant who flaunts his depravity by playing the banjo outside Woolworths. Click here to download the test originally sent in by medical receptionist Diane.

The Legendary Corruption Test has been running for a while now and finally some statistics have been derived. It appears that anyone with a score higher than 290 is confessing to be interested in either necrophilia, paedophilia or even bestiality, or has simultaneously contracted an STD whilst 'paying for it'. 

Anyone scoring 278 has also had an STD and 276 means you are homosexual. 275 says you once got a threesome, you lucky bastard, and if you're on 274 then you also 'paid for it'. What a difference a point makes. Someone with a score of 272 is only to be applauded as they is definitely taken it up the arse. Recsept! Aye!

What is most bizarre is that a mere 271 means you have had sex with a relative.

Spot Mr G from this bunch of reprobates and win a free day at Plymsol Studio including a free session from Larkside's top marimba player. Warning - This isn't as easy as it looks. Extra points if you can pinpoint the two school bullies and the two poor kids they used to terrororise.

WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG
Can you identify this top Larkside guitar hero and playboy from the picture below?

And what about this one? Click here if you need a clue.

URINAL TEST FOR MEN!!!

You know the score, you're in the pub and you're just about to visit the toilet when your mate gets up first. You can't enter together, it ain't right. This dilemma never presents itself to women who are quite happy to visit the toilet in groups. Click here to download a .zip file of the legendary Urinal Test sent in by Jeson Nutter.

CAPTION COMPETITION!!!

Click on the thumbnail below and you can enter Jizz Magazine's Caption Competition. Send your captions to the usual address, swiftly if you can bear it. Jizz has received one entry so far from a Marlene Program of Essex who offers the caption: 'I only called for a taxi.'

SHOOT THE SCOUSERS!

Sent in by Rebecca Catterall, click here to download this .zip and start blowing Scousers' heads off. After all, they're all born comedians. Disclaimer: No offence intended to Ed's housemate Scouse Dave.

Test Your Gay-dar!!!

Some gay men (and women) claim to be able to tell when another man (or woman) is a friend of Dorothy. This ability is due to a sixth sense known as a 'gay-dar'. Click on this link www.btinternet.com/~b3ta/gayorstraight/# to test your gay-dar. Scores so far:

JIZZ AWARDS!!!

take my poll at: Jizz Awards:
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