Actual announcements that were printed in church bulletins.  


1. Don't let worry kill you--let the church help.
  
2. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
    
3. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of
   David Alan Smith, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Smith.
  
4. Wednesday, the Ladies' Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing
   "Put Me in My Little Bed," accompanied by the pastor.
    
5. Thursday, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club.  All 
   wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.
    
6. This being Easter Sunday, we ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an
   egg on the altar.
    
7. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
   Music will follow.
   
8. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is
   Hell?" Come early, and listen to our choir practice.
    
9. The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
   recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
    
10. The eighth-graders will be performing Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the
    church basement on Friday. The congregation is invited to attend this
    tragedy.
    
11. For those who have children and don't know it, we have a new nursery.
    
12. Eight new choir robes are urgently needed, due to the addition of
    several new members and the deterioration of some older ones.

13. Our next song is "Angels we have heard get high."

14. Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm at the First Presbyterian Church. 
    Please use large set of double doors at the side entrance.

15. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends 
    of the church. Children will be batpized at both ends.

16. Tuesday at 4pm there will be an ice cream social.  All ladies 
    giving milk please come early.